The Blacks' Annual Gala: Fear and Loathing at the Fontainebleau

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This year, New Times received an press pass to the Blacks' Annual Gala, one of the ritziest events in the Miami Beach social calendar. Now, why New Times would receive such an invitation remains a bit of a mystery. It's not exactly known as a paper that pays loving homage to the wealthier classes; I've personally been responsible for describing event creator Lea Black's part-time reality TV profession as "...one of the harbingers of doom for Western Civilization." These aren't the sort of things that tend to earn you a $650 evening of wining and dining amidst Miami's aristocracy at the Fontainebleau. The situation was suspect, but the deed needed doing.

See also:
- Lea Black on Real Housewives of Miami 's Third Season, Drones, and Her Upcoming Gala

Early in the evening, there was a distinctive buzz about the salon next to the red carpet, where members of the reporting community were salivating in wait for the celebrities to show up. They milled around in agitated excitement with credentials hanging from their necks and a look of hunger in their eyes that was deeply unsettling.

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Roy Black, attorney and philanthropist
I got a chance to meet Roy Black, Lea's husband, but before we could get past introductions, another reporter had descended on him in a frenzied tone of anxiety. Her passes to cover the gala, her first story, were somehow insufficient. As Black began to sympathize, the girl's mother swooped in like a bat wearing PINK brand sweatpants and began rambling about how many calamities the renowned attorney must have overcome to reach his place in life. Black made a move to flee, but the women persisted. Eventually, he arranged for them both to have seats inside.

I'd heard that the Blacks were having trouble filling the room this year, with an unprecedented amount of empty seats in the days before the Gala. Perhaps these two fortunate ladies were experiencing a very pragmatic kind of generosity by a man who knew precisely how much better a seat full of fodder looked than a seat full of air. Perhaps my invitation was the result of the same pragmatic thinking.

The atmosphere around the carpet quickly became exquisitely odd. As soon as the frothing press began crawling over one another to get the best angle of approaching philanthropists and former boy band members, throwing elbows and hateful glances, casual passers-by began joining the mob and a very serious colliding of strata started to unfold. Fearful coordinators in grey gowns were gripped by the wretched impossibility of keeping hordes of drunken wanderers wearing chlorine-soaked sorority shirts at bay.

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"Hey mister, do you wanna take a pitcher of us??"
The dull roar reached its zenith when Taylor Hicks and Lance Bass arrived around the same time. Hicks made sure to remind everyone why he was semi-famous, pulling out his harmonica several times and wailing on the jazz harp.

Bass stood out as the only person who looked younger than he did five years ago without a face entirely held together with silicon, plastic, and Botox. Speaking of botulinum, Lea Black played the gracious host for the cameras, ferrying these forlorn celebrities back and forth with a perpetual look of pleased surprise on her alchemically preserved face.

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In the foyer adjacent to the main ballroom, the bar, it seemed, had become a vortex. The bartenders on all four sides of their corral of folding tables danced around an ice sculpture of a glorified goose, as chiffon-draped, fluorescent-sequinned women and men in quiet funerary suits twisted their way into a whirlwind of alcohol-fueled fraternization.

I walked the room and took in the ambiance. One line of conversation that I heard in passing: "...his blood is like a 25-year-old's. We need him."

A man accosted me as I waited for my refill and began spewing gibberish about how many people there were. "These lines are killing me! We gotta do something about these lines..."

"We could slip something into the drinks," I responded. "That'll take care of these damnable lines." He agreed absentmindedly and took his leave.

The auction was going to start soon, and food was beginning to appear inside the ballroom. On my way to designated press table #10, I came across two towering figures standing next to one another. One was Dennis Rodman; the other was a giant glittering transvestite. Individually, they drew more attention from partygoers than Lance Bass and Taylor Hicks combined. There was something thoroughly comforting about this.

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Dennis Rodman being Dennis Rodman


Location Info

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Fontainebleau Miami Beach

4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, FL

Category: General


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4 comments
Gloria
Gloria

Sounds like Maggiemay is spot on the truth. Well said. 

I also refuse to support The Blacks Annual Gala anymore after someone posted the past tax returns from this gala. It showed that no money ends up going to the charity for kids. All the money raised is spent on the gala. 

Miamidude
Miamidude

This article is so bitter its pretentious. Surprised you lowered your standards to even enter the Fontaineblue.

Damn that Maggie is bitter! She must be a saint and never made a misstep in her life to be able to call out others!

dantevida
dantevida topcommenter

gosh maggie, u r one bitter housewife. it's unbecoming.

maggiemay1926
maggiemay1926

Lea Black is unable to tell the truth.  She states in interviews that this is close to her 20th year, then 19th year and in 2006 a press release on Roy Blacks law office website states that in 2006 it was the 10annual gala for the Bayfront School for Boys, not the charity that Lea Black invented to have something of her own. http://www.royblack.com/news/roy-and-lea-black-raise-2-25-million-with-10th-annual-gala/  A piece of this release states the following:  MIAMI, FL (January 30, 2006) - On January 28th, Roy Black, Miami attorney and one of the nation’s premier defense lawyers and his wife, Lea Black, hosted the 10th Annual Bay Point Schools Charity Gala at the Ritz Carlton, South Beach, raising $2.25 million to benefit Bay Point Schools, an alternative boarding school that provides educational, vocational and therapeutic services.

From the time she took over the money raised has declined.  Has nothing to do with the economy, nobody likes Lea Black.  The people come for Roy Black and not his tramp of a wife. She has been riding on Roy Black's name since she snagged him in the Kennedy Smith trial.  She is a joke to say the least. Here are some news tips on Lea Black if anyone has the guts to go up against her .  In Miami she  thinks  people fear her wrath. She is very threatening wielding her power by talking suing people, etc.  She whines to her husband like she is the victim.  If anyone has checked her past they would know she is a liar, but we think people just assume that she is what she says she is.  She will NEVER get another dime from us on her charity.  We used to give to the charity Roy Black started.  Then he married the witch and she took it over to make herself look good and it was never the same.  We gave alot to the Bayfront School for Boys.  I am not however going to pay for Mrs Blacks plastic surgery, her blood diamonds, and her limos and wigs and photographers....

We live in Miami, we know her, but she has skeletons far worse than the other housewives. 

    • Roy and Lea Black are cut from the same cloth. They deserve one another. She left her home town because she was dating Beasley Reese, football player, later went on to play pro.  and in those days it was not accepted to date an African American, especially in Texas, her family disowned her and she set her sights for fame and fortune. She set her eyes on this rich old guy during the Kennedy trial. Dumped her lover Al Perkins as reported in People magazine, after 4 failed marriages nailed Roy Black because she took over that jury and let a rapist run free to rape again. When Al Perkins died at the Black’s home his family told people that what money he had Lea Black took and would not give them anything of his back to them. What is it with her, doesn’t she have enough? Then she did not even go to the funeral. She had a funeral for her dog but not the man who she dumped for the rich lawyer.  She cried on the show abut her dog and seemed to mourn him more than her own sister.  Adrianna said that Lea was mad that she had to go home for her own sisters funeral.  She gets pregnant to seal the deal with Roy Black  and tried to help several of my friends either adopt or get pregnant to lock in their marriages to their rich men. What a tramp. She has lied about everything she has ever done. She skims off the top of the charity. She is a two faced hypocrite. Then to expose her son to that trial on that show telling him the Polo guy was not drunk. I don’t think she or her rich husband would care if it had been their son if it would put a couple of million in their pocket. It is a crying shame. The Miami community has lost what little respect they had for Roy Black after representing that murderer. And Lea Black has always been a hateful woman and no one likes her. If you ever hear any interviews the first question is always about the Kennedy trial. She isn’t fooling anyone. She doesn’t have a real friend to speak of. They should just move to one of the many homes she brags about and crawl under a rock. People are tired of them. They are pure white trash. They are both social climbers. One would think they would have hit their mark at their age. Hey they are old and they are still trying to climb the ladder. Maybe if they would not hang out with the criminals that he represents they would have some decent friends but no one wants anything to do with them. They are both rotten to the core.
  1.  She is a uneducated gal from Texas who after 4 failed marriages finally caught a big fish and sealed it with a son. She is disgusting.


Lea Black looks so old. Her hands tell it all. We are so sick and tired of her. Every picture she takes and posts looks like a different person, talk about touch ups. What a phony interview. Check out the following site and check out the first picture of her. http://news.lalate.com/category/lea-black/ She doesn't have an original thought. She is copying Lisa from the Beverly Hills group by posing with her leg lifted up in her pose, she stole the name Little Black Book from Lea Wait, she copied Andre Walker's website called "The world of Andre Walker", 4 failed marriages, her previous lover before Roy Black was Al Perkins who  died at her home and his family said she did not even come home. She took all of his money and gave the family nothing. What is wrong with a person like this. She is a common social climber who is what 62 years old and still trying to scratch her way to the top. She skims off her own charity Pays her employees from the charity and then they work for her other loser businesses, the list goes on and on. Why buy a skin care line she had 20 years ago. She is not an expert in skin care. She has plastic surgery, botox, and whatever else is available trying to look younger. Beauty is skin deep and she is getting uglier by the day.   She is really into herself.  It is sick. 

Why would we want to support a woman who claims to be so rich and famous and is one of the meanest people we know. She is not the queen of Miami, she is a legend in her own mind. She is the Queen of Mean!  It is time that her lies come to a halt!

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