This Weekend, Try a Milk Shake and Monkeys

Sometimes this town can make you feel like a garden snake trapped in a viper pit. Life can be frustrating and hard and dangerous. It is times like these that you need to go have a fucking milk shake… and look at some fucking monkeys.

Head out to Florida City and keep driving until there’s nothing around but a weird little fruit stand called Robert is Here. Sidle up to the window and order a milk shake. Make it a large. Have them put all the good shit in there: Orange, Key Lime, Coconut, Mango. Gnaw on some Jack Fruit and Mamey and all the other stuff that nobody else in the country ever gets to try.

Then get back in your car and drive down the road suckin' down that crazy, tropical nectar. Stop at the Everglades Outpost. Check out the toothless Lemur that is in love with a white rabbit. And the pair of tigers that some stripper decided she just couldn’t take care of anymore.

Best of all, gawk at some monkeys. They’re basically you…with nothing to worry about. --Calvin Godfrey