Ten Miami Girls You've Probably Dated

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The ladies of Miami-Dade do a lot of complaining about their dating prospects. But guys, you have it rough too. You have given your best effort at speed dating. You have hit up every wine bar in a 30-mile radius. There is a good chance you read "Ten Miami Guys You've Probably Dated" and thought to yourself, That's not me, bro. And hey, it might not be, bro. Anything is possible.

Stereotypes don't discriminate based on gender, and for every "Mr. Mama's Boy" or "Mr. Brickell," there's an equal and opposite type of woman in the 305.

What we are really trying to say is this: Here are ten girls you have sexted, had sex with, or filed a restraining order against.

See also: Ten Miami Guys You've Probably Dated

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10. Miss Public Relations
She could market ice to Eskimos. She is career-driven, persistent, and probably sends you texts saying, "I just wanted to follow up," when you don't immediately write her back. Her social calendar is as extensive as her Louboutin collection, and this keeps you going out all the time. But speaking of time -- she has none of it. Her boss expects her in the office from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., minimum. So why is she the boo to your booty call? Because she is available only late at night, and when she can actually hang she is interested in only two things: food and sex. Who loves both of those things? You do.

9. Miss Daddy's Girl
Maybe you think it's hot when she calls you daddy. But with this girl, you aren't the only one who gets that title. This gal still lives with her folks even though she's in her 20s with a real job and plenty of money to move out on her own. So why does she stay with the 'rents? She has not one but two people coddling her and paying her bills. Getting involved with a daddy's girl is fun for a while. She has plenty of money to spend and is always, and we mean always, willing to go to you. Then you realize she has essentially become your second roommate. Hang out or bang it out at her parents? Not an option. It's your place or nowhere, buddy.

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39 comments
nanana
nanana

Im a wynwood girl but i like to shower and shop at marshalls and i only drink craft beer...so what does that make me?

Erick Villamil
Erick Villamil

F**k I think I dated all ten at one point or another.

Jeffrey Zaballa
Jeffrey Zaballa

hahaha, rich, vapid partygoers are so fun to write about!

roxyfoxy233
roxyfoxy233

Im not like that....  I want true things to stick with for life if at all possible man, father, companion to my life and show off my family too... Me trying to be supportive to him...


Luis Ngchong Jr
Luis Ngchong Jr

i live in Miami so far almost every girl i dated so far is a gold digger they only date me to go out to eat and drink wine like its water welcome to miami

Tony Miller
Tony Miller

This its clearly fiction. People in Miami don't date. Hookup, hangout, see somebody but never date.

vicequeenmaria
vicequeenmaria

Morales, I published the link below on August 31 as my response to the male-bashing lists.  I'm a tried and true native and a former contributor to Miami New Times :-) ... It's all good though.  I don't know squat about dating in your 20s in this city anymore. It's a dirty job and somebody's gotta write about it at all ages. I just cater to "older" audiences.  I enjoyed Stacey's article.  Just a different kind of apple, that's all.


http://sexandthebeach.blogspot.com/2013/08/10-miami-women-youve-probably-dated.html

Alex Alvarez
Alex Alvarez

Worst dating pool Ive ever lived in..quality people are very hard to find..

Najsoj Osnola
Najsoj Osnola

ive been a victim of the gold digger...but i dropped them like a hot potato once i discovered their true intentions

Frank Castle
Frank Castle

ive dated the 'gold digger" girl alot of times here in miami, i guess it goes with the territory when your good looking like me

Frank Castle
Frank Castle

the list is pretty good but you forgot acouple of other types, girls are worse when dating, trust me

roxanatgosneyk
roxanatgosneyk

well i live in West Avenue in my single years lol:_))


Bilge Rat
Bilge Rat

Wow I've dated #1,#4, and a few #7's. I've only lived here 2 years and 1 month.

Roberto Alba-Bustamante
Roberto Alba-Bustamante

Haha so much opportunity was lost here. So many other, funnier stereotypes that were missed. Fresh-off-the-boat Cubanitas, South American rich girls, La Salle girls, and other South Florida specimens were not mentioned. But it was a good effort.

Andrea Kafure
Andrea Kafure

Haha this post is prob gonna make my day ! About to read it Alexandria Iona

Alexandria Iona
Alexandria Iona

Excuse me, #7? Wynwood girls only look poor and dirty. SAKS and showers all day. Andrea Kafure

Beatriz Velo-Arias
Beatriz Velo-Arias

Guys, I really don't think these articles are meant to be taken seriously. Or as a true guide of Miami men and women. Just a light, humorous piece to be read during your lunch brake and get a laugh or two out of you.

Valerie Hower
Valerie Hower

this one is just as cute as the 10 guys list. haha

Samantha Savory
Samantha Savory

stolen idea from complex... but nonetheless good list. #10 LOL #MEEEE

Jenni Warjas Morales
Jenni Warjas Morales

This, like the 10 Guys list, was so obviously written by a recent transplant to the 305, whose shallow life revolves around partying. Sad, because Miami & Miami Beach do have some pretty laughable stereotypes. How about we let a native redo them? Or at least someone who stays sober 3 nights/wk or more.

antoncik
antoncik

you missed 1 more type - the YOGA GIRL.. stretching at Standard and meditating in Bath SOund on Lincoln..


vicequeenmaria
vicequeenmaria

Ah, wonder if this article was inspired by a particular Miami blogger? ;-)

Great job, Stacy.  

Liz Tracy
Liz Tracy

I just REALLY hope I was included on this list...

Najsoj Osnola
Najsoj Osnola

this city is full of crazy ass, unstable bitches that have no clue what they want.

Aimee79
Aimee79

I agree, but La Salle girls?

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