Real Housewives of Miami, Episode Six: Breaking Bad Edition
With the end of Breaking Bad on its way, we've been thinking about crystal meth. Not actually going out and using the stuff, of course. But its symptoms are eerily similar to be behavior of the people on Bravo reality shows.
Think about it: The mania, the twitchiness, the weight loss, the paranoia? If it weren't for their perfect teeth, the Real Housewives would be DEA target number one.
Clearly, this proves that Bravo is a dangerous, addictive substance. But hey, we can quit anytime we want.
Speaking of potentially methed-out feelings, we've really begun to enjoy Lisa Hochstein. But y'know who doesn't? Her husband's family. And it's a huge mystery to Lisa of why her in-laws hate her. Maybe because she tells Mama Hochstein that she thinks she's annoying. Not behind her back -- straight to her Russian face. But hey, if our husband's madre forced us to eat weird Eastern European buffet meat, we might be bitter too.
Over on BET, Kevin Hart gives you Real Husbands of Hollywood. Next up for Andy Cohen's next project: Real Husbands of Miami. In what we are going to call Bravo history, one husband decided it's time to put an axe in the petty bullshit. "That is what all normal humans should do," you say? Don't we know it.
We aren't proud to say we watch all the Housewives franchises. Most of these ladies just fight and get drunk, but in the 305, they wives keep insisting on bringing their viewers to tears during programing. First Lisa and her fertility issues. Now, Alexia and Frankie's progress with rehab. Can we just have our pinot grigio and terrible TV without the tissues?