Florida Is "Penis Gun Freakyland," According to Australia

Categories: Culture

florida_penis_gun_freakyland.jpg
It's official. Everybody hates Florida.

Sure, the state has long been on U.S. liberals' shit lists. Fans of voters' rights haven't been too impressed with us recently either. Nor have civil rights advocates, or anybody interested in keeping his face attached to the front of his skull.

But just in case you thought Florida's notoriety had stayed inside America's boundaries, think again. Even poorly educated Australians who use comic sans font know this state as "penis gun freakyland."

That's the lesson we're taking from this map, titled "America's States, labelled by an Australian who's never been there and knows nothing about its geography."

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The map has been making the rounds on Tumblr, Reddit, and social media lately, in part because it's so tragically misinformed, but mostly because of its author's creative guesses/jokes at the states' expense. Alaska, for example, is labeled "left Canada"; Nevada is simply "kite." Across Montana, the Dakotas, and Minnesota, the author asks the question, "why the frick you gotta have so many states yo?" (His best guess as to where the Dakotas really are? New Mexico and Colorado.)

Florida, on the other hand? Dude clearly knows Florida, even calling it out by name: "Florida, aka penis gun freakyland." In fact, it's one of just six states that are labeled correctly on the map. (The others: Alaska, Hawaii, Texas, California, and Washington -- and those last two are borderline guesses.)

So, um, congrats, Florida! You're world-famous! Just try not to dwell on the reasons why.

Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.

Send your story tips to Cultist at cultist@miaminewtimes.com.

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