John DeGroot gives us the background facts on the University of Miami's purchase of Cedar's Medical Center. In short, he suggests, based on the numbers, that UM is buying itself a right big boondoggle.
And this time he tees off on another newspaper instead of the old punching bag down at 200 East Las Olas.
Here's DeGroot:
For anyone living in Miami Beach, Smatt's campaign signs are unmistakable: most feature the candidate with a massive white beard and white, finger-sized eyebrows, holding a Daschund in each hand and smiling warmly before a backdrop of an unfurling American flag. This reporter, at first glance, assumed it was fake. It is not.
Ink-stained media types mingled over glasses of Cypriot wine at “Bin no. 18 – European Bistro & Wine Bar” the other night. The occasion was a Cyprus Halloumi Dinner hosted by visiting dairy producers such as the Cyprus Dairy Association and Cyprus Association for the Promotion of Milk Products. The idea behind the gathering was to introduce halloumi cheese, which is largely unknown in these parts (the only place you can purchase it is at Whole Foods Market) -- and also as an encouragement for those attending the 10th Americas Food & Beverage Show at the Miami Beach Convention Center to stop by the CheesEU Halloumi Pavilion booth and have a taste or two. The show runs through Wednesday.
Halloumi is a good cheese to get to know, as it’s one of the most eminently cookable of curds -- part goat milk, part sheep milk, white, tangy, and, if you haven’t yet guessed, indigenous to Cyprus.
This past March Steve Barret, a former Opa-locka city commissioner and vice mayor, filed a class action lawsuit against the city after finding he was charged the equivalent of a 126.5 percent APR in water bill penalties from September to November of 2002.
Opa-locka charged more than 10 percent compounded interest, per month, on late water bills. Worse, when matter went before a judge this past July, it came out that the city had instituted a special “friends and family” plan.
City employees and their friends didn’t have to pay the same late penalties as everyone else, according to testimony from the city’s assistant finance director, Faye Douglas: “The city regularly waives the late penalty/interest for some account holders, who have failed to timely pay their utility bill and whose services have not been discontinued.” Everyone else gets their shit turned off and has to pay $25 to get it hooked up again.
The city declared that it “reserved the right” to establish “payment plans” with individuals unable to pay the city on time. But a judge ruled these practices were “capricious, arbitrary, and discriminatory.”
So Riptide put in a call to the utility billing department and asked the operator how we could get on the city’s friends and family plan.
Here's one for all of your surfers enjoying the waves of Tropical Storm Noel. It's a recent video of a surfing dog on Miami Beach:
This Sunday, our Dolphins flew across the pond to play the New York Giants at London’s Wembley Stadium. And while in England, they did the obvious -- they lost. But for once, the teams’ 0-8 record wasn’t what the guys over at ESPN were all abuzz about. Last Wednesday at his Dolphin Stadium locker stall, surrounded by reporters, linebacker Channing Crowder made even the “dumb jock” detractors cringe when he let a few choice pearls of wisdom fall from his mouth.
He said: “I couldn’t find London on a map if they didn’t have the names of the countries. I swear to God. I don’t know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that.”
“I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name.”
There is something vile about malls. Something nasty. Whether it's the 11-year-old girl painted up like a Russian stripper or the sad old men shuffling around the air-conditioned cavern like a pack of medicated zombies, the mall breaks humanity down to its meanest possible mode: chickens with charge cards.
And if you don’t believe me, if you don’t buy that the mall is the lamest place on earth, well, piss on you.
Allow me to direct your attention to Dadeland Mall’s most recent massacre. (It doesn’t involve an armored Econoline vanfull of Colombians and machine guns, but, hopefully, it will make you not want to go there).
Ahol Sniffs Glue is a dude. He’s an artist, in fact. Maybe you’ve seen his name around town on stickers. Or maybe you’ve noticed his wall of eyes off of I-95 glaring at you among a row of one story wharehouses just south of I-195.
He and a select group of dude artists work shitty jobs all day and daydream about “thowing up” (painting) their pseudonyms. They want their stuff big, in public places. That’s their thing.
Last week a store called Up Against the Wall approached AHOL and some other graffiti writers. The store, a Hipstery emporium of expensive “urban wear,” planned to open a location in the Dadeland Mall for the Christmas shopping season. They wanted an “urban”-like environment in which to peddle skater shoes and hoodies.
So they plied AHOL and other graffiti writers with pizza, gift certificates and the promise that they could all hold a show in the store and sell some of their wares. (In other words, they weren’t really going to get paid to do it). They were also told to keep things mall-clean. No dirty words. No nudity.
Well, turns out the Dolphins suck on pretty much whatever continent they play on. The UK game came and went, the NFL finally got to force itself down the throats of the Brits while having their sport showcased on a field that matched the shittiness of the teams playing on it, and a jolly good time was had by all. Meanwhile, the Dolphins got to fly a total of 16 hours to and from London just to get their asses handed to them for the eighth straight time. So, in the end -- for them and for us -- it was a complete and total waste of time and resources. Why fly half way round the globe when they can conveniently suck ass here in the States without all that bothersome jet lag and sleep deprivation?
And while I can speak of the tough play of Jesse Chatman (aka Pocket Thunder) and while I can talk about the solid showing by our defense, and while I can triumph in my hang-my-balls-out-there prediction that Ted Ginn would score his first career TD in this game … I won’t. Because we lost. And we are now 0-8 and officially globally shitty.
The defense, who entered this game giving up an average of 400 points, were finally able to hold the opposing team to a mere touchdown and a couple of field goals. And wouldn’t you know it. On the one week they’re finally able to do that, the offense decides to play like Dave Wandstedt was back for an encore performance of play calling, smirking with his wispy mustache and running his hands through his hair while pacing the sidelines.
And let me say this again, just to be sure we’re all clear where I stand: Cleo. Lemon. Sucks.
Concrete Loop has the photos from Dennis Rodman's Rodmania halloween party this past Friday at Gulfstream Park.
We thought Dennis was going to costume up for the occasion! (Sorry. Too easy.) --Frank Houston
Former boy-bander Lance Bass was signed copies of his book Out of Sync at the Coral Gables Books & Books last Friday, and we urged you to go, told you how cool it would be. We even promised that you’d be able to grill Lance on his failed attempt at space travel, and his recent leap out of the closet. And Friday evening, we left the offices with a smile on our face, satisfied that all the Miami Bassaholics would finally get their fix.
Then this morning, as we were consulting one of our most trusted news sources, Perez Hilton, we found out that little Lance-y was, according to Perez, “acting cunty toward his fans.” Cathi, a Miamian who learned of Bass’s appearance from our lil’ ol’ calendar section, said that the former N’Syncer was two hours late to his own signing, and once he showed up, he only stayed for 10 minutes! According to Cath, the turnout was less than spectacular, but that was no excuse for Lance’s rude in-n-out routine. We’re hoping he didn’t use that same technique later on that night. Check out Cathi’s e-mail here. --Raina McLeod
OK so now I'm pissed.
On the same day, the Marlins -- oop, I mean Red Sox -- win the World Series and the New York Times reports that former Marlins manager of the year Joe Girardi is the leading candidate to take over the Yankees. Oh yeah and did I mention that Miami's own Mike Lowell was the World Series MVP. And then there's Josh Beckett.
Oh oh oh yeah, and then there was the news last week, that the Marlins don't want to pay as much to help build a new stadium by the Orange Bowl.
You can blame this whole mess on the fact that Marlins fans don't go to ball games -- or that the city didn't get it together to make a good stadium proposal by the bay, as it should have done in the first place...
But in the end, you gotta wonder if the Marlins management has the brains to hire geniuses of talent scouts (like the now departed Dave Dombrowski) why don't they have the strategic sense to match it? Be smart. Think long term.
So I have a suggestion. Sign Miami's own A-Rod. He's on the market!
Pimped-out tongue statutes with artistic touches (one tipped with a gargoyle, another doused in exterritorial green, another bedazzled and named "Say hello to my little friend") were red-carpet fixtures when superstars mingled at the recent MTV Latin America awards.
Paulina Rubio, the Mexican bombshell singer with flaxen curls, won a golden beaded tongue, Lengua Aprisionada, designed by artist Angel Delgado, and Kudai, a Chilean pop-rock group, won a spiky black tongue, Lengua espinosa designed by artist, Vicente Rojo Cama after being voted Fashionistas by the audience at the Oct. 18 awards in Mexico City.
For this year’s awards, MTV invited artists to twist the typical pink tongue statutes given to winners to their creative liking. Twelve artists, mostly from Mexico, were chosen by the director of Feria México Arte Contemporáneo and Mexico City officials to design the tongues.
The tongues with artistic dashes turned out far more interesting and far less phallic than the traditional pink statutes. One tongue included a peach, blue and white floral trim, another was put in a glass case with plants. Add a dash of social awareness and they’re even more tasty. (The tongues were designed under the human rights slogan, Libera tu lengua, or Free your Tongue.)
MTV bought the two statues that graced the fingertips of Ms. Rubio and Kudai and the others were auctioned off on the site Mercado Libre. The auction closed Oct. 25. The most-coveted tongue rang up a $5,000 bid; the lowest went for $400. An MTV spokeswoman did not know which spicy tongue brought in the most cash. --Janine Zeitlin
From the sound of it, Butler & Sons Books in Rosenberg, which is about 20 miles west of Houston, is just your average rare-book store, selling for a couple thou first editions of All the King's Men, Tarzan of the Apes and other treasured tomes. Bill Butler bills his joint as "An Intellectual's Ice House," and promises it's worth the drive -- more than 80,000 books, for them's so interested.
And business must be exceptionally good: Yesterday, at an auction at Dallas-based Heritage Auction Galleries, Butler forked over $119,500 for the collection of Che Guevara goodies that once belonged to former CIA agent Gustavo Villoldo. Among the items Butler picked up: "fingerprints, maps, letters, newspaper clippings, and dozens of death photographs of Che and his fellow guerrillas" -- and, yes, that infamous 3-inch lock of Guevara's hair, only slightly better than a Che T-shirt or shooter glass. Now Che's a Texas tourist attraction: Butler says he'll display the hair in his store, and too bad it's not a barbershop. -- Robert Wilonsky
In October, 2003 I wrote a review of Arbetter’s Hot Dogs (8747 SW 40th St.; 305-207-0555) in which I mocked their offer of free baked beans to all customers if and when the Boston Red Sox won the World Series. My point was that giving out free beans when Boston won was like offering free dollar bills when Kucinich becomes President. I noted that the Sox hadn’t copped a title since 1918, nor since 1960 when Bostonian emigré Bob Arbetter first made the promise from his brand new hot dog stand (then on Flagler Avenue, now on SW 40th St.).
"The Sox are an undeniably fine baseball team, and have just steamrolled into the American League Championship Series,” I wrote back then, “but anyone familiar with the ‘Curse of the Bambino’ will surely share my prediction of pending beanlessness.” I was right.
Bob Arbetter arrived in Miami with a thick Boston accent, which customers liked to tease him about. He would defend his hometown strenuously, and all that was associated with it. His son Ronnie, who with brother David now runs the business, recalls that “He’d tell the patrons that when the Red Sox win their World Series, ‘I’ll serve you guys baked beans and then you’ll know what it’s all about’”.
Sadly, Bob passed away in 2003, one year before his beloved Sox finally turned the trick.
Okay, I had to laugh when I read this Herald story about Edel Mesa, Miami’s leading candidate for a Darwin Award. All I can say is que pendejo. I also got a kick from some of the reader comments like this one by Player:
“He was growing weed for his sick Abuela.”
Or this other one from Anonymous:
