Skate on, sistahs.

Roller derby ain't for sissies, and that applies to spectators as well as skaters (hence the term, "suicide seating"). For most of us, Drew Barrymore's turn in Whip It is as close to this bad-ass sport as we've gotten.

But trust us when we say: the Heat's got nothing on these chicks. This is a knock-down, drag-out diversion that pits woman against fierce woman in an epic battle on wheels.

Sound exciting? It is. And now that Miami has its very own team of rough and rowdy derby girls, it's right in our own backyard.

The Miami Vice City Rollers take to the rink in their first home game against the Bradentucky Bombers Saturday. So we caught up with one of the team's founders, Tallygator (aka Jessica Diaz), about what to expect.
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Ride it.

If you're not familiar with polo, "the sport of kings," picture this: a manicured lawn, an Armani-clad crowd, a hoard of minions waiting on them hand and foot. And the main event: well-coiffed players straddling hulking, sweaty animals, all while wielding long sticks and whacking heavy balls.

Some might say it's a homoerotic rich man's pastime. We might agree.

There might be more sexual innuendo in polo than in any other sport. In the men's competition, you've got effeminate knee-high boots and Village People-esque hardhats. And when the ladies of polo climb into the saddle to ram those balls around, plenty of polo terms take on a whole new meaning.

With the Maserati Miami Beach Polo World Cup kicking off this afternoon, we thought we'd provide a little crib sheet of polo's dirtiest maneuvers. So without further ado, here's your crash course on the sexy lingo.
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Prime Time Amusements

You wouldn't like them when they're angry.

Miami's seen its share of homages to the Miami Heat trio of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh: murals, shout-outs in song lyrics, and a healthy portion of the "Stuff Miami Heat Fans Say" video.

But Prime Time Amusements is the only one guaranteed to haunt your dreams.

The arcade company's "theming" division has produced giant statues of the Three Kings, rising in height up to 20 ft tall. They're titled "The Really Big Three" (of course), and they're the perfect gift for the Heat fan who has everything, including really terrible taste in theme party decor.
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Mike Salus

In 10 years, when they ask the NBA's biggest stars who inspired them to greatness, the answer may not be Michael Jordan or Dwyane Wade. It might be Lil Wayne.

Weezy was one of a handful of celebrities who joined the seventh and eighth grade South Beach All Stars amateur athletic union team Saturday for Celebrity Court of Dreams, a charity game at American Airlines Arena. The kids had the chance to be coached by and even play alongside the stars, all to benefit their championship team.

Check out our photos from the game after the jump.
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At first glance, competitive underwater leg wrestling seems, well, like a joke. Or a glorified game of footsie played in the pool. Or just a really effective way of getting kicked in the balls.

But Christopher Meadows, who invented underwater leg wrestling while swimming with his son one day in the summer of 2009, isn't laughing. He's well aware of people's first thoughts when it comes to the sport. But he says underwater leg wrestling is quickly growing into a legion of dedicated participants who swear by the intense workout it gives you, as well as its exhilarating competitiveness -- once you get over those initial giggles. Plus, you can give yourself a kickass nickname like "The Waterspider."

We talked to Meadows (AKA "The Waterspider") about underwater leg wrestling, its growing popularity, the possibility of it one day being an Olympic competition, and why you need to quit being such a contrarian pansy and try it for yourself.
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Joseph R. Cotter

The Heat's super-old dancers put Weezy in a great mood.

Most Miami Heat fans left last night's losing game against the Boston Celtics in disappointment.

But Lil Wayne isn't most fans.

The rapper watched most of the game quietly, looking away to text or talk to friends. He barely batted an eye when the Miami Heat dancers strutted across the court. He didn't even respond to most of the nearby fans who shouted at him, trying to get his attention.

Still, there was one part of the night Weezy definitely enjoyed: the gyrating moves of the Golden Oldies, the Miami Heat's dance team for fans age 62 and up.

Check out the video after the jump.
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Ninja bro master.

It's hard to be a ninja in Miami. It's hot in those black stealth suits; the humidity makes everything slippery; and we're way behind our California competitors when it comes to the art of ninja warfare. (Damn the West Coast and its proximity to Japan.)

Still, that didn't stop G4's American Ninja Warrior from making FIU's campus its most recent stop on a cross-country tour to find the nation's best and brightest alternative athletes.

American Ninja Warrior is a reality TV phenomenon pitting men and women against an ever-changing landscape of crazy obstacles. If you've seen Wipeout, or MXC, the Japanese show it's based on, well, it's kind of like that -- but serious. Real serious. American Gladiators-style serious. Instead of foam cannons and padded obstacles that throw you into the mud, contenders in Miami faced a red ladder forcing them to pull themselves up freestyle, and a log grip, a giant faux log with hand holds that staggered its way down a metal slope.

American Ninja Warrior is also based on a Japanese TV show (of course), and we were present for the final day of competition in Miami -- so we got to see the best of the best rise to ninja glory with a victory at the finish platform, or splash down in ninja dishonor.
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Not scary: These guys.

​I'm just going to come right out and say it: I am a wimp. A pansy. One of those girls who has to ask men to open jars and help get her luggage down from the overhead compartment. I've never been naturally gifted when it comes to sports, and I've always preferred curling up with a book to running around a soccer field or whatever.

I also grew up on Lifetime movies and episodes of Law & Order: SVU, so I find big 'roided-up dudes to be extra scary. I'm a feminist, so they also make me angry. And that's not exactly a recipe for professional wrestling fandom. I once seriously considered dumping a guy I was dating because I found out he was a big wrestling fan.

Instead, I married him. And that's how I found myself at WrestleMania XXVIII last night.
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Whether you're a woman or a man, it's totally okay to think John Cena looks stupid in cargo shorts

​We're going to go out on a limb and say that the WWE is not the most female-friendly sports organization. Crowds at televised events clearly consist of more men than women; half of the female wrestlers, officially called "divas," are girlfriends/love interests of male wrestlers; and for the most part, diva matches are largely made up of hair pulling and moan-like screams accompanying one hot lady straddling another.

For these reasons and more, being a wrestling fan when you yourself are a hot lady is not always easy. But that doesn't mean it's impossible. And with WrestleMania XXVIII coming to town Sunday, now's the time to brave the testosterone-fueled masses to cheer on your favorite wrestlers.

To help alleviate your lady-burden, follow these handy tips -- and you might just get out of WrestleMania with some semblance of self-respect intact.
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​Being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame is arguably the highest honor that can be bestowed upon anyone in the wrestling industry. But for this year's Hall of Fame headliner Edge, it must be a little bittersweet.

At last year's WrestleMania, Edge was successfully defending the World Heavyweight Championship in one of the biggest matches of the night. But only eight days later, Edge announced his retirement as a result of ongoing neck issues, making his match at WrestleMania XXVII the last one of his career.

Still, going out as the champ isn't so bad, especially when you're being inducted into the Hall of Fame in Miami by your long-time tag team partner Christian less than a year later. With that honor just a few days away, Edge talks about his WWE accomplishments, what his role with WWE will be moving forward, and how nice it will be to watch WrestleMania XXVIII as a fan.
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