The Simpson family was officially banned from Florida after Homer accidentally killing a famous alligator named Captain Jack in an 11th season episode, but apparently someone in Tallahassee lifted the ban because the Simpsons are officially moving to Florida. And they're bringing the entire town of Springfield with them.
The Rickenbacker Causeway has proved a dangerous place for bike riders of late. Cyclists Aaron Cohen and Christophe LeCanne were killed by hit-and-run drivers in 2012 and 2010, respectively. Several other cyclists have been injured recently in similar incidents.
But in the past two days, cyclists have started seeing an even more sinister type of assault on the Rickenbacker. Several bikers have been attacked by a silver car full of BB-gun-wielding teenagers. Nolan Farhy was shot in the leg and back at 2 p.m. Thursday afternoon as he peddled near the Rusty Pelican.
"I felt something ricochet off my leg," says Farhy. "It stung. When I looked over, I saw these three kids in a car with the window was down. The kid in the back had something in his hand... and they were laughing."
A carjacking ended this morning with an assist from Mother Nature. After trying to evade police the suspects ended up crashing the stolen ride into a tree.
At about 2 a.m. this morning police received reports of a carjacking near NE 33rd Street and Biscayne (you know, in the safe and trendy Edgewater neighborhood). The thieves and the gold Lexus they jacked however were gone by the time police arrived.More »
In January, Keskea Hernandez was whisked from her cell at the Federal Detention Center downtown to Larkin hospital in South Miami. The pretty 42-year-old real estate agent had pleaded guilty to mortgage fraud a year earlier. Ever since her incarceration, however, her health had been in free fall. She was weak, vomiting blood, had difficulty walking, and had lost a third of her body weight.
Courtesy of the Hernandez family Keskea Hernandez died in prison after officials denied her request for a compassionate release
Hernandez begged prosecutors, judges, wardens, and doctors for a "compassionate release" so she could recover at home with her teenage daughter. Instead, her handwritten letters were ignored. She died alone, shackled to a hospital bed, on January 9.
When we wrote about Hernandez's case in February, prison officials didn't even return our calls. But they are paying attention to the issue now, thanks to a new federal report that slams institutions like the FDC for "ad hoc decision making that has likely resulted in eligible inmates not being considered for release and terminally ill inmates dying before their requests were decided."More »
After a seven-year hiatus, cult sitcom Arrested Development returns on Netflix this weekend. Of course, in Miami, a city of sociopathic, vain crooks you might not be aware that a show about a family of sociopathic, vain crooks has been off the air for so long. In fact, since the show's initial cancellation in 2006 we've been living in a sea of pseudo-Bluths. In fact, there're some matches that are so uncanny we didn't have any problems finding real life Miami counterparts for the Bluth family.
Ever since Florida's Department of Environmental Protection retook control of the shuttered Coconut Grove Playhouse last year, the storied structure has been left to rot. And until the state closes a deal with Florida International University, Miami-Dade County, and Gablestage to open a new theater on the site, it will likely remain an eyesore, according to emails between a Grove activist and the department of environmental protection staffer in charge of the storied building.
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.
Well, at least his neighbors hopefully won't have to complain anymore about all the filming that was going down there
Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez has reportedly sold his Miami Beach mansion for $30 million. He had bought the home in 2010 (while dating Cameron Diaz) for $7.4 million and then invested another $7.6 million in major renovations. All-in-all that comes out to a tidy $15 million profit.More »
The actual gubernatorial election is more than a year and a half away, but Republicans have already dug in their heels by attacking Rick Scott's presumptive Democratic challenger. Mostly that's involved throwing barbs at former Republican Charlie Crist, who may or may not actually run, and who may or may not actually survive a Democratic primary.
But they've finally realized they should expand their attack range, and today sent out a press release targeting the only Democrat whose actually announced she's running.More »
Earlier this week, in a cringe-worthy turn of phrase The Miami Herald business section declared that Miami's Edgewater neighborhood is "located at the intersection of funky and trendy" after realizing, a few years too late, the neighborhood has experienced some classic gentrification. Of course, the Herald only bothered to get around to writing the story because developers are starting to build new luxury high-rise condos in the neighborhood. And whenever developers are involved, the Herald's instinct is to dutifully drop to its knees.
Icon Bay, currently under construction in Edgewater.
This week's story, "The Ag Gag War," goes behind the scenes of the guerilla fight between animal rights groups and Big Agriculture.
Photo courtesy of Mercy for Animals One of the nearly 3,000 pigs at Country View Family Farms in Fannettsburg, Pennsylvania. The far mis a supplier for Hatfield Quality Meats, which is sold in twelve Northeastern states.
For years organizations like the Humane Society and Mercy for Animals have being going undercover at America's largest farms, using hidden cameras to show exactly how our food is produced. The footage hasn't been pretty.
A confrontation early this morning in Hialeah between a tenant with a baseball bat and a landlord with a gun ended with the tenant shot through the chest and left dead.
In the capital of medicare fraud, Miami therapist Paul Thomas Layman and his cohorts pulled off a doozy of a heist, stealing $63 million from the federal government through bogus mental health services. Now Layman will spend the next nine years in federal prison following his sentencing hearing yesterday. The case against Layman shows how south Florida is ground zero for the nation's booming medicare fraud racket.
The 66-year-old former health clinic director, who pleaded guilty in March, worked at now defunct health provider Health Care Solutions Network Inc, or HCSN. He was a substance abuse counselor, therapist and clinical director of HCSN's Partial Hospitalization Program, which provides intensive treatment for severe mental illness.
- South Florida Is Ground Zero for Medicare Fraud
According to Miami Beach police chief Ray Martinez, the holiday weekend will look a lot like it did last year: traffic loops, cops scanning license plates along the bridges, and regular DUI stops.
It might sound like a helluva hassle, but there are several recent reminders of what can go wrong on the craziest weekend of the year, from zombie-attack victim Ronald Poppo's video release to the lawsuit Raymond Herisse's family announced it was filing earlier this week.
- Three Cops Hurt, Multiple Bystanders Wounded In South Beach Urban Beach Weekend Shootouts
- Family of Raymond Herisse, Man in 2011 Memorial Day Shootout, Files Wrongful Death Lawsuit
- Ronald Poppo, Miami Zombie Victim, Releases Video Message
LeBron James cordially invites you to a huge helping of his clutch gene, located on his gigantic clutch manliness. Staring down the barrel of a heartbreaking game one overtime loss, LeBron James drove to the hole with 2.2 seconds left and hit the game-winning layup to propel your Miami Heat to a 103-102 victory. All of the crazy.
LeBron messed around and had a triple double, going for 30 points, 10 rebounds, and 10 assists -- sexy. Even while battling foul trouble all game long (he finished with five fouls), LeBron was able to will the Heat to an emotional win. Speaking of emotion, Chris "Birdman" Andersen was a human Four-Loko Wednesday night, except someone poured out half of the Four-Loko and refilled it with freaking fuck yeahs. Birdman (Birdman!) cawww-cawwww'd his way to a perfect 7-7 from the field for 16 points and 5 rebounds in just 18 minutes of crucial play.More »
Uncle Luke, the man who made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke gives so,e advice to the world's most popular golfer.
It's high time Tiger Woods stops putting up with the blatant racism thrown at him. He needs to stand up to fools like his golfing rival, Sergio Garcia, who revealed his racist side during the European Tour Player of the Year Awards on May 21.
The Golf Channel's Steve Sands asked Garcia, a white Spaniard, if he would be inviting Woods for dinner at next month's U.S. Open. Garcia replied, "We'll be having him round every night... and serving him fried chicken." He's not the first imbecile from golf's lily-white establishment to deride Woods because of his race.More »
How crazy is that Crazy White Boy gang? So crazy members brag about being in gangs on Facebook and, get this, they don't even give a fuck. Whatever. Whatever. They do what they want.
Or they did until they got arrested.More »
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