Oscars 2013: Last Night's Real Winners (and Losers)

Categories: Film and TV

via oscar.go.com
Jennifer Lawrence, before the fall.
Last night, the 85th Academy Awards celebrated the art of filmmaking. Just kidding! As usual, the Oscars gave us all a chance to gawk at celebrities talking while wearing shiny things, in the hopes that we might see their jokes fail, watch them fall down, or at least spot a little sideboob.

That trifecta was achieved last night (thanks to Seth McFarlane, Jennifer Lawrence, and Anne Hathaway, respectively), as well as the task of announcing the winners of 24 categories in under four hours. By now you know that Argo dominated, Daniel Day-Lewis won as predicted, and Django Unchained's Best Original Screenplay award gave Quentin Tarantino a chance to get up on stage and tell everybody how great he is.

But those are just the Academy Awards. Who won the Oscars broadcast -- and who failed at being famous? Our picks, after the jump.

See also:
- The Oscars Best Picture Nominees, as Illustrated By Emoji

Winner: Quvenzhane Wallis
Did she take home the golden trophy? Of course not; girl is 9 years old. But with those gun show moves, if she didn't take home your heart, you are dead inside.

Loser: The Academy Awards Orchestra
It probably wasn't the orchestra's choice to play the night's minor winners off the stage with the music from Jaws. But "we were just following orders" didn't work for the Nazis, and it doesn't work in Hollywood. Seriously: rude.

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help

agree about the Jaws playing off music: totally rude. Also a scandal was the lack of stair attendants to help the women up to the stage. 

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault