Castro: Ruling Cuba With an Electric Worm
If Fidel really wants to strike fear into the hearts of the American Military Industrial complex, he should put on that Adidas jumpsuit and do a helicopter spin. Or maybe he should get Evo and Hugo over to his place, give them matching jumpsuits, and then break into a leftist rendition of the Electric Slide. How confidence-inspiring would that be?
The American market would come crashing to its knees. China would stop its silly slide towards democracy and start a whole new Cultural Revolution... most likely a Dance, Dance revolution.
Consider this a tip, Castro: drag a few pieces of cardboard into the Presidential basement, break out your old VHS tapes, and get crackin. Let's try and get some real news in the paper, okay? --Calvin Godfrey