Ten Miami Gay Guys You've Probably Dated
8. Mr. Fight for Your Rights
Flickr.com/Michel Mikiane Levy-Provencal
One day, the children of the world will find it unthinkable that Uncle Joe and Uncle Dave were once legally barred from getting married. Mr. Fight for Your Rights, like most of us, wants that time to be now. Like, yesterday.
There is a good chance you two met at a Save Dade or Michael Gongora for Mayor networking event. You find it inspiring that he is so passionate about the fight for equality. With time, rally T-shirts begin to replace the Tom Ford designs in your closet, and your backseat fills up with picket signs. But you soon realize it might be time to bail. He'll never feel as passionately about you as he does about fighting discrimination, and besides, he doesn't have time for you. Rallies don't walk themselves, OK?
7. Mr. U-Haul
Your first date wasn't good; it was great. You drank wine, nibbled on cheese, and before you knew it, he was in the sack. Breakfast in bed? You know it. Homemade gluten-free lunches? Oh yeah, that happened. Afternoons spent antiquing? Please, that's a given. Before you know it, Mr U-Haul isn't just casually dropping by your place; that boy has a key.
In the beginning, those "good morning, baby" texts weren't just cute; they were what The Notebook-esque romances are made of. Then the "Look what I had for lunch" pictures start. Lyrics from Lady Gaga are coming into your phone at a rapid pace. Soon, he is showing you photos of Lance Bass' engagement and telling you, "That could be us!" He doesn't give a shit that it's been less than month since you began dating; that U-Haul is booked, and there is no looking back. In the words of Beyoncé, if you like it, you should put a ring on it. If not, you have only two options: move or enter witness protection.