"Icicles on the Testicles"

Brrrrrr!

Inevitably, when the first cold snap strikes south Florida, people will beam with pleasure. "Isn't this terrific?" they'll say. "Finally, a break from the heat!"

I respectfully suggest they go the hell back where they came from and pound icicles up their asses. There's weather like this all the time up north in New Wingland and Minneysoda and Walla Walla Washington. It's called spring.

-Frank Houston