Real Housewives of Miami Reunion, Part Two: Ten More Moments You Missed
Monday evening, Bravo brought us the glory that is the Real Housewives of Miami reunion. Thought part one was a hot mess? Then you probably weren't ready for number dos. Once again, here are ten moments we truly loved.
10. Lisa at Joanna's Wedding -- What Happened?
Bravo has a phrase we have all accepted into our lives: "throwing shade." Well, Joanna was essentially an umbrella last night. She is suggesting Lisa made some questionable choices at her wedding. What are these questionable choices exactly? Well, we aren't sure. We are going to go ahead and assume she got Vegas-style wasted once again. But, um, isn't that the point of weddings anyways?
9. Joanna is a Hooker
But before you get out the tissues for Lisa, remember: our girl Joanna wasn't so innocent herself. Accusations that Mrs. Krupa was/is a hooker and/or an escort in her native Poland were made by Hochstein. If that hasn't come out yet, let's be honest -- it probably isn't true. But... wouldn't it be great if she was? Who doesn't love a good sex scandal, right?
8. Marysol Talks Mama Elsa
Part of our heart belongs to Marysol Patton, we will admit. That is mainly because we want nothing more than her mother, Mama Elsa, to adopt us and tuck us in at night. But the media maven did bring us a reunion first: an iPad message from her father pre-surgery. Oh and not just that: she brought a speaker so God and everyone could hear how much Papa Patton truly hates Lea. We want to support you girls, but yeah, we can't. Even for a Bravo reunion special, this was a little crazytown.
7. Let's Talk Scarface
When you live in Miami, a few sterotypes comes with your address: That you're always late, go out 24/7, have a mild to strong cocaine addiction, etc. But for Cuban Barbie Alexia, one of those things came true. Thanks to Andy Cohen and his ability to grill women to the core, she confessed that her husband didn't just deal cocaine; he was a baby Scarface with a pretty heavy prison record. Possibly the best part of the entire story was the fact that she knew the entire time of his shady business. We have always dreamt of being a mob wife, so yeah, we are totally jealous.
6. Lea Hates the Housewives
Andy Cohen asked one truly brave question to Lea Black: "Do you think this show represents Miami well?" Without skipping a beat, she said and we quote, "Um.... no." She's fine with Joanna, we suppose, but she is really over the rest of these bitches -- especially disliking Ms. Marysol who she called "desperate" multiple, multiple times.