Great, Florida Has a "Testicle-Eating" Fish Now

Categories: Flotsam

via YouTube
Earlier this summer Tom Rigby, a Sarasota resident, was fishing in a local creek when he felt a hard tug on his line. After a protracted fight Rigby was able to pull the fish onto his boat, but he was stumped at his catch. The large, grayish fish with a set of human-like molars didn't look like anything he'd ever seen in Sunshine State waters before.

"I got out my fish ID chart and go through all of the species," Rigby later told Suncoast tv station WWSB. "I can't see anything that looks like the species."

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North Miami Councilman Scott Galvin Warns About Fraud Scheme in Upcoming Election

Categories: News

photo by Skillz187 via Wikimedia Commons
North Miami's MOCA art museum
Just two months after Gov. Rick Scott announced the suspension of North Miami's mayor on suspicion of a mortgage-fraud scheme and a year after her campaign treasurer was wrapped up in a ballot fraud probe, North Miami politicians are gearing up for a new round of shenanigans in next month's elections.

North Miami Councilman Scott Galvin is asking his constituents to be on the lookout for ballot fraud after getting an anonymous letter claiming that political operatives are already trying to game the system again in Dade's sixth-biggest town.

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The Seven Minor Annoyances That Drive Everyone in Miami Insane

Categories: Listicles

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Yes, traffic is bad. Tourists can be awful. The humidity can be oppressive. Yet, we've come to accept all of those things about living in Miami. That's part of what we signed up for.

Sometimes it's the smaller annoyances that really make us want to catch the next flight to Milwaukee and never look back.

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Massive DUI Checkpoint Planned Tomorrow for Downtown Miami

Categories: The Badge

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You should never drink and drive, but tomorrow if you find yourself saying things like, "No, I had only two -- I think I'm OK to drive," it might be an especially good time just to take a cab or catch a ride with a friend instead.

A large-scale DUI checkpoint is planned for five hours in downtown Miami tomorrow night.

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Marco Rubio Pleads for "Tolerance" for His Intolerance of Gay Marriage

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Marco Rubio, a man who used to attend South Beach foam parties, is shifting toward full-out cultural conservative warrior mode as he prepares for his political future.

In a speech today before the Catholic University of America's Institute for Policy Research and Catholic Studies, he stressed a need for "tolerance" of those who are intolerant of gay marriage.

Perhaps "please tolerate my intolerance" would make a good slogan for his 2016 campaign.

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305 Photo of the Day: Pecking Order

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Today's photo comes from castaway-'s Flickr. If you'd like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.

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Video: Dwyane Wade Gets Asked by Kid Why He Flops

Categories: Sports

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Dwyane Wade and former Dolphins receiver Brandon Marshall run a summer sports academy for kids up in Illinois, but this summer it apparently turned into an episode of "Kids Say the Darndest Thing."

Apparently one young camper couldn't help but ask Wade a common question of any Heat hater: "Why do you flop?"

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Giancarlo Stanton Sick of Marlins Always Trading Everyone

Categories: Sports

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After some early hope this season, the Marlins will play their 100th game tonight and are marred in mediocrity. It's actually an improvement over the past two seasons, but the team is still 6.5 games behind in the wildcard race.

Rather than trying to beef up by making trades, the team is rumored to be calling it a season by dealing closer Steve Cishek.

Well, the team's one true superstar, Giancarlo Stanton, is mad as hell at the Marlins for trading away every other decent player at any chance they get and he's not going to take it anymore.

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Libertarian Adrian Wyllie Could Sink Charlie Crist's Campaign Hopes, Poll Finds

Categories: Politicks

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via Wyllie for Governor's Facebook
Who the hell is Adrian Wyllie? Well, he's a military vet, an IT consultant and the host of a libertarian radio talk show in Pinellas County. He also might just be Charlie Crist's worst nightmare.

That's because Wyllie is running for Florida governor on the Libertarian ticket and a new poll out this morning finds that throwing the radio host into the race turns a clear-cut Crist lead into a chaotic, impossible-to-call contest.

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Meet the Cab Drivers Who Want Uber and Lyft in Miami

Categories: News, Road Rage

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Courtesy of Uber
In the months since Uber and Lyft have set up shop in Miami and sparked a war of fines and impounded cars with the county commission, the battle lines have seemed fairly obvious. Commissioners -- backed by a powerful union of cab owners and medallion-holders -- oppose changing regulations to let in the app-based ride-sharing companies in. Taxi owners have lined up at commission meetings to argue that Uber and Lyft would put a stranglehold on their highly regulated and taxed industry.

But that doesn't mean all cab drivers feel the same. The New Vision Taxi Drivers Association of Miami, a group of 1,200 cabbies, has taken an official stance in favor of Uber and Lyft. Its president tells Riptide his members believe the competition would help everyone.

See also: Uber Car Service App Versus Miami Taxis

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Five Ways Dolphins Could Make Miami a Football Town Again

Categories: Sports

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Does LeBron James' defection to the Cleveland Cavaliers mean the Miami Dolphins could regain the top spot in Miami fans' hearts? That's the question many have been asking this past week as the dust settles from the Miami Heat's loss of the best player in the NBA.

Miami has always been considered a football town, but let's be honest: Three Miami Heat championships in the past eight years has changed that fact. Even with the loss of LeBron, the Heat still enters next season with a team that can compete for a championship, something the Dolphins haven't sniffed in more than 40 years.

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Report: 90 Percent of Downtown Condo Buyers Are Foreigners

Categories: Unreal Estate

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It's not exactly a secret that Miami's latest unhinged condo boom is being fueled by foreign money, but the exact number of new residential units being bought in downtown by those from abroad is eye-popping.

According to a not-yet-released report from consulting firm Integra Realty Resources for the Miami Downtown Development Authority that was obtained early by the Wall Street Journal, "90 percent of the buyers of new residential units are from abroad."

See also: Miamians Can't Afford to Buy Condos in Miami

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305 Photo of the Day: Lighthouse

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Today's photo comes from Evan Kissner's Flickr. To see your photo here join our Flickr group.

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Miami Hurricanes Picked to Win Coastal Division by Media

Categories: Sports

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The Miami Hurricanes are gearing up for their 11th season in the ACC and have yet to even win the conference's Coastal Division. That counts as a fall from grace for a team who used to be in the national title conversation every year.

But damn it, at this point fans would be thrilled with just a trip to ACC title game. Well, good news, the media has tipped Miami as the favorites to win the division this year.

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John Oliver Tears Into Rick Scott for Private Prison Stance

Categories: Politicks

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Daily Show alum John Oliver's new HBO show Last Week Tonight is only on its 11th episode, but obviously a comedy program poking fun at politics and the news can only go so long until it features a few Rick Scott jokes.

On Sunday's episode, Oliver dug into America's prison fetish, and particularly went hard on private prisons run by the Geo Group. Scott, of course, has been pushing for prison privatization in Florida and just happened to be holding a fundraiser at Geo Group president George Zoley's home last night.

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FSU Professor Dan Markel's Mysterious Murder Shocks Law Community

Categories: Crime

via Florida State University College of Law
Dan Markel
Emails and Facebook notices began pinging around Florida's legal community Saturday with the unbelievable news: Florida State University's nationally respected professor and legal scholar Dan Markel was dead. Shock soon turned to outrage when police confirmed that Markel, who was only 41 years old, had been shot inside his Tallahassee home.

This morning, detectives have added more mystery to a case that's reverberating in legal circles around the nation. Markel, Tallahassee police say, was the "intended victim" of the murder and not the target of a random burglary gone wrong.

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Today's Rappers Owe Everything to As Nasty As They Wanna Be

Categories: Luke's Gospel

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Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke reminisces about the album that changed hip-hop.

It's hard to believe 25 years have gone by since I put out 2 Live Crew's As Nasty as They Wanna Be, the first album in history to be deemed legally obscene. Back then, I never imagined I'd be the only music artist to go to jail and take the fight all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court for this rap shit. I'm the reason today's biggest rappers, from Rick Ross to Lil Wayne to Drake, can make sexually explicit songs without fear of being prosecuted.

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J.J. Rendon: Alvaro Uribe Did "the Dirty Work of the Chavistas Without Knowing It"

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Courtesy of J.J. Rendón
J.J. Rendón poses next to a caricature of himself
It's been a chaotic summer for Colombians. First, they watched their national soccer team win four straight games at the World Cup. Then los cafeteros were cruelly denied a trip to the semifinals by a bunch of brutal Brazilians and a bogus referee.

While Colombia was uniting around its team, however, it was also being pulled apart by cutthroat politics. The June 15 presidential election was so dirty it deserved a red card. There were defections, accusations of bribery, and a candidate who publicly pissed himself.

The only thing that wasn't surprising was the man at the center of it all: J.J. Rendón.

See also: J.J. Rendon is Latin America's Karl Rove

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Judge Won't Allow Gay Marriage to Start in the Keys Tomorrow

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Attorney General Pam Bondi
No wedding bells will ring for gay couples in the Florida Keys tomorrow.

Monroe County judge Luis Garcia ruled last week that Florida's gay marriage ban was unconstitutional, and Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi immediately filed to appeal the decision. Today Garcia refused to lift Bondi's stay, and the ban will remain in effect while the case works it way through the appeals process.

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305 Photo of the Day: Purple Tower

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Today's photo comes from Roberto Bowyer's Flickr. If you'd like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.

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