via Macy's

Despite what Macy's Black Friday commercial has led you to believe, Justin Bieber will not be at your local Macy's winking and smiling on the unholiest of shopping days.

Prepare yourself for antsy, kinda mobbish crowds still bloated from Thanksgiving dinner, and beware of shoppers carrying hammers, or knives. It happens. Black Friday has started to resemble the Rolling Stones concert at Altamont where one guy was stabbed to death.

No Black Friday shopping experience is as serene and mellow as those commercials would like you to think. Wherever you go, from Best Buy to Target, even Juicy Couture -- where there's this totally killer deal on a velour track suit that comes in, like, five colors -- there will be chaos. Doesn't that just make you want to do this:

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Photo by Alan Light

"I have it all!"

To honor the holidays, to gloat about how superior she is to everyone else, or in a display of early onset dimentia, Oprah has once again compiled a list of her favorite things -- things normal people like her simply cannot love without.

According to Oprah, she "picked and planned, tasted and touched, sniffed and snuggled" through a whole pile of questionably useful, outrageously priced items to compile this list for us. Hey, flipping through catalogs is hard work, but somebody's gotta do it.

Here's a gold-plated, truffle-scented taste of what Oprah has declared worthy of America's Christmas lists. (Pro tip: Pop your Xanax now.)

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Disgusting is a new video series in which interviewing is only half the fun (trying not to vomit is the other). All interviews take place in a disgusting, Miami environment from public bathrooms to the underbelly of urban living.

Today on Disgusting, comedian Forrest Shaw, director of O Miami P. Scott Cunningham, and comedian John Wynn join your host, Jessica Gross, a comedian and writer who is out to put fellow Miamians through rough interview situations while trying not to puke on her dress. For our last episode of the series, it comes down to a veggie hot dog eating contest. It's all quite horrifying. More »

​Disgusting is a new video series in which interviewing is only half the fun (trying not to vomit is the other). All interviews take place in a disgusting, Miami environment from public bathrooms to the underbelly of urban living.

Today on Disgusting, Director and Choreographer Yara Travieso joins your host, writer and comedian Jessica Gross, inside a dirty motel room to uncover the filthy truth of what's living in those disgusting sheets. Nasty!

Check out the full episode after the jump.

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​​Disgusting is a new video series in which interviewing is only half the fun (trying not to vomit is the other). All interviews take place in a disgusting, Miami environment from public bathrooms to the underbelly of urban living.

Today on Disgusting, writer Nathaniel Sandler, co-founder of Allography.com, joins your host, Jessica Gross, a comedian and writer who is out to put fellow Miamians through rough interview situations while trying not to puke on her dress. They're in a port-a-potty. It's all quite horrifying. Enjoy!

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Disgusting is a new video series in which interviewing is only half the fun (trying not to vomit is the other). All interviews take place in a disgusting, Miami environment from public bathrooms to the underbelly of urban living.

The below episode features writer Liz Tracy, founder of The Heat Lightning.com. The host, Jessica Gross, is a comedian and writer who is out to put fellow Miamians through rough interview situations while trying not to puke on her dress. More »

​That's Disgusting is a new video series in which interviewing is only half the fun (trying not to vomit is the other). All interviews take place in a disgusting, Miami environment from public bathrooms to the underbelly of urban living.

The below episode features comedian Johnny Trabs, one half of the sketch comedy duo, Pair of Nuts. The host, Jessica Gross, is a comedian and writer who is out to put fellow Miamians through rough interview situations while trying not to puke on her dress.More »

Dave Williamson and Jessica Gross try not to puke while talking about comedy.

​That's Disgusting is a new video series in which interviewing is only half the fun (trying not to vomit is the other). All interviews take place in a disgusting, Miami environment from public bathrooms to the underbelly of urban living.

The below episode features comedian Dave Williamson, whose humor centralizes mostly on the hijinx of his childhood, his colorful college experience, and his continuing journey into young adulthood as a husband and father. The host, Jessica Gross, is a comedian and writer who is out to put fellow Miamians through rough interview situations while trying not to puke on her dress.

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