Why Miami Christmas Is the Worst Christmas

Categories: Lists

lights-on-palm-tree-small.jpg
Via 9gag.com
It's 85 degrees outside. The sun won't stop shining. You can't wear anything heavier than a sleeveless tee, and you're sweating balls, as usual.

For folks in the Northeast, this might sound like a little piece of paradise. For many in South Florida, however, this shit is getting old. How the hell can you celebrate Christmas when the temperature refuses to dip below 80?

The incessantly warm weather is just one of the many reasons the 305 might be the world's worst place to celebrate Christmas. The full list is after the jump.

See also: The Biltmore Will Open Its Ballroom to Cats and Dogs for Christmas

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Judy Baxter Flickr/cc
10. The heat. No, we're not talking about the team.
It's so. Damn. Hot. The heat and humidity are never going to end. It's barely cooled off at all this year, and Christmas is right around the corner. It's hard to sing "White Christmas" when sweat is dripping down your back. If nothing else, at least you can turn your A/C up to force a faux chill.

girls-dancing.jpg
Photo by Liliana Mora
9. Naughty folks.
There are so many South Floridians bound to make the naughty list, we're pretty sure Santa crossed Miami off his list a long, long time ago.


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33 comments
boogieboogie
boogieboogie

Christ was born in a hot desert surrounded by palm trees. Miami is pretty closer to Christ-mas if you ask me.

tr59280
tr59280

This article is stupid. I get the whole its hot as balls thing but who ever wrote this is obviously not a native. you want to see decked out houses? go to coral gables or down south to country walk where families compete to see who has the most christmas spirit in the neighborhood. Miserable shoppers?? Uhhhh name a place in the world where people are happy to shop during this time of year. I was born and raised in Miami and am currently living in Spain... In the cold and snow... This shit sucks. I wouldn't trade a Miami Christmas for anything in the world. Christmas isn't about any of the things described in this article. Christmas is where your family and loved ones are. If you hate it so much, you're not forced to stay... Leave!!

Jj Hack Diaz
Jj Hack Diaz

The picture says it all. Have a SPURTING X-MAS, MIAMI STYLE! CUM ONE, CUM ALL!!!

D.f. Basora
D.f. Basora

Bottom line: don't like Xmas here? Go elsewhere. Can't go elsewhere? Deal. Be glad you're alive and proceed accordingly

Patricia Jones
Patricia Jones

Christmas in Miami all my life and wouldn't change it.

Aylsa Smith
Aylsa Smith

This how i love it begin nude all day to feel my body.its enjoy our sunny days gals

Estrella Malca
Estrella Malca

I think you need a vacation out of Miami my dear! We all need it once in a while, but if this is home for you (or home for right now), try to enjoy our beautiful blue sky and seascape! Have you looked outside today!? its BEAUTIFUL!

Juan R. Pollo
Juan R. Pollo

Works for me, just like the Christmases I grew up with in Cuba!

robert.n.nielsen
robert.n.nielsen topcommenter

it sucks just as bad up north. spend the first 20 some years of your life in NY/NJ/PA/MA surrounded by a shitty slushy ice/rain mix and a bunch of italians who smell like garlic and snot nosed rich kids and you will hate that  xmas too!

j.pollo
j.pollo

Aren't those really the reasons why Miami has the best Christmas?

Frank Castle
Frank Castle

x-mas in miami sucks, no snow, there is no x-mas spirit...lights on a palm tree looks good to me

Mike Montero
Mike Montero

I was on the sand of Miami Beach at midnight & in sandals/shorts last night, I'd say Xmas in Miami is unbeatable.

Miguel Angel Gonzalez Cañas
Miguel Angel Gonzalez Cañas

Miami is amazing! Alway remember xmas is not only celebrated in the usa... All of the countries in the souther hemisphere also celebebrate in hot weather. There is Summer.

Jorge Larrea
Jorge Larrea

To whoever wrote this: Fuck you, leave. No one is asking or begging for you to stay in Miami.

Elsa Jimenez
Elsa Jimenez

People these articles are written as a fun way to have a discussion. Stop bei ng such little bitches

Chris Anthony
Chris Anthony

a palm tree is just tacky, but those who have never been elsewhere would not know any better!!!

Alex Wall
Alex Wall

Totally disagree. Lights on a palm tree can be tasteful and quirky.

Michael Cedeno
Michael Cedeno

Should have made the lights on the leaves white.

Xaviant Haze
Xaviant Haze

Lol yes Christmas in Miami is pretty damn funny...

Chris Schaaff
Chris Schaaff

Who gives a fuck? No snow, people complain. Tons of snow, people complain. Too hot, too cold,etc... Who cares? I'd be happy just to be around my family and friends. ..

Lee Glick
Lee Glick

I cant stand how people put boots on when the temp drops to 75 degrees for the high. I mean cmon.

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