​Maureen Raymond, 49, may admit she was driving under the influence of "big boobies," but that's about it. After being approached by police for driving over the speed limit and swerving over the double yellow line, Raymond refused to perform a field sobriety test because she claimed her big breasts would get in the way.
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​Riptide has a now established tradition of mathematically (in the loosest sense of the word) deciding which team Miamians should root for the in the Super Bowl. This year the answer seems obvious: F*ck the Pats! But should we really f*ck the Pats? Lets run both the New England Patriots and the New York Giant through our nonsensical test to find out!
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​Today's photo comes from Burnt Umber's Flickr. If you'd like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.

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​It sure sounds like Peyton Manning is going to end up in Miami eventually one way or another. The only question is whether it will be in a Dolphins jersey or a pair of board shorts lounging at his condo at the Continuum in the South of Fifth area of Miami Beach.
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courtesy of Carlos Miller

The Miami Dade cop who screamed for Miller's arrest

Local journalist Carlos Miller has a blog called Photography is Not a Crime. Apparently Miami-Dade police officers are not avid readers.

County cops arrested Miller on Tuesday night as he was filming the Fuzz forcibly evacuating Occupy Miami protesters from Government Center downtown. But he says the police are the ones who messed up.

"They took a routine bullshit arrest and turned it into a huge constitutional violation and a possible federal lawsuit because they deleted my footage," Miller says. "They messed with the wrong reporter."
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​Remember in December when Daily Show correspondent Aasif Mandvi was roaming around Tallahassee asking officials, including Gov. Rick Scott and Attorney General Pam Bondi to pee in a cup?  Well, the package finally made it onto the air last night.More >>

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S. MiRK via wikimedia commons

​The Susan G. Komen Foundation's decision to cut funding to Planned Parenthood has set off a firestorm of debate across the country. Some Komen chapters have rebelled and several top Komen executives have already resigned in protest. So it's no surprise that in Miami -- where we don't even have to disagree to fight -- tensions are high.

Komen's local Facebook page has been flooded with angry comments (and some in support, too). Meanwhile, Planned Parenthood South Florida has raised thousands of dollars in two days.

UPDATE: Komen announced this morning that it was reversing its decision, thereby restoring breast cancer funding to Planned Parenthood. "That is what is right and fair," the group's founder, Nancy G. Brinker, said in a blog post.
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​If you were a betting man, hopefully you were betting that a bill to bring three full-service, Las Vegas-style casinos to South Florida wouldn't pass this year. You'd be cashing in right now.

The bill has died in the Florida House, after Rep. Erik Fresen, the Republican from Miami who is sponsoring the bill in the House, failed to cobble together enough votes to pass the bill out of the Business and Consumer Affairs Subcommittee. That, of course, does not mean he won't try again next year.
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​Oh, you thought Miami was done with the Kardashian plague ever since Kourtney and Khloe finished "taking" us? Not by a long shot. The klan's DASH boutique remains on Washington Avenue on South Beach, and apparently is doing so well the girls are looking to relocate it to a space twice the current size.
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​We're number one, and there's nothing to get excited about. Using criteria that included violent crime, political corruption, foreclosures, and unemployment, Forbes.com has ranked Miami as America's single most miserable city. We're up from second place last year.
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Bill Wisser

Khalilah Camacho-Ali

​Khalilah Camacho-Ali remembers the first time she walked into 5th Street Gym in Miami Beach was during the summer of 1967. Back then she was known as Belinda, the 17-year-old second bride of the man who would go on to become the greatest boxer of all time: Muhammad Ali. At that time, Ali had been banned from the sport for his refusal to fight in the Vietnam War. The Champ was paying a visit to his trainer Angelo Dundee to see if there was any way he could get back in the ring.

"I made a comment about the place smelling like musk and sweat," Khalilah recalls. "Angelo turned to me and said, 'that's the smell of success.'"
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​Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.
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​Since Riptide broke the news in October that an Ohio-based developer wants to build a massive new Walmart in booming Midtown Miami, the firm has kept quiet about the plans. That doesn't mean they've backed down after residents angrily flooded our story and others with anti-Sam Walton comments. This week, the company's attorneys sent the city a request to make some changes to the nearby neighborhood to help the giant retailer fit in.

Specifically, Walmart wants permission to re-build a 350-foot segment of NE 1st Avenue so Walmart's delivery trucks can get in and out without changing the area's "pedestrian friendly" feel. Click through for the letter.
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via Sun-Sentinel

​Forget the new logo, uniforms, coach, roster or shady funding for the new stadium -- by fair the most despair-inducing feature of the Miami Marlin's recent makeover is what we originally termed the "insanely ugly animatronic home-run sculpture." The thing looks like a Mardi Gras float impregnated a Guy Harvey shirt during a bad acid trip at the Magic Kingdom.

Until recently it only existed as a terrifying GIF, but it's now near completion. We must accept that it is an actual reality.
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​Citizens decry the involvement of shadowy special interests and lobbying groups in our politics, so it's quite surprising that Rep. Rachel Burgin, a Republican from Tampa, tried to pass the actual mission statement of such a group into law.

It's not exactly a secret that lawmakers often don't actually write the laws they introduce. Sometimes they rely on aides, but sometimes they just pretty much copy and paste language pre-written for them by outside groups. Most, however, aren't as lazy about it as Burgin.
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​Today's photo comes from MaxSkyMax's Flickr. If you'd like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.

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​Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi may be fighting to repeal President Obama's healthcare reform laws in court, but the new laws have already saved Floridians close to $142 million, and most of the laws haven't even gone into effect yet. The savings come from Medicare recipients who now pay less for their prescription drugs. Bondi however wants the laws voided as soon as possible.
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​Miami's urban core skyrocketed with glistening glass high-rises during the real estate boom, but little was done to turn the area's neighborhoods into truly integrated, livable communities. Will the next step in the Magic City's perpetual urban makeover include more neighborhoods where parks, retails shops, apartment buildings, and, uh, a casino are intermixed in harmony? The Town Square Neighborhood Development Corp. sure hopes so. Yesterday it unveiled a highly speculative plan for development in the area just west of the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts.
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​Two women are in critical condition at the Ryder Trauma Center after being shot during a bizarre incident that started with hair pulling at the Molino Rojo Bar in Little Havana last night. Meanwhile, 35-year-old Fidencio Membrano now sits in jail and faces charged of attempted murder and battery.
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​Controversy seems to follow North Miami Mayor Andre Pierre wherever he goes. So, naturally, now he's managed to get himself in a public feud with his kid's science teacher.

Laurie Futterman, a science teacher at the David Lawrence Jr. K-8 Center, showed up last week at a city council meeting to speak against controversial plans to privatize garbage pickup. In a seeming bit of retaliation, Pierre called up the school and demanded that Futterman be brought into the principal's office.
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