Ten Signs You've Lived in Miami Too Long
Miami is a beautiful city, a corrupt metropolis, a straight-up strange place full of weirdos. It's a diverse, messed-up, exotic destination. No wonder the tourists always look so shell-shocked.
Phillip Pessar/Flickr This dude definitely needs to check his perspective.
Hell, even if you call Miami home, it's easy to lose yourself here. And that's not always a good thing.
Face it: Too much time spent in this city has the potential to change a person. It might change you for the better; you'll probably pick up some Spanish, for instance, if you weren't raised speaking it. But it might also give you a few bad habits -- and we're not talking about just hookers and yeyo.
If you find yourself exhibiting any of the below symptoms, it's probably time to get out of town.
See also: Ten Signs You're a Miami Art Snob
10. You've forgotten where the turn signal is.
It's the number one complaint about Miami drivers: Nobody uses their damn blinker. What outsiders don't know is that to most Miamians behind the wheel, the turn signal is a sign of weakness; alert other drivers of your intentions to change lanes, and they'll speed up to block you. It's a way of life down here.
You can be forgiven for eschewing the turn signal in favor of highway equality. (Hell, the cops don't seem to give a shit.) But if you've forgotten how to turn the thing on in the first place, it's probably time to drive yourself straight outta Miami for a reminder of how roadway etiquette is supposed to work. The good news is you won't have to go far; somewhere between Miami and Orlando, people start driving with a conscience again.
9. You own one or more pairs of Uggs.
Like any other art form, fashion is judged partly by its context. And if you're wearing Uggs in Miami, sorry, but the context is sweaty feet. Even if you grew up in Miami, there are maybe -- maybe -- two or three weeks a year when your feet are comfortably cozy in Uggs. And if you're the kind of person willing to pay upward of $150 for footwear you can't even use for a full month, that paints you a different shade of ugly. Pack up those boots and go to Aspen until you remember how great it feels to wear flip-flops.