How to Get Laid at Miami Beach Polo World Cup IX

Categories: Sports

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4. Have some lines that make you sound smart. Even if you're full of shit.
  • "What a beautiful chestnut!" Because odds are, there's at least one chestnut on the field.
  • "Well done!" This applies to almost any match, to someone on the field.
  • If one team gets badly beaten, "They were obviously outhorsed." Meaning, one team had better horses than another.
  • If someone asks you what you thought of a chukker, "It was a little bit choppy from time to time." Again, applies to almost anything.

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5. Hey ladies! Here are a couple dudes to keep your eyes on:
  • Kris Kampsen: super talented dude with a six-goal handicap who turned pro at 15.
  • Santi Torres: 19-years-old. Utterly adorable. Young blood, baby!
  • Vincent Mesker: Denmark-born player who was the topic of a movie dubbed The Polo Kid.
  • Jamie Morrison: In addition to his outstanding on-field talent, this cutie's dad was a major music mogul during the days of Pink Floyd, Elton John, etc. Quite the family.

So go forth and get laid, polo groupies!

The Miami Polo World Cup IX is taking place on South Beach, between 21st and 22nd Streets, through Sunday. Attendance is free. Visit MiamiPolo.com for schedule and details.

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14 comments
mark1282
mark1282

JC Chill people...  Had a good laugh.  Only in Miami!

Frank Castle
Frank Castle

this is not dumb...this is a good article and true, perfect for a pick-up artist like me

mariana.ochoa
mariana.ochoa

Because the only reasons that athletes are great is because they are wealthy and good looking, not for their accomplishments and hard work. In an effort to sound edgy, this article made the huge terrible assumption that ALL Miami residents are completely superficial. 

Cobra
Cobra

you deserve to be punched in the face for writing crap like this...

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