Miami Bishop to Obama: "Stop Being a Sodomite"

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Episcopalian Bishop Leopold Frade had some strong words for President Obama last week: "I am asking President Obama to stop being a sodomite!"

Now, before jumping to conclusions, know that Episcopalians are totally down with the gays, and in 2012 Frade personally authorized the church's first recognition of gay marriage in South Florida.

Frade's remarks had nothing to do with homosexuality, but rather immigration.

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305 Photo of the Day: On the Way Down

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Today's photo comes from Roberto Bowyer's Flickr. If you'd like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.

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Miami Lawyer Caught Snorting Cocaine in a Circle K Bathroom, Back in Jail For More Drug Troubles

Categories: Crime, Drugs

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A lot of addicts say they needed to hit rock bottom before being ready to accept recovery. This apparently has not yet happened for Miami lawyer Kenneth Kukec.

He was arrested in July after he was allegedly caught snorting lines of cocaine off the back of a toilet in a Circle K in the Florida Keys, but was back in jail on Monday after violating his pretrial release by testing positive for amphetamines.

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Critical Mass Heads West Into Coral Gables Tonight

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Photo by Michael E. Miller
Critical Mass, the monthly bike ride that takes over entire roads, happens to occur on Black Friday this month. At least fewer people are working today. Which is a good thing, unless, of course, you're coming home with a car loaded with shopping bags sometime after 7:15 tonight.

Tonight's ride, like all Critical Masses, will start at Government Center in downtown before taking a route through the southwest portions of the city and heading as far west as Ponce de Leon Avenue in Coral Gables. Take a look at the map below, and, drivers, plan to avoid the areas beforehand.

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Has Miami Blown Its Shot at Major League Soccer?

Categories: Sports

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Photo by Michael E. Miller
David Beckham in February when he announced his Miami MLS plans.
Another Major League Soccer season edges toward a close this weekend as four teams fight for a spot in the final. Tomorrow could be Thierry Henry's last game. Sunday could be the same for U.S. legend Landon Donovan.

No matter which teams make the final, however, the biggest loser could be Miami. It's been almost six months since David Beckham's plan for an MLS team was blocked by local politicians. Now a host of new factors could mean Miami has missed its shot at a soccer team.

"If we can't get the right stadium, we can't go to Miami," MLS commissioner Don Garber said recently.

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WTF Florida: Hero Dolphins Fan Busts Bucs for Selling Fake Booze

Categories: WTF Florida

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Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio
A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest. This week, that includes a high-school prostitution ring, a group of incredibly dumb and hungry teens, and a hero Dolphins fan.

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Developer to Submit Habitat Conservation Plan for Controversial Walmart Project

Categories: Environmental

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Photo via ramrealestate.com
A projection of Coral Reef Commons.
The developers aren't giving up yet.

Earlier this week, Ram Realty Services, the West Palm Beach-based developer behind the proposed Coral Reef Commons project -- highly controversial because it would develop critically endangered pine rockland habitat -- met with U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (USFWS) officials and agreed to submit a habitat conservation plan in conjunction with a special permit application. Both the permit and conservation plan need to be approved by the federal agency before the project can proceed.

"We intend to fully cooperate with the agencies involved, and we look forward to reaching an amicable agreement and showcasing how Ram balances its commitment to the environment with its dedication to creating high-quality communities," Peter Cummings, the company's chairman, said in a news release provided to Riptide.

See also: Thousands Sign Petitions Against Walmart Development on Endangered Pine Rockland

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University of Miami Is Tops in Churning Out TV Judges

Categories: Listicles

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Just three years ago, mega-attorney Roy Black wrote in a candid blog post: "The UM Law School is in a death spiral; we have plummeted in the law school rankings, falling to 77th, while UF is 47 and FSU is 50. This is more than a little embarrassing."

Yes, the University of Miami law school is not held in the highest of regards.

But there is no denying that UM does something really, really well compared to all other programs: turning out graduates who go on to become TV judges. Seriously, the University of Miami has more alumni who have gone on to host their own daytime courtroom show than any other school.


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Ferguson Grand Jury Proves Criminal Justice System Is Racist

Categories: Luke's Gospel

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Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke assesses the fallout in Ferguson, Missouri.

America took five steps backwards when a grand jury in Ferguson, Missouri, did not indict white police officer Darren Wilson for shooting and killing Mike Brown, an unarmed black teenager, in August. It is unbelievable that a grand jury would not come back with an indictment when the accused cannot put on a defense or cross examine witnesses. In the minds of racists and the media mongers on Fox News, the criminal justice system worked fine.

See also: Miami Activists Protest Ferguson Decision

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Parking Authority: No More Pay By Phone Service Fees For Customers

Categories: Road Rage

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Photo by Rich Robinson
Happy Thanksgiving, Miamians.

And here's something to legitimately be thankful for: No more Pay By Phone parking service fees. Seriously. Beginning at 12:01 a.m. Monday, the Miami Parking Authority (MPA) announced this week, the authority will absorb the $.35 fee that accompanies each Pay By Phone transaction.

"As a measure to try to give back to the community that we serve, but also to incentivize people," Rolando Tapanes, MPA's director of planning and development, told Riptide. "We did the numbers and we decided that it would be worthwhile for us to absorb the transaction fee."

See also: Parking Authority Announces New Plan for Wynwood

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Jeffrey Loria Just Misses Out on Title of Worst Sports Owner to Guy With Racist Team Name

Categories: Sports

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Just about one of the best things you can say about Jeffrey Loria's stewardship of the Miami Marlins is that he hasn't changed the team's name to something offensive. In fact, an elegant-looking fish is probably one of the least offensive things to name your team for.

And it's that fact that kept Loria from being named the worst professional sports team owner in existence according to Rolling Stone. He had to settle for number two.

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Florida Deputy Suspended For Ferguson Facebook Comment: "Damn cockroaches! Squashem all!"

Categories: The Badge

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A Florida Sheriff's deputy has been placed on suspension with pay after making insensitive comments on Facebook in the wake of civil unrest in Ferguson, Missouri.

"Damn cockroaches! Squashem all !!!! I say we rally for Wilson, who's with me?" wrote Detective Richard Moon of the Wakulla County Sheriff's Department on his Facebook page.

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305 Photo of the Day: Tunnel Travel

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Today's photo comes from Sandra Canning's Flickr. To see your photo here join our Flickr group.

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Florida Turnpike Will Offer Free Coffee Over Thanksgiving Travel Rush

Categories: Road Rage

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Photo by Julius Schorzman | WikiCommons
Taking a trek to elsewhere in the state for Thanksgiving? Sounds unfortunate, but at least you can look forward to one perk if you take the Florida Turnpike. The road's 24 -hour service stations will be offering everyone free coffee during specific hours during the busy travel time.

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Rick Scott Admits to Being Shady or Just an Old Guy Who Doesn't Understand How Email Works

Categories: Politicks

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Rick Scott has a Gmail account. He also has his official state email account.

He swore he'd just used the personal Gmail account for private, family matters, telling the press back in August that "if anybody sends me an email to my private account, I do the right thing." Meaning he claims he forwarded all emails about state matters to his state e-mail account.

Well, whoops, after an internal review of his email habits, his office has admitted that wasn't always the case.

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Ten People in Sports Miami Is Thankful For

Categories: Sports

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Ah, Thanksgiving. The day our nation sets aside every year to give thanks, stuff our faces with amazing food, and watch football. God bless America!

Here in South Florida, we have so many things to be thankful for: the weather, the surroundings, the lifestyle, and, of course, our sports. Beyond the more important things in life like family and health, sports play a big of part as anything else in keeping us sane year-round, and for that we are extremely thankful.

Sports is entertainment, one of the few constants in life, and one of the only things set on a schedule that will happen regardless of how your week goes. So let's give thanks to those people that make our entertainment that much more fun and our sports that much more sportastic.

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Miami Beach's Hellish Year of Traffic Is Over: Most Alton Road Construction Now Completed

Categories: Road Rage

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Photo by Lyssa Goldberg
If you live in Miami Beach, the past year has been a steady descent into driving madness. First, it was impossible to travel south on Alton Road. Then random cross streets were also closed. Lanes began to magically merge and disappear like an M.C. Escher drawing. Buying organic kale at Whole Foods suddenly because an odyssey worthy of an epic poem. Some local businesses simply gave up.

But that nightmare is now over. After a year of construction, FDOT contractors have completed most of their work ahead of schedule.

That means you can now drive north and south on Alton Road -- just in time for Art Basel.

See also: Businesses Worry as South Beach Construction Moves on to West Avenue

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Jeff Ransom: Ancient-History Preservationist

Categories: Environmental

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Photo by Stian Roenning
Jeff Ransom can be found around the county surveying the land, looking for Miami-Dade's archaeological past.
In this week's Miami New Times, we profile 30 of the most interesting characters in town, with portraits of each from photographer Stian Roenning. See the entire Miami New Times People Issue here.

When he was a 9-year-old Boy Scout, Jeff Ransom and his fellow troop members got lost in a Venezuelan cave. Flashlights were dying. Kids were crying. Even their adult Eagle Scout leader shed tears. Luckily, the future archaeologist of Miami-Dade County was there to save the day.

"I wasn't scared, and I remembered the way back out, so I got everybody out," Ransom, now 49, recalls as he sits in a 12th-floor conference room at the Stephen P. Clark Center. "I've always felt very comfortable in caves."

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Tony Cho: Designing Miami

Categories: Unreal Estate

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Photo by Stian Roenning
Tony Cho has helped turn industrial and blue-collar areas into hip epicenters.
In this week's Miami New Times, we profile 30 of the most interesting characters in town, with portraits of each from photographer Stian Roenning. See the entire Miami New Times People Issue here.

The bright pink and green "For Sale" signs are everywhere in Wynwood, the Upper Eastside, Little Haiti, Edgewater, and downtown. And the name at the bottom of the sign is always the same: Tony Cho.

As a new real-estate boom hits the Magic City, the 36-year-old has clearly become a go-to real-estate tycoon in Miami's most happening neighborhoods. But getting there has meant weathering a historic recession and navigating a rapidly changing market.

"It's been a challenge," Cho says.

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Iñaki Goikoetxea: Jai Alai Superstar

Categories: Sports

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Photo by Stian Roenning
Iñaki Goikoetxea has been widely considered the world's best jai alai player.
In this week's Miami New Times, we profile 30 of the most interesting characters in town, with portraits of each from photographer Stian Roenning. See the entire Miami New Times People Issue here.

In his native Basque Country, Iñaki Goikoetxea frequently gets stopped on the street by fans wanting to shake his hand or ask for photographs. In Miami, not so much.

"Here nobody knows who you are or what you do," he says.

If they did, Miamians would probably want a photo too. For more than a decade, Goiko, as he is known, has been widely considered the world's best jai alai player -- not that the soft-spoken 34-year-old would ever point that out. "That's what they say," he shrugs. "I try to do my best every day on the court, and that's it."

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