Pepe Billete's Guide to Celebrating Hugo Chavez's Death In the 305

Categories: Pepe Billete

Admittedly, I have a bias, because my love for Venezuelans began long ago when I first heard legendary Cuban singer Roberto Torres immortalize a traditional Venezuelan folk song with his rendition of "Caballo Viejo." That love was fortified last month when I realized I was completely incapable of ridiculing Miss Venezuela for her completely incoherent response during the Miss Universe contest this year porque me paro la morronga so efficiently.

Miami has a very large and significant Venezuelan population, and I feel it is time that Cubans share the joy and revelry that comes from being tremendo breteros on the street with our Venezuelan brothers and sisters. This is why I am calling on all Venezuelans (and Cubans) to join me in starting a new "casuela y cuchara" tradition, centered in one of Miami-Dade's densest Venezuelan areas: Doral. I propose that upon the official announcement of Hugo Chavez's death, all Venezualans within a 30 mile radius make their way to NW 87th Avenue in front of Hooters and celebrate this singao's death with pots, pans, flags, convertibles, chongas, pata sucias, puteria, and all the other wonderful things that come with la chusmeria Miami Cubans have enjoyed for so long! What better way to cagarte en la rinsigada madre de un Comunista singao than to eat alitas, stare at pechugonas and hit on hot-ass Venezuelan girls drunk in joy at the liberation (of sorts) of their homeland? That sounds like makings of tremendo tradition to me, pipo!

Love,

P$

Follow Pepe on Twitter @PepeBillete.

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8 comments
bateriayreggaeton
bateriayreggaeton

just to let you know that the 'Versailles' of the venezuelan exile community is "EL AREPAZO" on NW 102nd Ave & NW 58th St in Doral. http://www.yelp.com/biz/el-arepazo-doral

it was the center of activity during the last election and a resident of Doral Park it was hell to try to drive in and out of the area that day. anyway this is where you wanna be when he dies. all the news trucks are already driving by. 

chipahoy
chipahoy

Hopefully a mass exodus will follow and we can have our community back. If I see another Venezuelan flag I am going to puke!

Sara Burke
Sara Burke

dear chavez, karma's a bitch, huh?

alphylozada
alphylozada

A singar Venezolana's in front of Hooters. Que rico, keep up the good work!! Great voice for us wise ass Cubanaso's that know too much.

mplsdbc
mplsdbc

What a complete waste of a feature. Well done on more hard-hitting journalism, New Times.

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