The Ten Best Things About Santa's Enchanted Forest

Categories: Culture, Lists

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By force of copyright, "the most magical place on Earth" can only describe Walt Disney theme parks, but the most magically-Miami place on Earth is without a doubt Santa's Enchanted Forest.

If you're really from South Florida, you've got a story. Either you grew up taking in the lights and free rides, or you grow up and wander in with some friend who can't believe you've never been there before, only to discover that the most deliciously-ratchet children's park of all time is also incredibly fun for adults.

Don't believe us? Who are you? Some kind of fun mizer? Just check out all the awesome stuff Santa's has in store.

See also: Eight Best Places to Go Stoned in Miami

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The Ten Best Things to Do at Miami Book Fair International

Categories: Lists, Literary

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via UM Quidditch on Facebook
It's the most wonderful time of the year for book nerds: Christmas, Mardi Gras, and New Year's Eve rolled into one glorious week to charm and delight South Florida's bibliophiles. The Miami Book Fair International has almost arrived.

But with a massively long schedule of awesome events and only one of you (unless you've perfected cloning, in which case, we salute you), it's tough to decide what literary fetes are most deserving of your precious time.

So, to make life easier, here's our list of the top ten can't-miss book fair events. (Note: We didn't delve too far into the author readings; there are too many of those to pick from and that's a choose-your-own-adventure kind of deal.)

See also: Book Fair 2014 Includes John Waters, Questlove, Ira Glass, and More

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The Ten Best Places to Bike in Miami

Categories: Cycling, Lists

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Photo by George Martinez
It's true that Miami's affinity for two-wheeled travel pales in comparison to the likes of Portland or any European city. But local bike culture is definitely evolving, and we've got more than our fair share of spots to cycle.

With the totally fantastic weather we've been having lately, there's no better time than now to pump up those tires and wipe the dust off that helmet -- don't let the angry local drivers keep you from free-wheeling. Here are ten of South Florida's best spots to put two wheels down.

See also: Here's a Map of Where Miami's DecoBike CitiBike Stations Will Be Located

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Steve Almond's Top Ten Reasons to Say Screw the NFL

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Courtesy lanmccor on Wikimedia commons
Jadeveon Clowney goes for a sack against Justin Worley in a 2010 high school game
Steve Almond wants NFL players who smoke weed to be able to get high in peace.

The author of Against Football: One Fan's Reluctant Manifesto told us, "The NFL should shut their fucking mouths about players who wanna smoke pot. They'd rather have them all shot up on Toradol, drinking booze, and going home to beat their wives."

Almond, a lifetime football fan, now hates the league, and he thinks that you should, too. He's so sick of the corruption, greed, and violence in the sport that before his big reading at Books & Books, he's got ten reasons to say fuck the NFL.

See also: Five Books By New Times Authors Out This Summer

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The Top Five Nail Art Salons in Miami

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Photo by Nycole Sariol
There has been a shift in the nail game as of late. No longer can one rely on the generic safety of an old-fashioned French manicure, or the same color painted on all ten tips as a means of self-expression. Miami woman look beyond colored lines in search of geometric ones, and ones in the shape of Elmo, or British Flags, or maybe even Jerry Seinfeld's face. Who's judging? Whatever the wacky design of their dreams may be, the felines of our Magic City aren't settling for basic-bitch claws anymore. Because art on their nails is just as important as art on a graffiti-laden wall in Wynwood, right?

Yet despite this sweeping trend of either hand-painted nail plates or graphic wraps posing as such, for some peculiar reason, scoping out salons in the area that specialize in nail art is as difficult as stumbling across a decent paying job in Miami these days -- the struggle is real. Not to worry though, 'cause we've done the legwork for you and found a gang of trusty places around town to turn your nails from a desolate land of keratin to mini pieces of art.

Here are the best nail salons to get your nail art did.

See also: The Top Five Barber Shops in Miami

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Movoto's Clichéd Reasons For Dating a "Hialeahan" Misrepresent the City

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Photo by Ebyabe | Wikimedia Commons CC 3.0
Say what you wanna say about the City of Progress, but there's more to Hialeah than agua, fango, y factoria.

Just ask real estate site, Movoto. Last week, the realty company released, "13 Things You Need To Know About Dating Someone From Hialeah." And apparently, it's because everyone who lives in it is a passionate Cuban lover with an addiction to cafecito who can dance salsa like a pro.

Stereotypical much? While the whole point of Movoto's piece was to get non-natives to buy property in Hialeah, it only scratched the surface of what really makes the city one of the best places to live in.

But hey, at least they were completely right about one thing -- dating a Hialeahan is the best thing you can ever do for yourself.

Here are some of Movoto's gimmicky reasons for dating a Hialeahan.

See also: All 34 Cities in Miami-Dade County, Ranked From Worst to Best

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The Ten Best Halloween Couples Costumes on Lincoln Road

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Photos by George Martinez/gmartnx.com/splash
The couple that plays dress up together, stays together. Or at least that's what Lincoln Road's Halloween parade of hot people taught us.

Last night, costumes ranging from birthday suits to scary zombie get-ups could be seen stomping down the outdoor shopping area, where Miami's partiers go to show off their spookiest and sexiest creations. This year, the couples stole the show with elaborate, funny, and freaky looks. Here's a collection of our favorites.

See also: Best Halloween 2014 Costumes at Lincoln Road

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The Four Most Haunted Places in Miami

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Photo by Karli Evans
In addition to the ghosts of disillusioned Midwesterners and model rejects that roam the streets of South Beach, lots of other spooky spirits are hanging around the Magic City. Just ask Paul George, native Miamian, professor of history at Miami Dade College's Wolfson Campus, and historian at HistoryMiami.

With only a few days until Halloween, we spoke with George to get some background on the most ghastly and ghoulish haunts in our fair city.

See also: Annabelle's Tony Amendola Talks Possessed Dolls and Hauntings at the Biltmore

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The Ten Best Miami Halloween Costumes This Year

Categories: Lists

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Photo by Liam Peters
It's late October. Do you know what you're going to be for Halloween?

Don't go to the costume store and buy one of those overpriced, cheaply made atrocities. Halloween is all about getting creative and making a statement with your outfit. Besides, a lot of things have happened in Miami this year that are just begging to be commented upon with your choice of costume.

Whether you like exercising like a horse, hating on your fellow Miamians, or just love selling blow, there's a timely and locally relevant costume in our list for you.

See also: Make Your Own Halloween Costume at Little Havana's Share Squared Workspace

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Miami's Five Best Shopping Malls

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Photos by Nycole Sariol
Let's be honest: We need malls. Sure, we love our local specialty shops and value their integrity. But when it comes to quick fixes, malls are where it's at. Besides, why boutique-hop when you have everything you need all in one spot? One word: inflation -- it's a royal bitch.

With the holidays rapidly approaching, we thought it would be a nice gesture to pay tribute to Miami's best retail conglomerates, because 'tis always the season to celebrate consumerism in a city as magical as ours.

So here are Miami's five best shopping malls:

See also: The Webster Brings Chic Menswear to Bal Harbour Shops

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