Ten Best Valentine's Day 2014 Events in Miami
Listen up, Miami lovers: Valentine's Day is right around the corner.
As much as you might hate a holiday built upon unrealistic expectations and Hallmark revenues, one thing is certain: if there's a special someone in your life, and you'd like to keep it that way, you'd damn well better be prepared to participate.
We're here to help with this list of Valentine's Day events around town. Now get out there and get your love on.
10. Sex and the Animals
Valentine's Day events usually focus on the sappy side of love, but Rob Magill knows that you and me, baby, aren't nothing but mammals. So he's brought his "Sex and the Animals" presentation to Zoo Miami to remind us why all this nonsense exists in the first place: to get it on. This isn't your standard lecture; expect to laugh out loud as you learn about how different animal species hook up. And then take your date home and show off your own animal magnetism.
7 p.m. wine and cheese reception; talk starts at 8 p.m. at Zoo Miami. Tickets cost $30-$85. Visit zoomiami.org.
9. Viva Paris International Show
Ah Paris. The city of light. The city of love. Ooh la la, and all that stuff. Your budget probably can't support a trip for two to the Eiffel Tower, but there's a little slice of French romance headed to South Beach in time for Valentine's Day: the Viva Paris International Show, a cabaret experience straight out of Moulin Rouge. Its variety acts include feather girls, can-can dancers, singing and acting sketches, and plenty of other Francophile treats. C'est magnifique.
9 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. at the Colony Theater. Tickets cost $35. Visit vivaparisshow.com.