Ten Miami Gay Guys You've Probably Dated

Categories: LBGT, Lists, Opinion

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Flickr.com/Mary Hogan
In recent weeks, we have examined the diverse dating scene in the Magic City. First, we ran down the ten Miami guys you local ladies have dated. Then we gave Miami girls the same treatment. Soon after, our gay readers began asking, "What about us?"

Don't worry -- we weren't leaving you out. We were just saving the best for last.

Dating disasters don't discriminate. From gay to straight, white to black and even drag queens, it's hard out there to find love. So from gym rats to clingy types to party boys, here are ten gays you have probably been with, slept with, or are stalking on social media.

See also: Ten Miami Guys You've Probably Dated

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flickr.com/chuvaness
10. Mr. Grindr
He lives just 60 feet from you. How do you know this? Because you're both on Grindr, so you can stalk each other from not-so-afar. You've gotta hand it to Steve Jobs -- with the iPhone, he gave gays the ability to find a lover quicker than you can say, "Got a condom?"

Your affair with Mr. Grindr begins, well, because he lives down the block. And he isn't looking for an LTR -- just a NSA. Versatile? Hell yeah. Who doesn't love a hot, leave-your-names-and-clothes-at-the-door kind of affair? Sure, his profile photo is from 1996, but hey, sometimes a guy has got to get it in. When the sex is good, you want more. But sadly, that is the last you ever see of him. Where did he go? Why was his profile removed from your favorites? Because he has moved on to Scruff, duh. Or even worse: He blocked your ass. But you'll always have the memories -- and the scratch marks.

9. Mr. ESPN
Your relationship didn't start off on the best foot -- mostly because you had no idea he was gay. His jeans are Levi's, his shirt has some mascot on it, and, let's be honest, he hasn't seen a collared shirt in years. This man isn't just any Miami Dolphins fan; his dog's name is Dan Marino. (And of course the dog is something super-butch: a Doberman, black lab, something mixed he saved from the beaches of Puerto Rico, you get the idea.)

Though you enjoy the games, or at least the tailgating, the booze can flow only so long. Once your tank-top tan lines from tailgating refuse to fade, it's time to throw in the towel.

See also: Ten Miami Girls You've Probably Dated

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5 comments
Fernando Buch
Fernando Buch

Lol. Proud to be a Mr. Espn/fight for your rights.

alex.wall
alex.wall

Alright, now where's the lesbian list?

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