Miami's Five Biggest Sapingos: January Edition

Categories: Opinion


4. Manuel Cruz
El hijo de puta este made news a couple weeks ago, when he was arrested for knocking out a girl for refusing to have sex with him. The news focused on the fact that the girl he hit is 17 and that he's a teacher at Hialeah High, but later it was revealed that she's not a student at the school. Pero a mi la pinga, fuck this piece of shit.

Turns out Manny's justification for his actions was that he and the girl were getting drunk on Scotch y emarijuanandose and he wasn't in control of his actions.

So what Manny basically admitted to the world is that he's un focking penco que no puede aguantar la nota, which is basically the worst thing you can possibly be besides being a child molester, a woman beater, or un indio cabezon que nunca singa.

A few months ago, I explained to some of my fans on Facebook why pencos are such pieces of shit, pero this being the New Times, I'd like to give you a little insight too.

In this world there are two types of people: pingus y comepingas. Un comepinga never gets any bollo because girls know that un comepinga is the kind of guy that will never notice that she has tremendo culo because he 's too busy complaining that her pechugas are too small. When comepingas don't get any bollo, la leche se le acomula en el cerebro and they become frustrados. Frustrados can't handle rejection and become overzealously violent when confronted because they don't want people to realize they're actually pencos porque ni un penco respeta a otro penco.

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