Super besties Dwayne Johnson and Mark Wahlberg.

Are Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson BFFs? Possibly.

Not even a week after their made-in-Miami film Pain & Gain hit theaters, HBO has announced the two will team up yet again, this time for a half-hour dramedy about retired athletes in -- where else? -- Miami.

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- Get Ready for Down Lo, John Legend's HBO Series About the Most Awful People In Miami
- Somebody Stole $75,000 Worth of Michael Bay's Sex Toys

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Hannah Sentenac

Obstacle courses like mud runs have become popular recently among Miami athletes who like to push their bodies to the limit. Now, the mother of them all is setting up right in downtown. And she is swole.

American Ninja Warrior, G4 TV's brawny sports competition, returns to the Magic City this weekend for two nights of filming at Bayfront Park. Spectators can watch its athletes do battle against a crazy series of ladders, pools, and cannons.

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- American Ninja Warrior in Miami: Hardbodied Bros Win It All, or Fail Spectacularly

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Real Housewives superfan Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

Life is a winding road, full of unexpected twists and turns. Just ask Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. If you'd told the basketball legend in the '80s that his career would have wound up as a series of AT&T commercials and reality-TV appearances just a few decades later, he probably would've said, "What? I'm sorry, man; I can't hear you from all the way up here," then easily stepped over you and continued on with his day.

But time goes on, people change, and retirement is crazy boring. And that's how Abdul-Jabbar found himself gossipping about Real Housewives with Andy Cohen on TV this week.

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- Lea Black on Real Housewives of Miami 's Third Season, Drones, and Her Upcoming Gala

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Wikimedia Commons

John Legend in 2008.

Hollywood celebrities, flashy cars, sexy models, pro athletes, and rappers poppin' bottles in the club. Does that sound like South Beach to you?

It does to John Legend. According to Deadline Hollywood, the singer-songwriter is helping to develop a series for HBO called Down Lo, set in Miami and featuring all your favorite SoBe stereotypes.

The story is set in South Beach (obviously) and promises to tell the stories of Miami's music scene and "sports and fashion circles." You've got your "top models" and your "athletes with their penchant for big money, fast cars, and beautiful women."

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For many of us, our dogs are like our kids. We love them, we care for them, and they can torture us with the same kind of behavior issues: barking, chewing, aggression. It's like the canine version of crying, drawing on the walls and temper tantrums.

Luckily, you can teach an old dog, young dog, or in-between dog new tricks, as proven by Animal Planet's Victoria Stilwell, host of It's Me or the Dog.

Stilwell is known for her positive, reward-based pooch training, and she recently released a new book, Train Your Dog Positively. She'll also be passing through Sunny Isles on Friday, April 26, hosting a Dog Bite Prevention & Awareness Conference. We caught up with Stilwell and chatted about breed-specific legislation (BSL), how relationships are affected by pets, and dogs as eternal optimists.

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- Dog Acupuncture? Puppy Aromatherapy? D.O.G. Canine Hotel's Paris Hilton-Level Pampering
- Architecture for Dogs: Sparky Can Finally Sit on the Furniture

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Ike's back, bitches.

Have you missed the brooding gaze of Ike Evans? When you sleep, do you dream of Jessica Marais in a bikini? Are you considering starting a Kickstarter campaign to turn the Miramar Playa set into a real, modern-day hotel?

Good news: Magic City's second season begins in two short months, giving you plenty of time to stock your bar with retro cocktail mixers and perfect your early '60s cosplay for your premiere party.

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- Magic City 's Second Season Will Feature a Whole Bunch of Hookers
- Magic City 's Season Two Trailer Takes Jeffrey Dean Morgan to Cuba (Video)
- Mitch Glazer: Magic City Muse

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Did you spend your Saturday night watching The Rachel Zoe Project marathon? Have you gotten into verbal altercations over Beverly Hills versus Orange Country? Is your boyfriend hiding his love for Nene Leakes like a meth habit?

These are all signs of a full-blown Bravo addiction. You aren't the only one with this disease. Sadly, there is no cure, and the only man to blame is Andy Cohen.

Cohen, king of reality TV, is the Executive Vice President, Development and Talent of the Bravo TV network, host of Watch What Happens Live, and as of last year, the author of Most Talkative. So while five nights a week you can catch him on late night, we had the pleasure of sitting down with him at Books & Books in Coral Gables. (He and hundreds of soccer moms and fabulous gays, of course.)

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- Girls Gone Wild Founder Joe Francis and Real Housewives ' Joanna Krupa: A Bravo Blowjob Controversy (Video)
- Smoking Hot Photos of Elsa Patton Before Real Housewives of Miami

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Shane Gandee, 1992-2013

In February, New Times reported on the arrest of Salwa Amin, one of the stars of MTV's teen redneck reality series, Buckwild.

But Amin's possession charges were only the beginning of gray skies for the network's latest Jersey Shore-style stereotype-driven television.

Cultist is sad to report that 21-year-old Buckwild cast member Shain Gandee has been found dead, along with his uncle and an unidentified friend.
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Even Daenerys is all, "Let's move this along, people."

Remember Friday, when all the office drones of the country could talk about was Game of Thrones' new season, which was just days away? There were interviews with cast members. There were items for sale on Etsy. There were facial hair power rankings. Anticipation was high.

Then the first episode of season three aired last night, and ... nothing much happened.

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- Game of Thrones Beard Power Rankings: Judging the Hairiest Faces of Westeros
- The Studs of Game of Thrones Visit Miami to Announce Third Season (And Party)

Hey, we get it. After a nearly 10-month hiatus, Thrones writers were tasked with reminding viewers of what, exactly, was going on in its complex plot. We saw some plot advancement -- Jon Snow meeting Mance Rayder, Daenerys considering buying an army of slaves -- but most of last night's episode featured people talking intensely to each other, as opposed to fighting with swords or having sex or setting each other on fire. We counted just one pair of naked breasts in the entire episode. One!

Hold tight, TV viewers; it may seem like the series has lost steam, but readers of the books know that shit's about to get awesome. In the meantime, entertain yourself with these Thrones-inspired videos, which are vastly more entertaining than last night's letdown.

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Wikipedia CC

George R.R. Martin: King of All Beards.

As wise man, Game of Thrones creator, and nerd demigod George R.R. Martin once said, "The stronger the beard, the stronger the man."

Okay, he didn't really say that. But judging from the characters he created (and by Martin's own bushy chinpiece), it's fair to assume that statement is part of his life philosophy.

As Sunday's premiere approaches, fans who haven't read the third book in A Song of Ice and Fire have very little to go on when it comes to predicting the action this season. Who'll die? Who'll land the Iron Throne? Who'll get zombie-fied by the White Walkers?

Facial hair seems as good an indicator as any. So we're ranking the show's best above-neck manscaping (or lack thereof) to weigh the odds. May the best beard win.

See also:
- The Studs of Game of Thrones Visit Miami to Announce Third Season (And Party)

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