Real Housewives of Miami, Episode Ten: Was Adriana's Wedding the Worst Ever?

It's true what they say: all ladies dream of their wedding day. The white dress, friends and family, B12 shots in the ass, multiple outfit changes, running two hours late.

Oh wait -- that's Adriana de Moura's wedding day. Sorry, we are getting ahead of ourselves.

See also: Real Housewives of Miami, Episode Nine: Birthdays With a Side of Bitchiness

Since episode one of Real Housewives of Miami, we have heard of this grand affair, straight from the mouth of de Moura. Finally, the day had arrived, both for Adriana and for us, the viewers. But before we could actually see what went down at The Biltmore, we caught up with the D-list gals for a beach day.

That 'D,' by the way, stands for "disinvited." Lea and Joanna did not get their save-the-dates to Adriana's epic wedding affair, but after seeing this episode, I can't imagine they are too upset about that. Perhaps the most special moment was getting reintroduced to Lea Black and her impeccable fashion sense. No one gives us Erika Badu realness in a turban like that woman right there. Much respect, Black.

Oh and even more respect for her closet that is literally the size of our apartment. Actually, maybe it's larger.

Here's a little advice for all future brides: It takes more than one or two hours to get ready. Who learned this the hard way? Miss --er, now Mrs. -- Adriana. Getting ready for a wedding at 2 p.m. with a wedding at 6 p.m. is less than a good idea. But on that same note, when things do get down to the wire, just follow in the footsteps of Marysol Patton and have a "cocky" also known as cocktail. Maybe even two... or four.

So at 5:10 p.m., Adriana still had on her facemask and wet hair. What we love is that the minister truthfully threatened that she was starting at 6:05 p.m. with or without her. Preach on!

Let's be honest: we all knew that a 6:05 start time just wasn't happening. So at 6:55 p.m., she was ready to arrive looking all kinds of wedding wonderful. Only problem was that her veil wasn't to her liking. Is this not something you try on before walking down the aisle? Apparently not. So what do you do in a time of trouble? Just rip it - which is exactly what she did. Hot mess incident #19430.

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