Miami's Five Biggest Sapingos: January Edition

Categories: Opinion


3. Kendall Dog Fucker
Antes de acostarme el Domingo, I checked the email for to find that a girl named Allyssa Rosales claiming to be from Kendall had sent me a video of her getting tremendo morrongaso by un perro sarnoso with the subject line "blow this up ;)" My brain was appalled, but my dick was confused. As you can see from the pic, la jeva esta preciosa, pero cojones just thinking of all la bacteria y el churre que debe de llevar el animal ese, y se lo esta pegando al pobre perro ese. I was grossed out, so me raje una paja, y bote el email pa la pinga, writing it off as a bullshit email.

The next day when I awoke and logged onto Facebook, I was shocked when I saw that she had not only posted it to her own account, but it had accumulated tens of thousands of shares within a few hours (estas pastillas me tinen el esleep eschedule echo una mierda).

I really don't know when this generation of young people decided that having integrity takes a backseat to fame (or infamy) when the opportunity ever presents itself, but if these little 21 year old putas are going to continue uploading videos of them pushing the lines of suciedad, me voy a mudar pa Cuba pa la pinga porque me van a quitar los views pal carajo y me voy a quedar sin billete. Yo ando hablando mierda hasta por gusto, singo como un chivo y camino con un braso metido en el culo las 24 horas and I still can't compete with that. I included Alyssa in this month's list because while I'm not exactly one to judge someone on their particular brand of perversion (unless it deals with a kid, non consensual partner, o un indio cabezon) if she really wanted to become famous, she could have just let me give her un mangeraso and avoided all the fleas and animal abuse charges.

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