Dallas Observer

The ultimate kiss ass.

​The Miami Heat's epic collapse against the Dallas Mavericks in the NBA Finals earlier this month still stings. But the pain has been assuaged a bit by the way Dallas Mavericks' owner Mark Cuban, some of his players, and especially fans have acted since winning the title. If you can tell a lot about people when they are facing adversity, you can tell just as much about them when they have ultimate success.

This point was made crystal clear by ultimate Mavs fan Derek "Dildo" Dilday who adorned his rump with a large Dirk Nowitzki tattoo. Let that sink in a moment. According to our step-sister paper the Dallas Observer, Dilday got the tattoo because he promised as much on Facebook when the Mavs made it to the finals. Let that sink in also. We're all for Mavs fans making asses of themselves, but this may be taking it too far. Shouldn't someone have told him he should abstain from staining his ass? Here are six reasons we could think of:More >>

Photos by Logan Fazio

​This weekend, the Hyatt Regency will be filled with people who penetrate others for money. We're talking needles here, and no it's not a methadone convention. It's TattooLaPaLooza, the third annual tats expo where those that ink and those who love to get inked congregate to bleed and show off calf tats of Jesus.

So bring your pictures of Ben Bernanke or Ned Stark or whoever's portrait you want etched on your upper thigh. Some of the country's best ink heads will be pushing needle into flesh in the name of art this weekend. To those who faint or upchuck at the sight of crimson blood, beware. Last year, TattooLaPaLooza featured folks strapped up like meat on hooks at the butcher. As supple skin is no match for gravity, things got a little gross. Pictures after the jump.More >>

​The Hangover II opened this week despite a lawsuit from retired boxer Mike Tyson's tattoo artist on the grounds that the tat's inclusion in the film constitutes copyright infringement. The tribal style ink is featured on the face of Ed Helms who, along with Bradley Cooper and Zach Galifinakis, must retrace his steps through a completely bizarre, blacked-out night on the town.

The artist, S. Victor Whitmill, believes he should be compensated, while the filmmakers claim their depiction of the tattoo falls under fair use laws regarding parody. Cultist wants to know: Who's right?More >>

Courtesy of Sean Ashworth

​Images from the free tattoo parlor at Small Art Miami (AKA the Hello Kitty Basel pop-up shop) keep rolling in. Here's Dokidoki Burger, the fresh tatt of Sean Ashworth. By the second day of the pop-up shop, it was no small chore to get one of the Sanrio tattoos. Ashworth and his friends had to get there before it opened, put their names on the list, and then didn't get under the needle until 5 p.m.

He says "The artist, Grant Cobb, worked super fast and finished my tattoo in about an hour. He did a great job and it's healing nicely. The whole day was awesome, being there with friends, seeing the artwork, the Harajuku girls, the tattoos. A day to remember, for sure." Last week, we featured a Lanrey the raccoon tattoo. Anyone else get inked with a Hello Kitty character? Send photos to cultist@miaminewtimes.com, and we'll feature the best.

Courtesy of Bryan Barcena

Lanrey, the Sanrio racoon. Freshly inked at Small Art Miami.

​In the words of Sailor Jerry, cheap work ain't good and good work ain't cheap. So you could be excused for feeling sheepish about the caliber of work coming out of the free Sanrio tattoo parlor, which opened at Small Art Miami yesterday. But one of our writers sent in a photo of the tattoo he got on his leg last night, and it's pretty cute. He says he thinks it's Lanrey the raccoon. Anyone else get inked with a Hello Kitty character? Send photos to cultist@miaminewtimes.com, and we'll feature the best. Get your own free Sanrio tattoos through Sunday.

Tess Adamski's Kerouac tattoo by Thor at Yonge Street Tattoos

​With the Miami Book Fair within reach and fresh off being named the ninth dumbest city in America, we feel compelled to wear our literacy on our sleeves -- as in shoulder to elbow ink. In case you haven't noticed, pop culture is riding a wave of lit tattoos, and one Miami-born author has compiled the best of the best in The Word Made Flesh: Literary Tattoos from Bookworms Worldwide, published just last month.

Among the 150 designs, there's everything from Harry Potter spells on pale wrists ("Lumos") to Samuel Becket on biceps ("I can't go on, I'll go on"). There's even a guy with a full Theodor Adorno essay on his back (photo after the jump) who tells the authors "I'm always shocked at how few people make themselves into a lifelong monument to their favorite prose or verse." We spoke to Talmadge about the lit tattoo trend and her childhood in Coral Gables. We also snagged some great photos from the collection. Have a lit tattoo yourself? We'd like to see it.
More >>

via facebook

CJay can give you a funky six pack.

​The human body is his canvas, but he's no tattoo artist -- anymore. His work is more temporary, elusive. He is CJay, one of the most prominent body painters in Miami, if not the top airbrusher around. Born and raised in the Bronx, CJay moved to Miami 12 years ago but his art still retains the distinctive old-school New York feel. In case there was any doubt to his origins, the graffiti styled tattoo of his name crawling up his arm is a constant reminder of where he came from.

CJay invited Cultist to his studio where all the magic happens for a little chat. Like many artists, CJay has a slight attention deficit disorder. He spent much of the interview sitting by his computer, aimlessly sketching on his Coral Painter, and chain smoking his Marlboro Lights. Read on to see what he said in between exhales.More >>

carmedy via flckr.

Turncoat returns home to ink some books.

​No matter how big Kat Von D gets, we know she was nothing before Miami Ink. But, really, we're not bitter about her decision to go back LA. You win some (LeBron), you lose some (Von D). Actually we're happy for the tattoo queen who made it mainstream to have an Emo fetish. Heck, we even think she makes a cute couple with that lecherous, Sandra-Bullock-heart break, jerk-off Jesse James.

That's why we're stoked she'll be back in town this weekend. Ok, so it's not to make up with Miami Ink's Ami James. But who cares. She'll be signing copies of her new book The Tattoo Chronicles at 2 p.m. on Saturday at Barnes & Noble in Kendall.

Read on for more Kat Von Dirt.

More >>

​

MAC Cosmetics is known for their bold colors, haute hues, and edgy looks. Their latest Venomous Villains collection, a years-long Disney collaboration set to launch today, is no different. While most brands would choose to get their inspiration from the bright-eyed, rosy-cheeked princesses, it seems only natural that MAC would instead opt to embody the dark side of beauty with a collection inspired by Disney's most wicked leading ladies (and gentleman): Cruella de Vil, Maleficent, the Evil Queen, and Dr. Facilier. In other words, doe-eyed damsels in distress need not apply. Now, who's ready to get their mean girl on?
More >>

Chris Valdivia

Green Machine staff as zombies.

​Green Machine Tattoos is the slime-green painted shop neighboring a psychic adviser and a lingerie shop between Miami Twice and A&M Comics on Bird Road at 67th Avenue. Owner James Rossi says "The place was already green, so I figured it would be a good name, just call it Green Machine. It's catchy. And people that know me know I'm a big Eagles fan, so that had something to do with it too."

We talked to Rossi, who has a BFA, about why slinging ink beats starving as a painter. Check out some pics of Jaws finger tattoos and hear why Green Machine won't ink $20 names.
More >>