X-Rated Run Rebrands, Keeps All the Balls and Whistles

Sometimes, it ain't easy being sexy. In October, organizers from the first-ever adult-themed mud run announced it would switch locations from central Florida to Virginia Key. Now, the event is tweaking its brand in an effort to foster connections with more companies, according to founder and organizer Kelly Perez.

"Because the name 'X-Rated Run' was rejected from LivingSocial and Groupon, [it] prevented us from forming partnerships with some sexual health organizations -- and based on emails received -- people assumed we were a naked run," Perez told New Times this week. "We were forced to change the 'name to 'The X Run.'"

See also: X-Rated Run Moved to Miami! Porn Stars and Mud-Wrestling Pits Coming to Virginia Key

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The Seven Weirdest Sex Apps

Sock-It lets people know when you're doing the dirty.
Apps were invented to simplify life's toughest conundrums; some help dilute our cruddy sense of direction (Google Maps); some to make reservations for brunch at Zuma seamlessly - or not (OpenTable); and some to make our loins burn with passion.

A whole techy business has emerged centered around the limbic part of the brain, aimed at awakening your inner freak. There are new apps designed with your sexual travel in mind, or sometimes, just to secure your privacy. There are cute and fun ways to dress up your Johnson, or hey, why not your unborn child? There are even helpful hints for upping your skill level between the sheets.

Of course, not all of them are really that sexy. Here are the seven weirdest sexualized wonders of the app world, from the good, to the bad, and the downright kinky.

See also: Create the Next Flappy Bird at Wyncode Boot Camp

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The Ten Guys You Meet on Tinder

Match is for desperados, eHarmony for old fogies, and Christian Mingle for closeted freaks, leading us cyber whores to the next best thing - Tinder. Meant to serve as an on-the-go service for both social and non-social single specimen, this dating app triggers and targets local hotties (and sometimes the occasional mutants) in your surrounding neighborhoods. Not only is it easy as hell to maneuver, but also fun - some would even call it sport-like, or a game perhaps. This year's Olympians can attest to that. But for the ladies new to the game, sometimes it proves challenging to weed out the weird and distinguish those worthy of that fateful right swipe, especially in our beloved Magic City.

Not to fear, gal pals. Let the below content decode the actions and words of your most common Miami male prospects. On your mark, get set, swipe.

See also: Ten Miami Guys You've Probably Dated

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X-Rated Run Moved to Miami! Porn Stars and Mud-Wrestling Pits Coming to Virginia Key

Categories: Sex/Fetish

Courtesy of X-Rated Run
In October, we told you about the X-Rated Run, a sex-positive, adults-only 5K coming to Florida. On the agenda: porn stars, pole dancing, and even sex-themed obstacles along the course, including a "climbing boob wall."

The only downside: The run was set to take place in Central Florida, far from Miami's horny athletes.

Well, cheer up, you randy runners. X-Rated Run organizers have moved the event to Virginia Key, bringing with it all the fetishy fun first advertised.

See also: X-Rated Run: A Florida 5K With Porn Stars, Pole Dancing, and a Climbing Boob Wall

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The Floppy Rooster: Your New Favorite Nude Male Strip Club (NSFW)

Categories: LGBT, Sex/Fetish

We once had a guy tell us, "You just like Magic Mike because Channing Tatum was in it." Well sir, that is true. Mr. Tatum could make a movie where he did nothing but read his mail and we would probably go see it. (Maybe even twice.) But the real basis of that movie is that girls and gays love a sexy naked man. Have the ability to dance? Well, our panties are officially in a twist.

Straight men like to think that they are the only ones getting in on the strip club action. On the contrary: if you guys are going, we (being the girl and gay community) are going too. We just aren't talking about it. You have your classics like Le Bare, which is predominantly for the bachelorette party crowd. But with it's 1980s decor and lack of full nudity, it's not ideal. Until a few months ago, you also had Swinging Richards, a strip club full of gorgeous naked gents putting the name of the club to action. But there was one issue: they frowned upon the lady kind.

But now, we have good news: The Floppy Rooster has opened in Miami for anyone and everyone looking for an au natural good time.

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Win Free Tickets to Chippendales at Mansion

Hey, girl. How you doin'? We know, we know -- it's been a long week. You deserve a treat, don't you?

The men of Chippendales sure do think so.

The strippers have brought their body oil and tear-away pants to Mansion for a limited engagement, spending every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night erasing the memories of girls like you with mesmerizing swivels and thrusts. Most chicks are happy to pay for the privilege.

But you're not like the other girls. We can tell. So we're giving away free tickets to Chippendales shows, just for you.

See also: Chippendales Miami Opening Night: Buns, Guns, and Then Some

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Olde City Sideshow: Bug Eaters, Sword Swallowers, Human Blockheads Take Over Churchill's

Olde City Sideshow
Living in South Florida, you may feel like you're part of one big circus. Whether it's escaped wild animals and endless palmetto bugs or that crazy lady tossing her baby at a police officer, this region is awash in a weirdness that never seems to settle.

Maybe what Miami needs is a professional touch, someone to take all that freaky behavior and put it in the capable hands of trained performers. Enter Olde City Sideshow, a traveling evening of performance art in the stylings of vaudeville, burlesque and the historical sideshow atmosphere, mixed with Philadelphia's counter-culture flair.

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Chippendales Male Strippers To Shake Their Junk at Mansion Miami

Categories: Sex/Fetish

Until recently, if you were a woman who wanted to watch studly dudes tear away their pants and stick their junk in your face, you had to either talk your way into Swingin' Richards (R.I.P.) or watch Magic Mike for, like, the 81st time.

But get ready, ladies of Miami, because 2014 just became the year of the cock.

Chippendales, the "male revue" that became famous for its shows in Las Vegas and Europe, has partnered with Mansion to bring a series of gyrating, oiled up humpfests to South Beach this January.

See also: The Nine Best Strip Clubs in Miami (NSFW)

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Attention, Hialeah: Bang With Friends Is Now Called DOWN

Categories: Sex/Fetish

Dear residents of Hialeah,

This morning, we'd like to call your attention to some very important news that will directly affect your daily life. And, in particular, your sexytimes.

Bang With Friends, the app you Hialeahans use more than people anywhere else in the state of Florida, is no longer called Bang With Friends. Henceforth, you'll be using an app called DOWN to casually get it in with random acquaintances. Be advised.

See also: Hialeah Is the Bang With Friends User Capital of Florida

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X-Rated Run: A Florida 5K With Porn Stars, Pole Dancing, and a Climbing Boob Wall

Categories: Sex/Fetish, Sports

Courtesy X Rated Mud Run.
Can you conquer the G-String Crawl? Dare you enter the Dominatrix Dungeon? Will you slide into the Honey Tunnel or tackle the Blue Balls Dash?

Don't worry -- you didn't fall asleep in front of the phone sex infomercials again. These are just a few of the sex-themed obstacles for consenting adults in the upcoming X-Rated Mud Run. That's right, you filthy animals. There's mud in this mix.

See also: What's Up With All the Themed 5K Races Coming to Miami?

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