The Ten Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend
Meow listen up, everybody. You may think you're enjoying your last stress-free moments before the holidays. You may think you're doing the responsible thing, resting up before Art Basel rears its expertly curated head. You may think you can just sit on your couch all weekend watching Scandal on Hulu.
You know you can't compete with this.
But you know who disagrees? Cats.
Face it: cats are the only species who make lazy look good. It's why they're so popular out here on the Interwebs; all laptop junkies secretly aspire to a life of sprawling out in a sun-patch while some moron makes us famous by Instagramming our every move.
But humans aren't cats. Trying to pretend otherwise will only incur their feline wrath. And lord knows you don't want to do that -- especially not now, with their annual conference just months away. So get off that couch, put on some pants for crissakes, and get out there this weekend. The cats of the world would thank you, except that they're asshole cats who DGAF.
Secret Celluloid Society: Freaky films in a vintage setting. Tonight's offering? Phantom of the Paradise, paired with Blue Starlite's new, adorable concessions trailer. Zooey Deschanel would be proud ... and then terrified.
NASCAR Ford Championship Weekend: It's the one time of year you can still break out that "Git R Dun" trucker cap.
Borgore: Any friend of twerking is a friend of yours.
3500 Main Highway, Miami, FL
1 Speedway Blvd., Homestead, FL
1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, FL
10730 NW 25th St., Doral, FL
2269 NW 199th St., Miami Gardens, FL
504 NE 190th St., North Miami Beach, FL
300 NE 2nd Ave., Miami, FL