Miami Comic Dave Williamson Totally Makes Out With His BCS Championship Tickets (VIDEO)

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Janeane Garofalo said it best in The Truth About Cats and Dogs: "We can love our pets. We just can't looooove our pets." (In the sexy way, she means.)

For most people, the same is true of our college football teams. But don't tell that to Miami comedian Dave Williamson, who is really excited to watch Auburn in the BCS National Championship game this Monday. Like, maybe too excited. Licking-and-nuzzling-his-pair-of-tickets levels of excited.

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Ten Miami Viral Videos That Deserve a YouTube Music Award

Categories: Lists, Viral Video

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YouTube
YouTube: a place where anyone can rise to fame within 15 minutes, and those fortunate (or hilariously unfortunate) few remain in our hearts and minds forever in the form of a viral video. In a pre-twerking age, those viral videos would remain a shared inside joke between yourself and your fellow viewers. But now, things are getting commercialized.

In partnership with the music industry, the first ever YouTube Music Awards is coming to a streaming device near you on November 3. The online award show will feature actor and musician Jason Schwartzman as host, will be taped live, and unlike typical three hour long award shows, this one will only be 90 minutes.

The nominations are set to be announced on October 17, and so we'd like to throw into the ring ten Miami viral videos that deserve an award (or at least a nomination).

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The Infinite Sadness of Chris Bosh Remixes Bleeding Palm's Borscht Short Film

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Adventures of Christopher Bosh in the Multiverse? It's OK, I guess. I mean, if you're into a ton of color and evil internet queens and the idea of a multidimensional space prince playing for the Miami Heat.

But what if you're looking for something a little more serious, a little more black-and-white, a little more... French?

Then you're looking for The Infinite Sadness of Chris Bosh, YouTube user "Tony Parker"'s remix of Bleeding Palm's epic original short film that screened at the Borscht Film Festival last year.

See also: Watch Adventures of Christopher Bosh in the Multiverse Online Right This Second

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Addicted to Twerking? Video Blames Florida for Booty-Shaking Habit

Categories: Viral Video

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Meet Stevie. She was just your average 20-something girl, sweet, innocent, with a bright future. She took dance classes as a child. But then, a visit to the Sunshine State opened up her dark side.

"It all started when I was in Florida, visiting my grandma," she explains. "And I saw the music video for Juvenile's 'Back That Azz Up.' That's exactly what I did. I just backed my ass up."

Now, Stevie's addicted to twerking. She twerks behind dumpsters and in gas station bathrooms. She twerks while she does the laundry and gasses up her car.

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Prancercise Lady Joanna Rohrback Presents John Mayer's New Song (VIDEO)

Categories: Viral Video

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Internet fame is a fleeting thing. One minute, you're doing the Harlem Shake on computer screens across the world. And the next, you're as old news as that finger-biting kid Charlie.

But Coral Springs Prancercise lady Joanna Rohrback has more staying power than most, thanks to a little help from her friends. Most notably, John Mayer.

See also:
- Florida Woman Invents Insane "Prancercise" Fitness Program (VIDEO)
- Prancercise Creator Joanna Rohrback: "I'm Against Riding a Horse ... Let the Horse Enjoy Its Free Will"

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Prancercise Creator Joanna Rohrback: "I'm Against Riding a Horse ... Let the Horse Enjoy Its Free Will"

Categories: Viral Video

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As you will soon learn, Joanna Rohrback has never actually prancercised alongside a horse.
Like wild mustangs galloping over the dusty Nevada horizon, it came our way without warning: a thing of raw, natural beauty.

PRANCERCISE!

As reported yesterday by New Times' equine dance-fitness bureau chief, Prancercise is a global multimedia phenomenon started by Coral Springs resident Joanna Rohrback.

In her book (Prancercise) and videos (Prancercise: A Fitness Workout), Rohrback evangelizes what she describes as "a springy, rhythmic way of moving forward, similar to a horse's gait and is ideally induced by elation." But as Cultist learned in a phone call with Rohrback, the story of Prancercise is not one just of elation but of struggle, a healing journey back from the brink, and copyright infringement of the Funkadelic back catalogue.

See also:
- Florida Woman Invents Insane "Prancercise" Fitness Program

Before we begin, take a look at Rohrback in action:


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Florida Woman Invents Insane "Prancercise" Fitness Program (VIDEO)

Categories: Viral Video

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"It's about Self-Expression. It's about Non-violence. It's about Conservation."

But most of all, it's about dainty steps, sweeping arm motions, and horse companionship.

Welcome to Prancercise, Coral Springs woman Joanna Rohrback's exercise program designed to make you as wiry and muscular as Seabiscuit himself.

See also:
- Prancercise Creator Joanna Rohrback: "I'm Against Riding a Horse ... Let the Horse Enjoy Its Free Will"


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Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil's Music Video Is the Worst Way to Start Your Morning

Categories: Viral Video

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Tan Mom has a music video. It features lyrics like "I'm hotter than Octomom" and "It's Tan Mom, bitch." There are tacky green screen effects, and two unfortunate male background dancers, and a cringeworthy section featuring some bukkake-style sunscreen application.

Don't watch it.

Seriously, I'm just putting this out there because it's my job. You can still save your sanity and your Monday morning by simply not clicking. Don't do it.

See also:
- The Ten Worst Moms in the History of Ever


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The LeBrons: LeBron James' Cartoon Starring Four Different LeBrons Proves LeBron Is God

Categories: Viral Video

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LeBron James is deep. LeBron James is wise. LeBron James is the multifaceted, ever diversifying, way sexier Buddha of professional basketball.

LeBron is not just an athlete. LeBron is not merely a man. He is many men in one body: a god-like sports star, yes, but also a child, an old man, a savvy businessman.

He is also the producer of The LeBrons, a cartoon about a family made up of all the LeBron Jameses inside LeBron James' head, created by LeBron James and starring LeBron James in one of the roles. Follow us into the light of LeBron, won't you?

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Kermit the Frog Sings About Ninjas and Cocaine in Video Ode to Miami Connection

Categories: Viral Video

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"What soulful sound is the band Dragon Sound" --Kermit
Why are there so many songs about rainbows? Who the hell cares? What Kermit the Frog really cares about these days is the art of filmmaking.

Why are there so many talks about movies
what's bad and then who's to decide?

Those are the opening lines to "Kermit loves Miami Connection," YouTube user Jonathan Matina's parody of "Rainbow Connection" in which the Muppet professes his love for the Y.K. Kim-produced festival of '80s nostalgia that hit theaters last year. Forget the lovers and the dreamers; in this video, Kermit's all about ninjas, rock stars, and cocaine.

See also:
- Miami Connection : The Best Florida Ninja Rock B-Movie Trailer You'll See All Day


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