Buckwild's Salwa Amin Arrested! Five Miami Stereotypes That Deserve a Reality Series
|We can think of at least five stereotypical Miamians more entertaining than the cast of Buckwiild.|
For three years, Jersey Shore pounded the stereotype into our collective consciousness with nonstop fist-pumps, hairspray, and GTL-ing. Ever since, the United States of America has been under the psychic spell of the Italian-American.
But with the news that MTV's redneck reality mega-hit, Buckwild, has been renewed for a second season, its clear that the nation has shifted its fetishistic voyeurism away from hard-partying grease balls and onto hard-partying Southerners. And Buckwild star Salwa Amin's recent arrest on drug possession charges will only keep viewers tuning in.
West Virginia's new to the game, but the Magic City reigns supreme when it comes to pissing awaying brain cells and dignity while living like a nocturnal Caligula. So why haven't we had a generalizing and parodical reality TV series based on one of our myriad booze-swilling ethnic minorities? No, the second season of Jersey Shore doesn't count --but after the jump, you'll find five stereotypes that would.
|Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky: Hot or Not?|
Let's start with Miami-Dade County's most under-parodied demographic: Ruskies! And, hey, we've got a spectrum to work with down here. You want lil' ol' babushkas knitting and kvetching and singing folk songs about working in Stalinist coal mines? Well, set the cameras up in the heart of North Miami Beach's Sunny Isles. Or are you trying to go edgy-new-Internet, and produce a show about Russian hookers bamboozling wealthy playboys in South Beach? The choice is yours. We're too busy refreshing Putin's Instagram feed to make a decision.
|Charlton Heston AKA Moses|
The cast would be eight Orthodox Jewish seventh graders, each with his own Bar Mitzvah coming up that season. And the footage would cover everything from Hebrew School to poppin' collars (and boners) on the dance floor.