Ten Best Valentine's Day 2014 Events in Miami

Categories: Around Town

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karen horton/Flickr
Listen up, Miami lovers: Valentine's Day is right around the corner.

As much as you might hate a holiday built upon unrealistic expectations and Hallmark revenues, one thing is certain: if there's a special someone in your life, and you'd like to keep it that way, you'd damn well better be prepared to participate.

We're here to help with this list of Valentine's Day events around town. Now get out there and get your love on.

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via miamimetrozoo.com
10. Sex and the Animals
Valentine's Day events usually focus on the sappy side of love, but Rob Magill knows that you and me, baby, aren't nothing but mammals. So he's brought his "Sex and the Animals" presentation to Zoo Miami to remind us why all this nonsense exists in the first place: to get it on. This isn't your standard lecture; expect to laugh out loud as you learn about how different animal species hook up. And then take your date home and show off your own animal magnetism.

7 p.m. wine and cheese reception; talk starts at 8 p.m. at Zoo Miami. Tickets cost $30-$85. Visit zoomiami.org.

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9. Viva Paris International Show
Ah Paris. The city of light. The city of love. Ooh la la, and all that stuff. Your budget probably can't support a trip for two to the Eiffel Tower, but there's a little slice of French romance headed to South Beach in time for Valentine's Day: the Viva Paris International Show, a cabaret experience straight out of Moulin Rouge. Its variety acts include feather girls, can-can dancers, singing and acting sketches, and plenty of other Francophile treats. C'est magnifique.

9 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. at the Colony Theater. Tickets cost $35. Visit vivaparisshow.com.


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18 comments
Gary Fonseca
Gary Fonseca

Handmade Ceramic Roses for Valentine's Day. No better way to show your love than with a Forever Rose. Get your Valentine a rose that lasts forever! These one of a kind items take hundreds of hours to create and each is unique and one of a kind. There are no molds that are used for the roses, each one is made by hand and crafted with much love and care by local Miami, FL. & Bakehouse Art Complex resident artist Gary Fonseca Two dollars from every rose sold will be donated to St. Jude's Children Hospital. Thank you for your support. http://www.ebay.com/itm/Ceramic-Love-Rose-Ceramic-Rose-Handmade-Rose-Valentines-Day-Gifts-/281257864689?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item417c466df1

Orduz Richi
Orduz Richi

Where to go? WhT do you recommend? Thank you

Brittany Janes
Brittany Janes

Clearly you have ruined everyone's plans, as everyone was planning on watching YouPorn. Another fail Miami New Times

Alba Lu
Alba Lu

Sheila Lilybeth Cordova I'll buy ya diamonds from the next paycheck babes, just for ya' ya know you deserve that. I work all day at meat factory for you~

Mario Diaz
Mario Diaz

LMAO, damn! Ruined my plans hahaaha

Julia McIntyre
Julia McIntyre

Do you see this, Mike Ramirez? YouPorn DOESNT COUNT!!!

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