How to Get Laid at Miami Beach Polo World Cup IX

Categories: Sports

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Photos by George Martinez
Polo is a pastime generally reserved for the upper crust -- they don't call it the "sport of kings" for nothing. And because it tends towards exclusivity, it's chock full of good looking, wealthy, and athletically inclined players.

Hot. Ness.

Yesterday marked the start of the annual Miami Beach Polo World Cup, so if you want to get in with the best of the aesthetically appealing, ball-chucking, horseback-riding athletes flooding the beach, you need to be in top form. Winston Churchill once said, "A polo handicap is a passport to the world." So, y'know, dating a player would probably make life pretty sweet.

We spoke to our buddy Alex Webbe, Director of Polo for the World Cup and all-around polo guru, for some hooking-up suggestions.

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1. Know your terms and polo basics.
  • A chukker is a period - there are four per game in beach polo.
  • In beach polo there only three players on a team - but in field polo there are usually four.
  • They hit the ball with the side of the mallet, not the end.
  • A polo handicap is what determines a player's skill. It ranges from minus one to minus ten goals, and it's so difficult to obtain that 90% of the players in the world sit at two goals or less.

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2. Use a horse-related pick up line:
  • "Who are you riding today?" "Who did you ride in the last chukker" They love to talk horse.
  • "I've got a stable of horses at home, I'd love if you could stop by and see them."
  • "Know of any good polo ponies for sale?" Most players are selling at least one or two ponies at any given time.

3. Don't ask stupid questions.

  • "Why did you need to use a whip on your horse?" It's a crop, and that's probably a touchy subject.
  • "Do you ride the same horse all the time?" They don't.


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14 comments
mark1282
mark1282

JC Chill people...  Had a good laugh.  Only in Miami!

Frank Castle
Frank Castle

this is not dumb...this is a good article and true, perfect for a pick-up artist like me

mariana.ochoa
mariana.ochoa

Because the only reasons that athletes are great is because they are wealthy and good looking, not for their accomplishments and hard work. In an effort to sound edgy, this article made the huge terrible assumption that ALL Miami residents are completely superficial. 

Cobra
Cobra

you deserve to be punched in the face for writing crap like this...

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