Miami Men Review European Men's Fashion: "I Don't Know. I Don't Like It."
According to the magazine Lifestyle Mirror, this year our Magic City was ranked the fifth most fashionable city in the United States. It's plain to see that for the mamis of our perpetual summer hotspot, fashion is everything. But what about the men of the 305? Does runway resonate the same for them as it does our ladies? Or is it simply a glut of unachievable cosplay, meant to be left on the cold planks of the runway?
In view of recent Men's Fashion Week festivities in Milan, Paris, and London, we were curious to know if the papis of our supposed fashion hub would, too, covet the looks that strode down the runways of arguably the biggest fashion mavericks in the game come next spring. So we took to Lincoln Road to investigate just how far our male partisans are willing to go with fashion. Would they have big enough cojones to rock a pair of illustriously baggy, metallic, khaki Versace trousers, roomy enough to nest the whole entire House of Versace? Or are such pieces - as the great André Leon Talley put it - too "gauche" to cull some lovin' from our guys?
To put it bluntly: are the men of Miami ready to accept high fashion in their every-day-routine or not?
Eight images/videos from some of the most flagrant runways of the season were selected to either stifle or appease our test subjects. Here's what the average male specimen of Miami had to say about them. Brace yourselves.
Side note: As we conducted these interviews (or tried to), we were shot down countless times and were refused quotes pertaining to the forenamed subject matter, treated like straight-up fashion solicitors. Evidently, the topic of fashion is more sensitive than we thought for men. Luckily, we were able to wrangle up a few candidates to participate in our round of testings.
We first started our guys off with some training wheels, care of Kris Van Assche's Spring 2015 collection, flaunting boxy suits done in basic primary colors, yet decorated with salient-as-shit prints -- perhaps the most modest of the bunch.
But when our initial subject - a bruiting, young, hyper-masculine Mike DeStefano - didn't think he'd have much to offer. When we asked if he'd talk to us about fashion, he responded, "Well, we're straight."
Our comeback: "Do you not wear clothes?"
"Good rebuttal," said DeStefano's wingman of the day, Aline Navarro, who would, in turn, be answering all the hard-hitting questions for the "unassuming" look.
"No," was the immediate response out of Navarro's mouth upon the sight of Van Assche's unconventional take on the otherwise modern-day suit, equipped with what appeared to be a busy, white-toothpick print (0:44 in the video). "I don't like whatever these hash-marks are, and I have broad shoulders; I can't wear that European cut."
DeStefano couldn't help but to jump into the discussion. "What is this guy? Fuckin' 90 pounds? Really? Really?"
"It's like you're trying to do too much," Navarro adds. "But that's runway; that's what they're supposed to do, right?"
Stamp of Approval: Denied.