Cleo Lemon Won't Go Away
Evidence suggests that Cam Cameron’s mission in life is to completely and utterly fuck up John Beck’s career beyond all recognition before it even gets started. Instead of starting Beck at home against Buffalo after the bye week, he decided to give him the reigns on the road, in the shittiest of shitty-ass weather, against blitz-crazy defenses. He then decided to dropkick Beck’s confidence square in the man-sack by giving him the fish-hook after just a few plays last week. Now, as the Fins face the weakest of their final three opponents this Sunday, he decides to bench Beck and give Cleo Lemon the start. Lemon will, of course, fuck any chance we have of beating the Ravens in the ear, by fumbling the snap five or six times, tossing a pick six or seven times and throwing one of his shoes instead of the football three or four times. The Dolphins will lose and Cameron will then announce that Beck will get the nod at New England next week when the Pats will be favored by 3,001 points.
Some might agree with this move and say Lemon gives us the best chance to secure a win. To those folks I’d say, between you and me, the time your parents told you they left your dog on a farm where he could live the rest of his life dancing and prancing in the meadows? They lied. They forked over 600 bucks to have him put to sleep.
Anyway, seems cryptic and prophetic that a dude named Lemon is going to lead us down the path to 0-16. Cam Cameron makes my brain hurt. -- Chris Joseph
To read more on sports from Chris Joseph go to FinsNation.com.