Not Ready for Primetime at New Theatre Is a Fail

Categories: Theater

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Photo by Eileen Suarez
The cast of Not Ready for Primetime.
One of the first lines in Not Ready for Primetime, a patchy chronicle of the tumultuous inception of Saturday Night Live, is a pithy mission statement delivered by its creator, Lorne Michaels. He says his new variety show will be "absurd, young, and hip — and if you don't like it, get the fuck out of my way."

In those halcyon early days, with its cast of soon-to-be comedy icons, Saturday Night, as it was called then, was the hottest thing on television, the future of sketch comedy. But in this new play by Erik J. Rodriguez and Charles A. Sothers, currently running at New Theatre, we just have to take Lorne's word for it. The playwrights spend so much time spelunking the recesses of the Not Ready for Primetime Players' psyches that their televised genius is left unexplored, existing only in the audience's collective memory bank.

See also: Miami Marlins President David Samson to Star in New Theatre's Not Ready For Primetime

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Cocktales Comes to Miami, Shows Us a Side of Nymphomania

Categories: Theater

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Courtesy of Tjasa Ferme
Little Eve is taking a bath with her father and playing with her rubber ducky. She sees something in the water that looks odd, "Daddy, daddy, is that your rubber ducky?" she asks, eyes wide, in her baby voice.

Then she tugs on it and realizes it's attached.

"It becomes a moment of oops," explains Tjasa Ferme, actress and playwright. "After pulling it, she realizes that it's attached... And that's when he tells me it's a pipi," she says laughing as she mimics tugging at an imaginary rubber duck.

See also: The Seven Weirdest Sex Apps

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Miami Theater Takes Home Nine Awards at the 38th-Annual Carbonell Awards

Categories: Theater

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All New People took home two awards for Miami's Zoetic Stage.
It was a big night for South Florida theater as a year's worth of blood, sweat, and tears paid off at the 38th-Annual Carbonell Awards, held at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts.

All in all, Miami-Dade County ran the show with a total of nine awards, but it was Fort Lauderdale-based company Island City Stage who took home all six of its nominated categories, sweeping the ceremony. Not to worry, the Miami companies at the Zoetic Stage at the Adrienne Arsht Center and the Actor's Playhouse at the Miracle Theatre rounded out the top three.

See also: Carbonell Announces Special Awards Honorees, Musical Numbers

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Carbonell Announces Special Awards Honorees, Musical Numbers

Categories: Culture, Theater

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Cock, a GableStage production, is nominated for Best Director at the Carbonell Awards.
There's still time to get tickets to this evening's 38th annual Carbonell Awards, South Florida's celebration of the community's theatrical excellence. The ceremony will feature a multimedia tribute to the best plays of the season, a live band led by musical director Caryl Fantel, and musical performances by cast members from each of the shows nominated for Best Musical.

See also: Carbonell Awards 2014 Honors South Florida's Theatrical Best at Amaturo Theater Monday

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Clark Gable Slept Here at the Arsht Center: The Dead Gigolo Is Only the Beginning

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Photo by Justin Namon
Cast of Clark Gable Slept Here.
In Zoetic Stage's Clark Gable Slept Here, the mystery begins before the show starts. Amateur sleuths in the audience may spend the moments before the curtain drawing their own conclusions about Robert F. Wolin's lavish, symmetrical set design — a penthouse suite in a posh Hollywood hotel, its color palette a modern mix of mauves and grays. They'll note the half-finished glass of champagne — or is it vodka? — on a small table, and the worn tennis shoes incongruously resting in a jumble on a countertop. And what are those phallic objects on the upturned bed sheet? Are those dildos? Yes, yes, they are.

Then the scene goes black, and we're held in suspense no longer. When the stage lights return, a naked, good-looking corpse (Robert Johnston) lies face-down on the patterned rug, while a quivering hotel maid (Vanessa Elise) stares at the horror. She doesn't speak English, we'll soon learn, but she lacks the words in any language to describe this fine mess. Luckily, Jarrod Hilliard (Michael McKeever) does, and as he strides in, dressed to the nines in a three-piece suit and black tie, he utters one of the great first lines in recent stage history: "Well, fuck me with a spoon." Leave it to the guy who wrote the play to give himself the best dialogue.

See also: See Clark Gable Slept Here and Grab a Brew for $25 with Play and a Pint

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Carbonell Awards 2014 Honors South Florida's Theatrical Best at Amaturo Theater Monday

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The Lion in Winter, at Palm Beach Dramaworks, is nominated for eight awards, including best production of a play.
Each year, the Carbonell Awards celebrate the best and brightest of South Florida's theater industry. Though the awards recognize performances, productions, and works that moved audiences during the 2013-14 season, perhaps theaters' greatest feat was focusing our Netflix-glazed gazes on something other than a screen for an hour.

Along with New York's Drama Desk and Chicago's Joseph Jefferson Awards, the Carbonells are among the nation's senior regional arts awards and predate many others, including Washington, D.C.'s Helen Hayes Awards. The Carbonells are named after Manuel Carbonell, an internationally-renowned sculptor who designed the original solid bronze and marble trophy in 1976. Winners and nomineeds are chosen each season by volunteer panelists and judges from hundreds of shows produced on stages throughout the tri-county area.

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See Clark Gable Slept Here and Grab a Brew for $25 with Play and a Pint

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Courtesy of Arsht Center/rahaus - Justin Namon
True, $25 doesn't buy much these days. That's like 1/8th of a night out on SoBe. But thanks to Yelp, Gramps and the Adrienne Arsht Center, it'll score you a ticket to a play and a brew to boot. Sweet deal.

The latest installment of the "Play and a Pint" series gets you a ticket to Clark Gable Slept Here, plus an after-show drink at everyone's favorite Wynwood haunt, Gramps.

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GableStage's The Mountaintop Is Brilliant and Disastrous

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Photo by George Schiavone
C. Anthony Jackson and Karen Stephens in The Mountaintop.
Martin Luther King Jr.'s feet stank. At least they did April 3, 1968, in playwright Katori Hall's imagined scenario of the night before the great leader was assassinated. It makes sense. Yours might stink too after trudging back to your motel room in a torrential storm while wearing the same dress shoes you donned earlier that evening to proselytize passionately in a poorly air-conditioned Memphis church, where your words rattled the rafters with oratorical flourishes both inspiring and premonitory: "I've seen the promised land... I might not get there with you."

Nevertheless, it's unusual and refreshing to see King this way, as a human being with problems shared by most of us. We're used to seeing him as more icon than man -- a talking head on YouTube or, every third Monday of January, on CNN, where snippets of video revisit history's embodiment of nonviolence and racial harmony. In Hall's The Mountaintop, which is enjoying its South Florida premiere at GableStage, he's much more than his sound bites.

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Adrienne Arsht Center Shines Spotlight on Locals, Offers Free Passes to Miami Made Festival

Categories: Theater

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Photo by: Karime Arabia
Catch Appalachian Squall, a prohibition-era cautionary tale about love, pain, and alcoholism, Thursday.
Miami is full of grade-A artists, writers, directors, actors - all manner of creatives - and the
Adrienne Arsht Center is here to make sure you never forget it.

For the sixth year in a row, the Center celebrates locals with the Miami Made Festival, packing a whole weekend's worth of works in progress representing multiple disciplines, running Thursday through Sunday. It's never been easier to show support for your city, because the entire event is free to attend.

Seriously, you've got no excuse, and just check out all the stuff you can enjoy.


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Mastermind 2014 Finalist: Stephanie Ansin Lures Miami Back to the Theater with Original Productions and Hard Work

Categories: Theater

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Photo by: Stian Roenning
Miami New Times' Mastermind Awards honors the city's most inspiring creatives. This year, we received more than 100 submissions, which our staff narrowed to an elite group of 30, and finally, nine. We'll be profiling those finalists in the days to come. This year's three Mastermind Award winners will be announced February 27 at Artopia, our annual soiree celebrating Miami culture. For tickets and more information, visit the website.

The lights are low, the theater is silent, and footsteps echo behind the heavy curtain like firecrackers in the distance. The theater holds just one spectator: the director.

Stephanie Ansin sits behind a desk covered in pages bleeding yellow and scribbled with stage directions. As she agonizes over the show, Ansin always tries to keep one phrase in mind: "An amazing actor can overcome everything else."

Inspiring a new wave of remarkable local thespians has been Ansin's mission since she returned to Miami a decade ago and helped spark a theater renaissance in her hometown.

See also: Mastermind 2014 Finalist: Otto Von Schirach is a Weirdo, But He's Miami's Weirdo


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