"Selfie Toaster" Lets You Eat Yourself

Categories: Culture

selfie_toast_credit_windell_oskay.jpg
Windell Oskay/Flickr
This toast was created by an artist. Selfie Toast can be created by you.
Remember when a piece of toast that vaguely resembled the Virgin Mary sold on eBay for $28,000? Here's some news that might make you nostagic for those days: A company in Vermont is selling personalized toaster that'll burn your selfie into a piece of bread.

That means it's only a matter of time before one of your friends "ironically" orders one. This is, after all, the city that set a Guinness World Record for selfies just a few short months ago.

See also: Miami Breaks the Guinness World Record of Most Selfies Taken in One Hour

Burnt Impressions, the company selling the toasters, was essentially born out of WTF news stories like the Virgin Mary toast -- they sell a toaster that'll create your own Virgin Mary replica. They also sell "Jesus toasters" and "rapture toasters" that depict souls floating up to heaven.

Now, they've moved on to a theme that everyone can find offensive, regardless of religion: selfies.

"You don't have to be famous or Jesus to have your face on toast!" the website exclaims. "Give us a high rez [sic] photo of a face or pet and let our toast engineers create fun breakfast memories!"

In a way, putting your photo on food is the logical conclusion of selfie culture; devouring yourself is the ultimate expression of both the narcissism and self-loathing that accompany each self-taken snapshot.

But eating your pets? That's messed up, bro.

The selfie toaster sells for $75. For that price, selfie savants, you better love charred bread as much as you love, well, yourself.

Send your story tips to Cultist at cultist@miaminewtimes.com.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

My Voice Nation Help
12 comments
Cary Gonzalez
Cary Gonzalez

If I could eat myself, I'd rule the world.....

Ciara1
Ciara1 moderator editor

You are, of course, correct. That is literally the dumbest mistake I've made all day.

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Clubs

Loading...