Miami Named the Fourth Most Romantic City in the U.S., Somehow

Categories: Culture

miami_skyline_kiss_credit_tanjila_flickr.jpg
Tanjila/Flickr
You can say a lot of things about Miami. It's hot. It's corrupt. It's diverse. Hell, it's so real it's frustrating. But there's one thing most locals agree upon: It's not an ideal place to find or fuel a romantic relationship.

Amazon.com, however, begs to differ. It recently ranked Miami fourth on its list "The 20 Most Romantic Cities in America." Wait, what?

Miami came in just under Knoxville, Tennessee, and just above Alexandria, Virginia, on Amazon's list this year, which would seem to indicate it ranked somewhere in the lower 30s or 40s, max. But nope. According to Amazon's criteria, which is based mainly on the "sexiness" of the products people in the area purchase from Amazon.com, Miami is really feeling the love.

The result is a list that few people would swoon over. Leading the pack is San Antonio, Texas, followed by Seattle, Washington. Other "romantic" metropolises include Dayton, Ohio; Sioux Falls, South Dakota; and Erie, Pennsylvania.

A brief aside: I have actually spent time in Sioux Falls. I was even there with my husband. My most memorable experience in that town was being painfully bitten by mosquitoes the size of golf balls during a cheesy, low-budget laser show detailing the town's history. I felt ill and lightheaded from the bites, and my entire body itched for weeks. This was not as romantic as you might imagine.

Miami is no romance capital -- this is, after all, the city named the most overrated and most superficial in America -- but it sure beats Sioux Falls in the romance department any day.

I hate to break it to Amazon, but this is not a list of "most romantic" cities. This is a list of cities most in need of romance. According to Time:

Amazon looked at cities with more than 100,000 residents and compiled data on the romantic products they bought, including romance novels and relationship books, romantic comedy movies, romantic music, as well as sales of sexual wellness products.

See? That explains it. The residents of these towns have turned to Amazon to supplement the romance they're lacking in their native environments. The itchy, romanceless residents of Sioux Falls (and Erie and San Antonio) could probably use a trip to Miami's sexy beaches.

This theory also explains how Miami ended up in the ranking. Miami is almost certainly not leading the nation in sales of romance novels, but "sexual wellness products"? In a city ranked "most attractive," that sounds about right.

If you happen to be looking for love in the Magic City, the Greater Miami Convention & Visitors Bureau is pushing its Miami Romance Month promotion.

Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.

Send your story tips to Cultist at cultist@miaminewtimes.com.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.


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61 comments
Haychell Pardo
Haychell Pardo

To outsiders, I'm sure it is. And for locals, I think it could be as well. They just have to know where to look.

Dana Hatred
Dana Hatred

Only if you find narcissism romantic...

Heather Rogerson
Heather Rogerson

For the tourists I'm sure it is. Miami Beach , thd ocean, clubs, restaurants, and no work . Miami does include all of Dade. Come on over to Hialeah Liberty City, Miami Lakes , Kendall , Pinecrest, Homestead....not romantic lol

David Oves
David Oves

This is based off on the cities that have purchased more relationship help books, romance novels, and sex toys....hello? This lets you know that when you meet your partner you have expectations of them being just as good and romantic as your sex toy....and if things don't work out, there's always a book to read...this should be the loneliest of cities

Jose Lopez
Jose Lopez

No Sadly far from it. Most girls want Rich guys,everbody's shallow. so no.

Nigel Nmnm
Nigel Nmnm

Miami is romantic, in the same way a Craigslist ad is romantic.

Marco Alessio Di Giovanni
Marco Alessio Di Giovanni

I like how even a news entity based in Miami ends this with "somehow..." I know, I'm a Miami resident myself and I don't believe it either

Diana Lubbe
Diana Lubbe

Miami is amazing... the city that never sleeps :)

Carlos Orizondo
Carlos Orizondo

Ahora ya se por que mi primo Armando decidio vivir en Miami!!

Najsoj Osnola
Najsoj Osnola

so amazon.com came to this conclusion based on the purchases of people from this city....what a crock of shit lol

Najsoj Osnola
Najsoj Osnola

there is nothing romantic about this shit hole of a city

Roxana Gosney
Roxana Gosney

Sure I meet all my snowbirds boyfriends there while I was single!!!

Liz Turcotte
Liz Turcotte

LMFAO!! Paid Romance maybe - Raul Peña can't wait to get all mushy in march smh ;)

Rod Deal
Rod Deal

Miami is a romantic place, yes.

Roberto Alba-Bustamante
Roberto Alba-Bustamante

I live in D.C. now, but all of my best romantic experiences have been in Miami. We hate South Florida while we live there - but once you leave you realize how good you had it. Perspective my fellow Miamians. Perspective.

MyCole Knight
MyCole Knight

You'll always find romance on 8th Street or Okeechobee Rd.

John Lara
John Lara

its romantic for fourteen year olds

Tania Marie Machin
Tania Marie Machin

Puh-lease!! Most romantic!?!? LOL Where are all these romantic ppl at??

Beth Jones Kapp
Beth Jones Kapp

I think Amazon's working with the airlines trying to get people down there

Jeffrey Adams
Jeffrey Adams

Hell yes! Sunrise on south beach, vizcaya afternoons, little Havana cafes and blue martini after dark? Of course!

Brandon Agosto
Brandon Agosto

San Antonio and Miami lol that list is ridiculous

Aspen Giles
Aspen Giles

the Magic city absolutely is and MCP captures the best photos!

Aspen Giles
Aspen Giles

Sasha let me answer your question because the people who write it aren't from here, and probably don't love the city!

Jose Miguel Vera
Jose Miguel Vera

It has the potential to. All the partying a superficiality aside, it's a beautiful city

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