Ten Miami Guys You've Probably Dated

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facebook.com/theflatmiami
You've tried online dating. You've gotten fixed up by friends. You've gone home with someone on a whim. Somehow, you're still single. Is it you? Is it them?

How should you know? You're just a stranger out there in internetland. But we do know plenty of men in this city who fit certain stereotypes. And guess what? There is a good chance you are texting one of them right now.

See also: Ten Signs You've Lived in Miami Too Long

So, ladies, cancel your relationship advice book order from Amazon, because you aren't alone. Here are ten guys you have dated, dumped, or are hooking up with right this second.

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Miami Rebels
10. Mr. You're on the List
Your friendship blossoms when he begins putting you on his list for free entry to the club. Then the invites to his table come. After a while, you and your friends start planning your nights around his schedule at LIV. With this relationship, the perks are great: not having to wait in line, endless beverages, and bragging about hanging out with the Kardashians. But when the stench of cigarette smoke won't leave your hair and you start debating whether you should join CrossFit or AA, it's over. O-v-e-r.

9. Mr. Start-Up
You like to think your man is an entrepreneur. Really, he might be one! You know: starting his own business in Wynwood, bringing his family's store to another city, etc. But more than likely, when he tells you is an entrepreneur, it's code for "unemployed and/or drug dealer."

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68 comments
Ale Miranda
Ale Miranda

LOL we definitely fell into the trap of some of these Yanick! :-D

Anthony Djuren
Anthony Djuren

So basically....Miami is full of shallow, vapid, douchenozzles to date. no wonder women in Miami are so jaded.

Iris Torres
Iris Torres

Stay away from these lol Lauren Lauren Millsaps

castillocopy
castillocopy

They completely forgot the most common Miami Guy.....the one that says "bro" every other word and "dog" and "nigga"..starts all his sentences with "basically"..and pronounces his "T's" like "D's"...he can't pronounce "Salmon" and..he LOVES the Miami Heat and wears a Lebron jersey everywhere....he thinks he's gangsta...but lives in Kendall and drives a 2010 Civic.

Steve Sylus
Steve Sylus

....I've seen this article and it's counterpart soooooo many times.

Bridget Doyle
Bridget Doyle

I've proudly never dated any of these tools on this list, as they're douchey and embarrassing, honestly. It's sad for other people to read that these are types of "Miami Guys." The post should've read "Miami guys: can't live with 'em, and don't fucking want to."

Michi Chelly
Michi Chelly

@sandy Hernandez They forgot the storyteller, that never says one true thing Ever lol

Aina Gonzalez
Aina Gonzalez

I know they tagged you already but OMG Coloma Kaboomsky!!!!!!

Denise Marie
Denise Marie

Again?? Why are you recycling your crappy content?

Mauricio Calvo
Mauricio Calvo

Hey Juan Zavala not sure who this Mike Padilla is, but more than one Mexican on this thread is plenty.

Isaias 'izzy' Rivero
Isaias 'izzy' Rivero

There's only one type of chick in Miami. The "How much do you make in a year?" chick.

Mike Padilla
Mike Padilla

Juan Zavala, I would've pegged you dating a Chicago guy before a Miami guy!

Juan Zavala
Juan Zavala

It sounds like you've been hurt before Mauricio?

Carlos Martinez
Carlos Martinez

This girl on the right looks like someone I know! Jessica Rivas

Mauricio Calvo
Mauricio Calvo

Since we are generalizing... One Miami girl that you probably dated. “So, what do you do for a living”

Jo Braga
Jo Braga

This was... Pretty dumb... Did you guys pay for this?

jcmonduy
jcmonduy

This is 90% of the Miami singles hahaaha very accurate. the other 10% are just the cheaters who just like to play with no reason and broke af! LOL 

omiev22
omiev22

Where is the spanish CUBAN MEN that BEAT their woman? sad but true?!


MiamiGigi
MiamiGigi

The reality is that many Miami singles are jaded by all the debauchery and lack of substance prevelant in this City. It's all about casual relationships with so many options and lack of value for meaningful connections and relationships because something easy is just around the corner so why sit down for a meal when there's drive-thru? It's really a shame all the empty souls of all ages running around this town spreading confusion, pain, and even worst diseases.

My beloved Miami and our people need to grow and learn to be a city and people of Value.


Darian Faroy
Darian Faroy

fun article without any Miami bashing. Sharing.

Roxana Gosney
Roxana Gosney

well my single years are over and yes i guess i dated a few out of towner LOL!!!

poopdeeeloop
poopdeeeloop

@omiev22 ignorant comment considering the population of Cubans are very high in South Florida. Aside, all men from all nationalities and race have beat women. fail.

Britbrit922
Britbrit922

@MiamiGigi WELL SAID...and 100% true.  Finally some sense in a person.

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