Trolling the Designers at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim 2015 (Video)

We know, we know: All this Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim talk has become really out-played. One more mention of anything with the word swim as its root, and it's lights out for your sanity. But before you reach for the bottle of Skyy and firmly woven noose, we have one last missive from the tented, model-infested, bikini bash - just one - and it's a big one. We promise.

See also: Trolling the Models at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim 2015

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Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim 2015: Winners and Losers

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George Martinez/gmartnx.com
Honestly speaking, sadly, this year's Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim collections failed to tickle our fancy. Maybe the bar was set too high last year. Maybe we've come to the end of the road of conjuring up creative, new trends and stirring the pot of innovation in the swimwear department. Whatever it was, this year's MBFW Swim was seriously lacking some original ideas.

But it wasn't only the monotonous trends on repeat at the Raleigh that were worthy of some contagious yawns. From issues with fit (or lack thereof) on the runway to serious WTF moments off of it, Swim Week saw its share of low points.

But before you peg us for bitter pessimists, slamming the tried efforts of some otherwise talented designers and their teams, there were also bright moments of pride, outshining the ugly and demented.

Here are the highs and lows of MBFW Swim 2015.

See also: All our coverage from Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim 2015

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Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim Kick-Off Party Was a Total Snoozer

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Fashion Week is a momentous occasion; essentially, it's a merry-go-round of back-to-back runway shows enticing audiences with what's yet to come for the next season in major metropolises worldwide. And for anyone who cares, if just alittle, about what he or she puts on his or her back, it's kind of a big deal.

Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim is just as paramount as its bigger and older sister shows. So what if we have less fabric to work with? Swimsuits to a Miamian are what a floor length, down jacket is to a Bostonian in the middle of January - a crucial necessity.

Even more important than its runway shuffles and invite-only parties, however, is its introduction.

See also: All our coverage from Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim 2015

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The Average Girl's Guide to Swim Week: Ten Events You Can Actually Attend

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Folks in the fashion industry aren't as vain as you think. Sure, they fancy a good fashion show of bronzed beauties gliding down a white, cold runway in swimsuits baring minimal coverage -- but it's not always about envy and Lycra monokinis for them.

Sometimes, it's about what happens after the shows come to a halt. Come on, you know what we're talking about: it's the ragers, the bougie exclusivity - dammit, it's the complimentary drinks.

The parties thrown during Swim Week are on another level of epic. But sadly, to get into the majority of these events, you have to know somebody who knows somebody who knows the sister of the promoter throwing the event. In simple terms: its near impossible to squiggle you're way into one of these things.

Luckily, we've rounded up a couple of happenings just as fabulous, if not moreso, than their private party primos; some of which don't even require a swipe of a credit card or the scent of dolla-dolla bills y'all.

Here are the events during MBFW that you -- yes, you -- can get into. Have fun, you crazy kids!

See also: Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: The Seven Most Anticipated Runway Shows

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Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: The Seven Most Anticipated Runway Shows

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In Miami, creative-minded party people tend to fall into two camps: Art Baselites, and those who hold out all year long for its chicer cousin, Swim Week. This year marks the 10th year that Mercedes-Benz will hoist its tents at the Raleigh and other major hotels around South Beach to host round-the-clock runway shows of half-naked ladies in the fiercest form of swim and beachwear ever to hit the sands.

And while every brand - vets and up-and-comers alike - on this year's roster sounds peachy to watch, there are certain names in the game we would sell our first-born to see. (Or at least lend him out for a couple days.)

Here are the runway shows during Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Swim 2015 that we can't wait to see.

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L*Space and Luli Fama at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: Mermaids at Coachella

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photos by George Martinez
Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim
Day 4: July 21, 2013
L*Space, Luli Fama
at The Raleigh Hotel
1775 Collins Ave., Miami Beach

By day four, we were pros at the game that was Swim Week. We knew that each show customarily ran up to 45 minutes late, so we didn't bother wanting to kill ourselves if we got stuck in a traffic jam or had to actually, you know, eat something. We also knew that sometimes, people who sat in the front row would leave their goody bags when the show was over, so finders keepers.

"Oh look, another Real Housewife" was the recurring theme at the tents this weekend. Our first Bravo-lebrity sighting was cool, but by day four we were nothing short of unenthused to see yet another one of The Real Housewives of Miami and the posse of photographers they attract, who always managed to get in our way when rushing from one show to the next. We also ran into Joe and Melissa Gorga of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but seeing them in person is exactly like seeing them on TV. It really bummed us out that our only celebrity sightings were not of celebrities of any real merit.

But on to what really made our last day of Swim Week special--two of the very best shows we've attended all week, and with the hottest bodies to boot.

See also:
- Full coverage of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim
- More photos from Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim

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Aqua Di Lara at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: Bold Cutouts and Bo Derek Braids

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photos by George Martinez
Tensions were running high at the Aqua Di Lara show at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim last weekend. After several days battling high humidity and the constant stress of navigating through sand in heels, attendees and event staff alike were getting a little snippy with each other.

But just like we were able to shake off our goose bumps at Nicolita, we were able to shake off the bad vibes to appreciate designer Reyhan Sofraci's 2014 immensely likable swimsuit collection.

See also:
- Full coverage of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim
- More photos from Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim

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Nicolita at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: The Search For the Perfect Booty

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photos by George Martinez
As we entered Cabaña Grande for the Nicolita show, we felt like models on the set of a photo shoot as our hair blew around like a bonafide diva. Apparently, organizers got the memo that everyone was miserably hot yesterday. The air-conditioning was set on full blast, and not only did it make up for yesterday's steam room nightmare, but we got a welcome reminder of what goosebumps feel like.

Luckily, the shoulder-shaking beats of Celia Cruz' Quimbara Quimbara helped us shake them off. It was also a good thing that the people-watching was half-way decent. With Ms. Florida parading around in her satin sash and the Real Housewives of Miami's Alexia Echevarria and Marisol Patton looking oh so fabulous, it helped to distract us from the fact that the show was running nearly 40 minutes late.

See also:
- Full coverage of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim
- More photos from Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim

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Mara Hoffman and CM Cia.Maritima at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: From India to Disco

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photos by George Martinez
Behind the scenes at Mara Hoffman.
Surviving Swim Week is all about knowing how to conquer the elements, so as day three rolled along, we thought we were ready: hydrated, well rested and decked out in breathable cotton. This is survival of the fittest, after all. By the last show of the evening, Cia.Marítima, stragglers were stumbling in, half intoxicated, half exhausted.

Still, despite the humidity factor and the show delays, things were running like a well-oiled machine. And as writers rushed into The Restaurant Michael Schwartz for a quick bite between shows and Real Housewives cut the pleebs in line, we got it: This hurried feeling is part of the adrenaline rush that's typical of Fashion Week in Miami. And as New Yorkers and non-natives learn to love Miami time, we're starting to realize we're all in this five-day rat race together.

See also:
- Full coverage of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim
- More photos from Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim

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Suboo at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: Simple, Serene Scuba Gear

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photos by George Martinez
Wearing a long-sleeve dress and wedges wasn't the brightest idea on day one of Swim Week--or day three, four, five, or hell, any day of the year in Miami for that matter. With 85% humidity, even at night, we daydreamed about joining a nudist colony.

Needless to say, we learned our lesson--never, ever leave home without an electric hand fan, kids.

Waiting in the long lines to get into the tents, suppressing our urge to trip the many people trying to cut in front of us, is an annual tradition at Fashion Week. Fortunately, overhearing out-of-towners say things like "Are we in South Beach? George told us to take lots of pictures if we go to South Beach, but I have no idea where we are," made us chuckle and helped to lighten our mood. Sort of.

See also: Swim Week 2014 at the Raleigh, Day One (Photos)

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