via HocCouture/Etsy

A new Miami Heat playoff series starts tonight, this time against the Indiana Pacers -- and dammit, you simply have nothing to wear. Sure, there's your Miami Heat baseball cap and your D-Wade jersey, both of which pair nicely with your Heat logo tattoo. But everyone in town has that stuff.

To really support your Miami Heat in these games, you need to be unique. You need to stand out like man capris on a 6'4" athlete. You need something new, something creative, something ... handmade.

Luckily, there's Etsy, a treasure trove of wacky DIY homages to the best team in the NBA. Read on for ten items perfect for the Miami Heat fan who has everything.

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Devin Peppler

T.D. cannot believe they'd give the Super Bowl to anybody but Miami.

Later this month, the NFL will announce the site of Super Bowl L, marking the 50th anniversary of the mega-sporting event. In the running to host are Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, New Orleans, Arlington, Texas -- and, yes, Miami.

While Miami has always been an NFL favorite location for Super Bowls -- ten times to be exact -- recent political shenanigans have put the city's contention in doubt. Specifically, the Miami Dolphins' (mainly owner Stephen Ross') attempt at scamming $200 million to renovate privately owned Sun Life Stadium. It was sort of like wanting to get your house painted, making your neighbor pay for it, then trying to make him feel better by telling him that it gave a painter a job.

We'll keep our money out of a billionaire's pockets, but that doesn't mean that Miami should automatically lose out on a Super Bowl bid. Everyone already knows what makes us so great: sunshine, South Beach, record numbers of imported prostitutes, year round bikini-wearing availability. The other cities bidding for Super Bowl L don't even come close.

But this isn't something the NFL doesn't already know; it's why Miami is in the running for the Super Bowl year after year. So let's not talk up our lovely hometown, but take out the competition by shining a laser pointer on the other bidding cities' flaws like we're hazing a group of freshmen women trying to rush a Tri-Delt sorority.

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Cinco de Mayo is fast approaching, and other than ginormous sombreros and tequila shots, what better way to celebrate Mexican culture than through a knock-down, drag-out futbol fight? Balls to the wall, so to speak.

Red Bull's Fiesta de Futbol is pitting three against three for a serious soccer battle over Cinco de Mayo weekend. Winners will score a $1,000 prize, plus bragging rights for winning a Red Bull-sponsored sporting event. After all, RB does adrenaline right, from flugtags to space jumps to soccer.

See also:
- Red Bull Flugtag Returns to Miami! Flying Machine Entries Now Accepted

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Photos by George Martinez

Polo is a pastime generally reserved for the upper crust -- they don't call it the "sport of kings" for nothing. And because it tends towards exclusivity, it's chock full of good looking, wealthy, and athletically inclined players.

Hot. Ness.

Yesterday marked the start of the annual Miami Beach Polo World Cup, so if you want to get in with the best of the aesthetically appealing, ball-chucking, horseback-riding athletes flooding the beach, you need to be in top form. Winston Churchill once said, "A polo handicap is a passport to the world." So, y'know, dating a player would probably make life pretty sweet.

We spoke to our buddy Alex Webbe, Director of Polo for the World Cup and all-around polo guru, for some hooking-up suggestions.

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Bikini basketball. You thought it was a dream, didn't you? A sexy dream you had months ago that would never come true.

Well, we're here to tell you to think again. The Miami Spice is a real team of hard-hitting, superhot basketball babes, and they're kicking off the 2013 season this summer.

We have the full schedule after the jump.

See also:
- Bikini Basketball Exists and It's Coming to Miami

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Sebastian: Not a terrible mascot, also has a mean right hook.

Mascots are one of the most ridiculous aspects of sports. Kids love them, and you know the guy in the suit did it mainly the get close to the cheerleaders. Sure, it's all fun and games -- until his fuzzy face right in yours trying to get you to stand up and dance in the aisle, and you keep saying no, but this freak won't leave you alone, then your girlfriend starts pushing you to stand up, and then you're getting extra embarrassed, and before you know it you're in a fistfight with Sebastian the Ibis.

Mascots blow.

And some mascots blow a lot more than others. Some have the most ridiculous names and background stories; others are born out of errors or some totally out of touch convoluted college tradition.

Here are ten of the worst mascots from this year's March Madness NCAA Division I Men's Basketball Tournament -- and our suggestions for new and improved characters.

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Riding high on their latest soul crushing of the Boston Celtics, Miami's favorite team, the Heat, are now second on the all-time list of longest NBA win streaks at 23 games. They're second only to the 1971-72 Los Angeles Lakers, whose streak lasted 33 games and ended in a blowout against the Milwaukee Bucks in early 1972. That Lakers team featured an overwhelming amount of all-time greats like Wilt Chamberlain, Jerry West, Gail Goodrich, Elgin Baylor, and a much younger and less debonair Pat Riley.

While records in the sports world may seem like the pinnacle of success, nothing means forever like the immortality of film. Let's be honest: before this season, did anyone even know or care that the NBA win streak record was 33 games? Comparatively, we're sure way more people knew that in Rocky IV Apollo Creed came out to James Brown singing "Living In America." Or that Ricky Vaughn's nickname was "Wild Thing." Or that Matt LeBlanc was the baseball tutor for a monkey named Ed.

In the world of entertainment, film trumps sports, hands down. So to commemorate this year's Miami Heat, and the impressive win streak they've pulled off (and should extend tonight), we're imagining our own Hollywood blockbuster about the team: Miami New Times' Cultist presents a Chuck Strouse production: Blaze, The Much Told Story of The Miami Heat's 23 Game Win Streak.

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via RantSports.com/Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

We're with you, RantSports.com. When you write, "The University of Miami has swagger on the court," we nod our heads in agreement. When you say, "You either love the Hurricanes or you hate them," we're like, Don't we know it. When you say, "The U is... where some of the hottest college cheerleaders like to kick their legs up and shake their hips while not wearing much clothing," we think, Well, that's pretty pervy and objectifying, but still true.

But then you gave us the pictures. And that's where you lost us.

Don't get us wrong. The young women in the following photos are certainly very attractive, and we're sure they also have delightful personalities and talents that will lead them to successful careers as doctors and CEOs. But someone at UM needs to hire a better photographer, because the press is not exactly capturing their beauty on film in these shots.

You know how even Halle Berry can look derpy if you pause Catwoman at the wrong moment? This is that. Hell, this is a parade of that.

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Photo by Veronica Gonzalez

It was more than chilly Saturday evening as Miami's Vice City Rollers warmed up on the flat track at Suniland Hockey Rink. It was downright freezing! Well, by Miami standards.

About 55 degrees, the air felt a little brisk. That didn't stop a bunch of fans, friends, and family from filling the bleachers and a few rows of foldable chairs to cheer on the Rollers against the Sintral Florida Derby Demons.

Unfortunately for Vice City, the love wasn't enough to win, but it was enough to warm the Rollers and give us all a reason to have some fun.

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via grandcentralpark.org

UPDATE: The skate park opening has been moved to Friday, Feb. 22.

Grand Central Park, the temporary park on the site of the former Miami Arena, is opening its own private skate park today. The "DIY" facility claims to be the only place within miles of Downtown Miami where skaters can legally skate.

The new park comprises six concrete benches with steel rails, set up across 15,000 sq. ft. Urban activist Brad Knoefler and the Sandra E. James Foundation shelled out $25,000 to give Miami skaters a place to call their own.

See also:
- Brad Knoefler: Urban Revivalist

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