Buckwild's Salwa Amin Arrested! Five Miami Stereotypes That Deserve a Reality Series

Categories: Culture, Lists
We can think of at least five stereotypical Miamians more entertaining than the cast of Buckwiild.
We never thought we'd live to see the end of reality TV's fascination with guidos.

For three years, Jersey Shore pounded the stereotype into our collective consciousness with nonstop fist-pumps, hairspray, and GTL-ing. Ever since, the United States of America has been under the psychic spell of the Italian-American.

But with the news that MTV's redneck reality mega-hit, Buckwild, has been renewed for a second season, its clear that the nation has shifted its fetishistic voyeurism away from hard-partying grease balls and onto hard-partying Southerners. And Buckwild star Salwa Amin's recent arrest on drug possession charges will only keep viewers tuning in.

West Virginia's new to the game, but the Magic City reigns supreme when it comes to pissing awaying brain cells and dignity while living like a nocturnal Caligula. So why haven't we had a generalizing and parodical reality TV series based on one of our myriad booze-swilling ethnic minorities? No, the second season of Jersey Shore doesn't count --but after the jump, you'll find five stereotypes that would.

Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky: Hot or Not?
Little Moscow and/or Russian Hookers
Let's start with Miami-Dade County's most under-parodied demographic: Ruskies! And, hey, we've got a spectrum to work with down here. You want lil' ol' babushkas knitting and kvetching and singing folk songs about working in Stalinist coal mines? Well, set the cameras up in the heart of North Miami Beach's Sunny Isles. Or are you trying to go edgy-new-Internet, and produce a show about Russian hookers bamboozling wealthy playboys in South Beach? The choice is yours. We're too busy refreshing Putin's Instagram feed to make a decision.

Charlton Heston AKA Moses
The Chosen People
The cast would be eight Orthodox Jewish seventh graders, each with his own Bar Mitzvah coming up that season. And the footage would cover everything from Hebrew School to poppin' collars (and boners) on the dance floor.



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Aditza 'Dizzy' Reyes
Aditza 'Dizzy' Reyes

And I have no desire to see cagaditas in shirts 2 sizes too small on the TV ... barf.

Sergio F. Maldonado
Sergio F. Maldonado

What about the people who went to a shopping mall university and get to wear scrubs and treat patients in our local hospitals with an attitude as if they were neurosurgeons, while at the same time can't spell stethoscope ??

Sam Heywood
Sam Heywood

Exactly. The "Miami is full of vapid, stupid people" theme is being completely ignored in the media. Let's exploit that.

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