Welcome back, weekend. But above all, welcome back, Mr. Guy Fieri, who's in town this weekend for the annual South Beach Wine & Food Festival.

A year between running into Fieri -- and his bitchin' wrap-around shades, bleach-blond locks, radical flame-print shirts, and sweet goatee -- late at night at Mac's Club Deuce is becoming far too long to stomach. We want to run into the Diners, Drive-ins and Dives star on South Beach 365 days a year --give or take 150 for filming.

If you're reading this, Guy, forget about Flavor Town, buddy. You can be our mayor instead. Fieri 2013!

Anyhow, here are the ten best things to do in Miami this week, y'all.

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Animate! Miami

Fighting evil by moonlight, winning cosplay competitions by daylight.

This weekend marks the arrival of the Animate! Miami convention, a three-day celebration of all things animation, including anime, cartoons, and even video games. With gaming competitions, panels on cosplay, viewing rooms, and concerts, there are plenty of events to choose from.

After the jump, check out five events from this weekend that must be seen to be believed.

See also:
- Florida Supercon 2012: The Greatest Costumes
- Local Nerd Proposes at Florida Supercon: "I Love You More Than Star Trek " (Video)

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Carlos Gonzalez

It wasn't like Serafin Debesa just woke up one day and decided he would risk everything and leave the corporate world behind.

"I had been feeling like something was missing for years," said Debesa over a Cuban coffee, surrounded by several of his thousands of pieces in the soon-to-be-opened Dimensional Art Gallery in Brickell. "Art has been important to me most of my life, and I felt there was something I could contribute."

So Debesa decided to leave his cushy job as operations manager for Majesty Cruise Line and devote everything to art. It couldn't be more difficult than coming to Miami from Cuba as a 1-year-old with his father, who was involved with the government of deposed President Batista. He began experimenting with different techniques.

"I knew I had an intention and direction," said Debesa. "The first thing you want to be assured of as an artist is that your work is unique, but still inspired by art and the beauty around you."

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Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders, Facebook

Holy August, is that you?

Hard to believe that it's been six days already since the eighth month of the year crept in and dumped a bucket of humidity on South Florida.

Come to think of it, time really does fly when you're stuck at an office desk for the better part of nine hours a day, slaving under the fluorescent lights of America's corporate culture and drinking coffee by the pot.

Aren't weekends refreshing?

Here's a list of some of the gnarliest events going down in our city today through Sunday.

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All photos by Laine Doss

Beer and conch fritters...better in the Bahamas!

When they're planing a weekend getaway, most Miamians think one of two ways: Mickey Mouse hell in Orlando, or drinking and fishing in the Keys. But we sometimes forget there's an entirely different country just 60 miles away from us, filled with fresh seafood, white powder sand, and really, really cheap beer.

Last weekend, Cultist was invited to try out the fast ferry service to Freeport on Grand Bahama Island. Ferry Express, operated by Baleria, departs daily from Port Everglades in Fort Lauderdale. The ferry seats about 460 passengers and travels at a top speed of 32 knots (about 36 MPH). The ride takes about two and a half hours each way and, while it's not really a time saver when comparing it to a flight, it is cheaper and offers benefits like being able to move around, shop for duty-free booze, watch a movie, and have a snack.

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Rebecca Black says it's "Friday"

And the award for fastest week ever goes to...

Seriously, where'd June 11-15 go? It seems like only yesterday that Britto's Wynwood workspace was being vandalized and Bernice Steinbaum announced she'd be closing her gallery next month, but that news is already nearly a week old.

Clearly the late nights spent watching the NBA Finals are taking a toll, affecting our ability to keep track of the time and day.

Had it not been for our custom Rebecca Black alarm clock, we would've totally skipped this week's weekend guide. But thanks to the YouTube sensation and her viral song, we're fully aware that it's "Friday, Friday, Friday."

Here are the best things to do in Miami this weekend.

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Logan Fazio

The Mayans had it wrong. The world will not end December 21 this year. It ends every year during the last weekend in May.

That's when the good people of Miami and the Beaches are swarmed with hoards of tourists flooding in for Urban Beach Week. And it's coming again this weekend. Get ready for even more traffic, skin, crime, and loud music (and even less beach parking) than usual on South Beach.

The Great Memorial Day Swarm of 2011 brought over 350,000 people to our city. Sure, the tourist dollars are great for our economy, but the line has to be drawn somewhere. Shouldn't it be capped to, like, 200,000 people?

To escape the wrath of South Beach, we've compiled a list of the 10 best things to do around Miami from Thursday to Monday, many of which are free or on the cheap.

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Miami can be so annoying, bro.

Irregardless of our broken English, poor syntax, and tik-tiki music, the Big Mango can be tremenda mierda sometimes. From shitty drivers to Pitbull's overuse of the word "dale," there's so much shit to be embarrassed about.

Pero at the end of the day, Miami's better than Tampa, right? We doubt that their weekend guide's as diverse as ours. And that whole Gulf of Mexico thing? Whack. It's all about the Atlantic, baby. No oil spills on this side, bitches.

Here are the 11 best things to do in Miami this weekend.

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Smyrna Beach Humane Society

Myrna knew she had the chops to pull off an elaborate hat.

Whatever happened to the tradition of wearing a big crazy hat for Easter? Years ago, when dinosaurs walked the earth and hatched out of giant pink eggs laid by the sabre-tooth Easter bunny, women and children would flounce down the main streets of their hometowns on Easter Sunday, displaying giant hats in an annual Easter Parade. Judy Garland even sang about the weird custom.

Cultist wants to bring back wearing hats -- and no, that old Von Dutch trucker cap in the back of your closet doesn't count. Neither do the mouse ears you bought at your drunken weekend to Disney World. If you're gonna attend tomorrow's Mad Hatter Art Exhibit tomorrow, April 7th at the Miami Beach Botanical Garden, you'd damn well better represent.

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​It's Friday, y'all. You know what that means:

"Shots shots shots shots
shots shots shots shots
shots shots shots shots
shots shots shots shots
IT'S THE WEEKEND!"

Yes, we rewrote the lyrics to LMFAO and Lil' Jon's song, "Shots." If anyone has any qualms about it, please feel free to know we don't give a damn.

What a hellish week it's been, eh? If it's not one thing it's another - you've got your boss hounding you down and you're in way over your head at work. Geez, when are we all gonna catch a break? Soon, kids, real soon. Freedom is just a few hours away.

Here are the ten best things to do in the 305 this weekend - all of which are certain to contribute to copious amounts of shots -- because you deserve a few, and you're in Miami, bitch.

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