Florida's Five Greatest Urban Legends: From Love Bugs to Skunk Apes
Florida is known for being, let's say, somewhat off. Lots of weird going on here -- unexplainable things. Hard to explain phenomena like giant rattlesnakes (true), bath salt zombies (not true), and LeBron James' skill set (very, very true).
Google CC Is this the legendary "Mexican pet"?
Of course a state such as ours, a state that ranks up there with California, Texas, and New York for serving as a playground for the most serial killers ever, has produced a plethora of urban legends over the years, from the "butt spider" to the skunk ape. Welcome to Florida, y'all!
Read on to learn more about mutant insects, giant sewer rats, and hidden corpses.
5. The Butt Spider, aka the Two Striped Telamonia
This tale has been around a long while and has several variations. It all started as highly sarcastic email spam, blaming the "butt spider" for the deaths of several Florida women. Why "butt" spider, per se? This craft arachnoid lurked under toilet seats and would crawl out to bite women on the butt. Perhaps, "lesbian butt spider" would have been better.
Either way, the original email message has been tweaked over the years in order to give it some weight, so if you receive an email warning you about the Two Striped Telamonia, don't freak out.
4. Florida Love Bugs
via Google CC
You know that time of every year when the air seems literally infested with pesky little bugs? They exasperatingly fly into your nose and mouth, and make your car look like Mothra puked all over it. Meet the "Love Bug", Florida's most annoying resident (after Janet Reno).
According to legend, these annoying creatures were created in a lab as a means to stem the mosquito population. Legend has it that scientists were intent on creating an infertile female insect that would mate with mosquitos, and accidentally produced a male as well. The bugs escaped the facility and reproduced at an alarming rate, making our lives hell and ruining our cars' paint jobs. Key indicator that this is false: How the hell did an infertile bug reproduce in the first place? People are dumb.