Pain & Gain's New Red-Band Trailer: Midgets, Macklemore, and Monk Getting Tased

Categories: Film and TV
rebel_wilson_pain_and_gain.jpg
Rebel Wilson's gonna do it to you ninja-style.
As Pain & Gain, Michael Bay's upcoming movie based on a New Times story, gets closer and closer to its release date, the staff here in the office has become slowly but surely divided.

In one corner, the optimists -- those who saw the original trailer for the film and thought to themselves, Hooray! This is going to be so great.

In the other corner, the realists -- this is Michael Bay, after all. Plus, have you read the original story? That shit is dark, man.

Well, the red-band trailer for Pain & Gain was released today. And y'know what, realists? It might just give you a little faith.

See also:
- Pain & Gain: From New Times Story to Michael Bay Film
- Pain & Gain Trailer: Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson Get Ripped, Hug It Out

Here, finally, we get to see Ken Jeong's role in the film: a motivational speaker who's achieved the modern American dream of ditching his devoted wife and children in favor of "seven honeys of which I could choose from."

Here, finally, is assurance that Rebel Wilson will continue to be awesome, with bits like drooling over her medical patient/future lover's "chocolate-covered Raisinettes."

And here, of course, are some truly stupid bro-worthy antics: bros getting tased, strippers tossing their hair around, a little person getting called "little fella" by The Rock while Macklemore's "Thrift Shop" plays in the background. There's a Lebowski-style toe amputation, complete with a little dog. Hey, remember the '90s, when you could dial *69 to dial someone back? Mark Wahlberg does. (And yes, of course they turn it into a sex joke.)

Look, Pain & Gain isn't going to win any Oscars. It's not going to impress any stodgy film critics. It looks insane and over the top and as WTF as anything you've seen in a major movie theater this year. It's Michael Bay on steroids, damn it, and it's either going to be so incredibly great or so incredibly awful that it comes right back around to great.

As the final seconds of the trailer remind us over and over and over: "This is fucking awesome."

Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

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3 comments
Aaron S. Zaslow
Aaron S. Zaslow

MY GOD. First it was movie 43, then it was Inappropriate comedy, and NOW Michael bay has returned to reclaim his mantle as the creator of the worst movie of all time (or at least of the year). The razzies will have their hands full if the REST of 2013 keeps up this cycle of TERRIBLE films

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