Elmo, Barney, and Five Other Kids' Characters Who Could Be Hiding Dark Secrets

Categories: Lists
barney.jpg
via Flickr ElectricFrontierFoundation
Life as a children's entertainer is probably pretty tough. Imagine being an adult, constantly engaging in coochie-coo, baby-waby talk, dealing with annoying snot-stained brats who aren't even your own children, and, perhaps worst of all, having to smile all the time.

These characters are held to a higher standard than say, Kim Kardashian. While the public cheers on the DUIs, sex tapes, money shots, and all around debauchery of debutwats and child stars, it frowns upon similar behavior from children's entertainers. Go figure.

But lately, there seem to be a lot of drunken, sex-related shenanigans perpetrated by children's entertainers. The guy who did Elmo's voice was accused of having sexual relations with underage teenagers, and now the son of the woman who created Barney was arrested for attempted murder. It's only a matter of time before the next beloved children's character turns out to be hiding a deep, dark secret.

Who's next? Here are our predictions of potential kiddie characters' secrets and scandals that haven't been exposed -- yet.

lambchop.jpg
via Flickr SanFranAnnie
Nothing like a nice glass of champagne after a long night of hustling.
5. Lamb Chop After Hours
Many of us grew up watching Shari Lewis with her hand up Lamb Chop's ass. With a job like that, you know there have gotta be some demons lurking beneath that fuzzy surface.
Probable shocking revelation: Prostitution. A degrading job like Lamb Chop's could lead to some pretty expensive addictions. Just imagine: After shooting each episode, Lamb Chop, or Chuleta as he/she was known on the streets, took to hustling itself at tranny bestiality fetish parties for $100,000 a pop and all the gold spray paint the little minx could huff.

My Voice Nation Help
0 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Clubs

Loading...