Million Dollar Listing Miami, Episode Two: A Tour of Miami's Butts and Breasts
Samantha DeBianchi is Million Dollar Listing's first female castmember. That's strange, right? That between three separate reality TV franchises on a very feminine-leaning network, there's only one woman you can count on seeing on your screen each week?
MDL Miami's second episode sheds a little light on why that might be: It's hard to be a professional woman in a man's industry in real life, and it's even harder to do on Bravo. Just ask Sam, who in last night's episode alone gets both professionally and literally manhandled by her colleagues; blatantly objectified by a fellow castmate and the show's film editors; and devastatingly undermined by her friend and listing partner Rachel. You've come a long way ... maybe?
In the series premiere last week, Sam got pressured into selling a penthouse owned by developer Gil Dezer at the crazy-high price of $8.9 million, with a 30-day deadline. Now, the clock's ticking down to the wire, and Sam's getting nowhere. Maybe part of the problem is that she's trying to conduct business while sitting at an outdoor cafe next to the beach and a busy roadway? No, it's the price; her listing partner and friend Rachel can't get any bites on the place either. This is not going to end well.
Chad, meanwhile, tells us he's "always pushing myself to do better." Literally --he's doing his daily push-ups on the balcony. Bravo-watching ladies be like, "Here's how you can do this better: with your shirt off."
Chad has set up another "house party" at his listing on Palm Island after co-owner and co-agent Stacey cancelled the first one. But his definition of "house party" and yours might differ. The average person might imagine a group of friends drinking a couple bottles of wine over Cards Against Humanity. Chad's house party involves topless dancers from Mansion nightclub, grinding the night away in pasties while standing on pedestals surrounding the home's pool.
Sam's not impressed by all the "butts and breasts" greeting potential buyers on their way in the door. "They're dancers!" Chad protests. "At what type of club?" Sam snarks back. Chad tries to pretend using naked chicks to sell things is "creative"; Sam, like any rational person, is not having it. So Chad responds by vaguely implying that Sam should show a little skin to make more sales. That's right, ladies -- if you're feeling constrained by the glass ceiling, why not try pushing your boobs up against it?
Chris, meanwhile, is in a far away land called Boca Raton, frolicking with horses. No, seriously. He's meeting fellow agent Senada at a frou-frou polo match to discuss -- what else? -- a high-end oceanfront penthouse. He really and truly makes his pitch to her as they're stomping the divots. Oh Chrissy, you so fancy.
Too fancy for Boca, it turns out. Senada agrees to share the listing with Chris, and when they meet to tour the penthouse, Chris is in love. There's a ridiculous marble bathtub, and when 16-baths-a-day Chris sees it for the first time, the look on his face is so tender and awestruck you honestly think he might shed a tear. But later, Senada insists on selling for $13.9 million, far below Chris' dream price of $20 million. Then she decides the open house should involve a bikini contest. We get it, Bravo: TITS SELL.