Four Reasons Why You Can't Get a Date
Each week, Miami dating expert Nikki Novo gives us advice on finding love in this hopeless place. Today: What not to do to land that elusive first date.
Ah, the first date. Do they even exist anymore? After a string of group hangouts and zero dinner invites, you're starting to think the one-on-one date is becoming extinct. And on particularly bad days, you're wondering if the famine is a personal problem.
Listen up: there is nothing wrong with you. Repeat after me: "I am not broken."
Now that we have that clear, rest assured that the first date continues to live on, and all you may need are a few tweaks to your strategy in order to jump in the game. From learning to send the right signals to restricting yourself from giving it all up front, these three sneaky tips will help fill up that calendar in no time.
1. Your Vibe Is All Wrong
stab at sleep / Flickr CC
We Miami ladies are infamous for the "please don't talk to me, please don't talk to me" vibe. In our defense, we get double the amount of creepy, drunk douchebags approaching us than does the rest of the country. Not only do we have to deal with our own pool of them, but we also get a busload of foreigners. We've had no choice but to evolve and consider every unsolicited drink a threat to our souls.
But let's be honest: where has that attitude left us? It has left us with a closet full of short, tight dresses that would bore even Malibu Barbie.
It's time for a small change in attitude. Yes, while most strangers coming up to you at a bar, or anywhere else for that matter, might seem, well, strange, there may be some really good people in that mix. If you keep crossing your arms and assume everyone is weird, you're going to discourage the cool peeps and attract only the people who can't translate social cues (the creepers). If you do manage to lure in a decent person, you'll be too busy judging their approach and appearance. Imagine if they were to judge you off your cross-armed stance? That's not really who you are, is it?
Every chance encounter is just that: a chance. Sure, maybe he's not your next date, but maybe you spend 20 minutes laughing with a complete stranger. Or maybe he has a really cute cousin who is perfect for you. The purpose of your meeting is not for you to foresee.
Uncross those arms, open up those shoulders, and smile. But most importantly: feel open. If you can't be happy with where you are, you'll never get to where you want to be. Relax and enjoy the awkwardness that comes with meeting a complete stranger who may seem totally different from every other person you know. Is that really a bad thing? Or better yet, do you have anything to lose?