To celebrate his decade of success, owner Romeo Majano is offering complimentary champagne this Sunday, and each succeeding Sunday through April. Recently rated in the Zagat Guide as “Top Italian” restaurant in Miami, Romeo’s Café, on Coral Way, distinguishes itself via lack of a written menu. Chef Romeo visits each table of diners (there are just 28 seats), asks their preferences, and follows with a customized meal. The prix fixe three-course lunch is $35.00, six-course dinner is $80.00. And now it includes, on Sundays, Piper Heidsieck bubbly. -- Lee Klein

11 ex-Dolphins will be playing or somehow participating in the Super Bowl this Sunday, which is more than any of the current Dolphins can say. Let's see... Jason Taylor? Collecting Man of the Year Awards. Not bad. But we'd rather he be collecting a Super Bowl ring. Cleo Lemon? At the corner laundromat. He threw his dirty undies in the dryer and the rest of his clothes he threw into some old lady's hamper (see what I did there?) Channing Crowder? Looking for another tree to crash into. Our entire secondary? Still in flames from what Randy Moss did to them back in October. Trent Green? Drawing murals on the wall with his own poop.

Here's the list. Because fuck it, man:

Atlus Co. is a game developer that specializes in weird, off-beat games and they show no signs of changing directions. The developer is currently working on Baroque, a remake of a title originally released for the Saturn and Playstation. The game follows the same twisted, surreal vision as other games in the Atlus Co. catalogue.

The game is a dungeon crawler. There is only one dungeon - just one huge seriously messed up dungeon. The layout changes every time that the protagonist enters, so you are guaranteed to get lost. This style of game is reminiscent of the older RPGs, specifically the text-based ones, where the purpose was to either get the hell out of the dungeon or find your way to the bottom (I never understood the fascination with going to face your ultimate demise at the hands of some three-headed beast on the bottom floor of a dank dungeon).

Nothing says benevolence and charity like a liquored up asshole telling everyone in the room just how much they’ve let him down. But that’s me. I love me an alcoholic beverage or two, and I love to let it all hang out when I drink. So if I’m going to get shit faced and act like a total douche, I might as well do it while supporting a good cause. It’s all about the kids, really.

Just when I begin to come to terms with the fact that Dan Marino may not, after all, be a god, he comes out and announces that he’s now making wine. He’s not a god. He’s the friggin Messiah!

Let's be honest: the mood at the Barak Obama party early Tuesday night at the American Legion wasn't cheery. But the three dozen or so supporters were pleasant, if not understandably irked by Hillary Clinton's recent "fundraiser" in a state where, technically, the Democrats weren't supposed to campaign prior to the primary. (Check out this editorial from the Manchester, N.H. Union Leader for an interesting take on the matter).

I took a barstool next to a smiling woman named Lottie Hines. She wore a white plastic hat with an Obama bumpersticker adhered to the front. Turned out she was a tenants rights' advocate in Miami Dade County and a veteran campaigner for Bill Clinton. This time around, she said, she was squarely in Obama's camp. What that meant this primary season: 10 bumperstickers, 30 tiny round stickers and a homemade t-shirt. "If we had the information we could have put out to the public, we woulda..." she paused. "scuse me for saying this, but we woulda kicked Hillary's rump." Because the National Democratic Committee didn't allow the candidates to campaign here in Florida, supporters received none of the usual flotsam: no campaign signs, no flyers, nothing.

There was a brief flurry of applause throughout the room when Obama's vote percentage ticked to 30 percent, then again when a TV station wandered through with a camera. Ten minutes or so after Hillary Clinton was deemed the winner by CNN, Obama supporter Dave Patlak tried to put a happy spin on the results. All of Obama's votes, he said, were a result of grassroots campaigning. "I want to thank everyone in this room for your hopes and dreams," he said.

At that moment, someone placed a life-size, cardboard cut-out of Obama next to Patlak. Lottie Hines, who had been looking through her purse for her phone, looked up, startled. "I looked up and saw Obama and thought, 'When did he come in?' "

-Tamara Lush
Photo by Marco Kornfeld

If a flimsy “I voted” sticker isn’t enough to validate your participation in the democratic process, G by Guess is offering up a proper thank you. After all, it’s hard to take an hour off of work, stand in a long line, and press a button on a screen, all just to make a difference in our country. Actually, you can get a reward without even lifting a finger. G by Guess partnered with Declare Yourself, is offering a 20 percent discount in the store and online from now until March 1 to create awareness about the election.

The best part? There will be no way to verify if you actually voted or not; everyone gets the discount just for visiting the website. Sounds like a nice reward for very little effort -- a message we here at Riptide can get behind. The nearest stores are in Coconut Grove and Dolphin Mall and have men’s and women’s clothing. Go here for more info and to download the coupon. --Raina McLeod

I want to start the Burn Down the South Dade Justice Building (after everyone goes home) Club. But in the interest of diplomacy, I’ll settle for re-naming the place The Castle of Poop and Inconvenience. Any takers?

Frankly, I feel like all of my constitutional rights and bodily orifices have been violated in that terrible, terrible hole in Cutler Ridge. Here’s why:

"Isn't that the Muslim guy?" a man shouts, smirking from a passing pickup truck on 11th Street near Jefferson Avenue late Tuesday morning. That's where Jon Fontaine holds his Obama 2008 sign.

Fontaine, a 45 year old antiques dealer in aviator glasses and black flip-flops, shrugs off the unfounded rumor. "This is Hillary country for now," he says. "The gays, the Jewish retirees, they like Hillary. But Obama is just what the country needs. I'm tired of the monarchy." Fontaine is Obama's lone supporter near the Miami Beach fire station, where a dozen-plus bored-looking poll workers far outnumber the handful of voters at today's primary.

Fontaine has never been more energized about a candidate in his 27 years of voting. "His desire is really altruistic. The Clintons are about power. I don't know how Bill Clinton wants people to vote for somebody he hasn't wanted to have sexual relations with for 20 years." --Janine Zeitlin

Ready... Set... Ross. Car alarms sounded in the streets as multiple Maybachs made their way down Washington Avenue Monday night in honor of The Boss of the Carol City Cartel, Rick Ross. Celebrating his 31st birthday in ultra VIP SoBe style, the Miami hip-hop star was joined by Jay Z, Scott Storch, Sean Kingston, Trick Daddy, DJ Khaled, and other entertainers. With a VIP section blocked off for Ross and company, White Diamonds was packed tighter than a bootleg case of Ross’ new album, Trilla, which hits the streets March 11.

Cash Money prospect Brisco (“Bitch I’m Me”) along with Slip-N-Slide up-and-comer Quote (“Don’t Wanna Fight” ft. Trina) came out to party along with a few hundred of Ross’ closest friends from the 305. Boston Celtics’ forward Paul Pierce had trouble getting past the velvet rope while Cincinnati Bengal Chad “Ocho Cinco” Johnson practiced prima donna behavior, giving out the cold shoulder to all in his path. The bitter athletes didn’t dim down the life of the party; Ross had bottles poppin’ from 1 a.m. on, with blunts a-blaze every few seconds. The smoke-filled urban hotspot hosted a drama-free night of good company, good times, and a good ‘ol buffet of chicken wings to accommodate a club filled with fans of the chronic. --Tracy Block

This morning on Northwest Seventh Avenue, Main Street Black Miami, guys with Vote Yes on Amendment 26 signs and T-shirts lined the road. One whom I questioned, 18-year old Mark James, said he was being paid $80 for the day to stand under a palm tree and wave the placards -- colored green and orange. (UM colors?) He was unfortunately in a position where no one could see him.

Cars were tricked out to urge a yes vote too. But the electioneering only occurred in the black part of town as far as I could tell. That's sleazy. The gambling boys must think blacks are more prone to vote for the accursed amendment, which would allow slot machines at Calder Race Track, Flagler Dog Track and Miami Jai Alai.

Here's the good news, though. Barbara Lazanne, an African American home health nurse whom I questioned outside the Dunbkin' Donut at NW 7th and 103rd Street, saw all the signs. But she still voted against the proposal. "It's only going to bail out the racetracks," she said. "And the tax proceeds will be spent all over the state, not just here." Hallelujah.

Even James, who's aiming to earn his GED, didn't wave the sign with much energy. When I asked him whether he planned to vote for the amendment, he answered: "I don't know."

Chuck Strouse

There is a certain Jorge Luis Borges twist to me, a restaurant critic, critiquing a show whereby average folks play restaurant critic. I’m talking of the first installment of Check, Please!, the PBS series that has met with great success in Chicago and Los Angeles, and hopes to do likewise here. Michelle Bernstein hosts the half-hour show, which premiered last night and will run through Thursday. It moves along quickly, mostly out of necessity as three restaurants get reviewed by each of three guests, plus a short plug of each eatery by the owner.

Episode one began with Beauty Pageant President Barbara Howard offering praise for her selection, Sheba Ethiopian Restaurant. Skydiver (?!) Robi Brian started off sounding a bit pompous as he criticized Sheba as not being up to par with Ethiopian eateries he has eaten at in other cities. He sarcastically noted that it was “the best Ethiopian restaurant in Miami” (it is, of course, the only one), and went on to suggest there having been a microwave in the kitchen. Ouch.

The Florida Primary has finally arrived, and so has Jesus' endorsement for president. Jesus vetted the candidates for you all last week, and while Rudolph Giuliani and Hillary Clinton got high scores, 4 Crosses and 4 1/2 Crosses respectively, they just couldn't summit the mountain that is Jesus' all important vote. Click here to read the whole Who Would Jesus Vote For? series. Now, without further ado, we present you Jesus' pick for the 44th President of the United States.

Remember in the patented Crucifix Rating System (CRS)®, a maximum five crosses equals a strenuous holy endorsement.

Trekking in the Everglades became sketchier once monster, gator-eating pythons began making guest appearances. Over the weekend, a bald-headed vat of reptilian knowledge offered some good news.

Remember that widely circulated photo of the 13-foot Burmese python that split after gulping the gator? Rick Scholle, exotic animal handler at Trail Lakes Campground, a.k.a. Skunk Ape Research Headquarters, thinks the shot was likely fiction, the art of a savvy Photoshopper. Reptile to reptile eating frenzies are rare. He pointed out that the photo came out during an effort to toughen rules about exotic pet ownership. What’s more, he doesn't believe pythons are breeding in the Everglades, because their eggs wouldn't likely escape fire ants.

Florida’s primary is finally here -- excited yet? If you are, I applaud you. If you are like the majority of us, you’ve already decided on your candidate, and regardless of whatever that Green Party friend is telling you, you aren’t going to change your mind. In the spirit of this idea, we’ve asked a couple of random folk to name the first word or phrase that comes to mind when we mention a candidate’s name. Read on to find out what your fellow Americans really think of our future leaders! All I can say is: God help us.

Back Alley Turf Wars 2 sounds like a no-holds-barred wrestling match held in someone’s backyard. Actually, it's a boxing tournament.

I figured that this would be a small event with a couple of people rooting for their favorite fighters, but once I stepped in to the gym, I found it was packed with people. A distinct odor of sweat and a little B.O. wafted by -- not a killer smell, but it wasn’t daisies either. Thankfully the back gates were open.

Check, Please!, hosted by Miami’s favorite local chef, Michelle Bernstein, makes its debut on PBS (WPBT, Channel 2) tonight at 7:30 p.m. Every episode features three guests who pick their favorite restaurants, then visit the establishments anonymously and offer their critiques back in the studio. I spoke with Michelle over the phone about the experience...

Tomorrow voters will decide whether to allow slot machines gambling at pari-mutuels, those depressing pseudo-gambling places about town with decaying buildings and clientele. They boast low-payouts and facilities with the same yellowed charm of roller-rinks and bowling alleys.

Saving pari-mutuels with slots is kind of like giving your grandmother orthopedic shoes to make her walk younger. Sure she doesn’t wobble as much, but she still looks like she’s not going to be around for very long.

But enough with my editorializing.

We are now just one day away from the Florida Primary, and thusly only 24 hours away from revealing Jesus' endorsement for the next president of the United States. All last week, Jesus picked apart the candidates and dismissed them like Judas at the Last Supper, from John Edwards to Mitt Romney. Today, Jesus shares his thoughts on Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton. Click here to read the whole Who Would Jesus Vote For? series to date.

Remember in the patented Crucifix Rating System (CRS)®, a maximum five crosses equals a strenuous holy endorsement.

One Day Till the Primary: Would Jesus Vote for Hillary?: Only 24 hours until Jesus reveals his endorsement for the next president of the United States! All last week, Jesus picked apart the candidates and dismissed them like Judas at the Last Supper, from John Edwards to Mitt Romney. Today, Jesus shares his thoughts on Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton.

Scenes From the Flagler Dog Track: Tomorrow voters will decide whether to allow slot machines gambling at pari-mutuels, those depressing pseudo-gambling places about town with decaying buildings and clientele. They boast low-payouts and facilities with the same yellowed charm of roller-rinks and bowling alleys. Riptide visits the Flagler Dog track for the final race of the day, and to get a sense of what slots would mean to this place, which looks something like an outdoor sanitorium –a hang-out for lonely old men who have replaced normative human interaction with low-stakes gambling.

Weakened Wu-Tang Plays the Fillmore: It began with a ridiculously early door time of 8 p.m. Everyone knows that nothing at a hip-hop show happens before 10 at the very earliest. Rather than put on an opening act, a boring laptop DJ played a bunch of club hip-hop for two hours to increasingly loud and increasingly frequent booing. By the time Wu-Tang took the stage it seemed like people were over it, and while the group urged everyone to get closer (security gave up and everyone rushed down the aisles), the energy seemed lackluster from both audience and performers. They didn't perform a single song from their latest album, 8 Diagrams. In fact, at one point they announced "We have an album out... '8 Diagrams'... If you don't have it, it's okay!" At the end of the show, two guys in front of me turned around and said, "Are you taking notes? Take a note that THAT SUCKED!"

First-Annual Bhangra Competition: Dancing With the Stars Meets Bollywood: While salsa may be the dance and music of choice of the Magic City, the rest of the world has gotten hip to all things Punjab; Bhangra is the percussion-heavy, high-energy craze that hails from India. On Saturday night at the Gusman Theater downtown, teams from 10 colleges from as far away as British Columbia swayed, danced, and shimmied to the music. It was like a Bollywood movie come to life: the women wore colorful veils and the men wore turbans. Everyone seemed to be dressed in combinations of pink and purple, blue and yellow, red and gold. Some danced, while others did backflips and a few played traditional Indian instruments and sang live. Everyone grinned while dancing, and it was difficult not to be happy while watching the groups dance.

At Thursday night's debate, Florida Republicans were treated to banter along the lines of a feisty discussion sparked over overstuffed, leather armchairs between gentlemen at a country club.
It even became fraternal as the Republican candidates sized up the brawn of their supporters.

Mike Huckabee joked about being timid to oppose his tough guy, Chuck Norris, when he first said John McCain was too antique to be president. McCain chortled and then said he'd send his muscle crew, Sylvester Stallone and Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf, to face Norris.

What do Florida Democrats hear? (Cricket. Cricket.) And then there's the echo from South Carolina of the kind of political nastiness that leaves a stale taste in one's mouth. Recent verbal sparring between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama and the early voting date that caused the party to be stripped of its delegates may cause some to feel less than enthusiastic about voting in the presidential primaries on Jan. 29.

But Make It Count Florida, a site run by the Sunshine State's Democratic party, is encouraging blue voters to hit the polls while assuring that it will be more than a "beauty contest" or a "straw poll:" "The nation will be watching, and the outcome of the election will set the tone for the rest of the race." So, basically, the Democratic race in Florida boils down to perception. Right now, from afar, the perception of the blue frontrunners is akin to a spat over who will be king or queen of the playground. --Janine Zeitlin

Rides:
Sorry for the late notice on this one, but:

Tonight, the Emerge Miami’s Critical Mass will be riding bikes at Shark Valley in the Everglades. Meet at Coconut Grove Metrorail stop at 6:00, or at Shark Valley at 7:00.

If you’d like to stay closer to home, the other Critical Mass (the punkier one) is having an evening ride tonight. Meet at 6:30 at Government Center.

Last, yours truly has been talking with some folks about biking down the new busway to Florida City tomorrow. It’s an unbroken 22 miles of paved bike path, and there’s always a bus back. Send an email if you’re interested.

Now the News:

Picture this scenario: you’re riding in a bike lane (Miamians might have to use their imaginations), with cars going past on your left. Just as you approach an intersection, still going straight, the car just ahead of you suddenly turns right, blocking your way.

Luckily, you’ve been practicing your triple flip car jumps, and you land on the other side, unscathed. But imagine if you didn’t know Bike Fu – you’d plow right into the car.

Asian Stock Markets Plummet in Fear of U.S. Recession – In response to the belief that the U.S. is entering a recession, stocks in several Asian markets sank. In India, the Sensex experienced its second worst day ever.

Hillary Clinton’s Money Man – Chris Korge, who has raised money for several Democratic presidential candidates, is now focusing his efforts on Hillary Clinton’s cause. His past, however, is marred by shady deals.

Mine-proof Vehicle Destroyed by Mine – A road side bomb destroyed a vehicle that the U.S. Army has been counting on to reduce casualties from roadside bombs in Iraq. One gunner was killed, and three other soldiers were injured. The attack raised questions about the effectiveness of the vehicle. The Army still believes that the armored vehicle is effective.

Spence-Jones to Pay for Election Violations – Miami City Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones agreed to pay $8,000 in a settlement. Spence-Jones was accused of five different violations, the most serious being handing out cash to poll workers on election day. This comes at a time when Spence-Jones is being investigated by the Miami-Dade State Attorney’s Office.

Padilla Sentenced to 17 Years – Jose Padilla, the Chicago-born convert to Islam who was accused of plotting to use a “dirty bomb” in the U.S., was sentenced to 17 years in jail for two other charges. He was convicted of conspiring to support terrorist groups.

Joe Cool Mystery Solved – The mystery of the murder at high seas is solved. The trial is still months away.

In case you're still not sure who to vote for in the Presidential Primary, USA Today has an interesting online tool that may help you decide. The "Candidate Match Game" asks a few questions, then gives you a list of presidential hopefuls that match your views.

Unfortunately, if you're like me, the calculator will tell you that you should cast a ballot for some guy named Mike Gravel. His campaign slogan, according to his website, is "Let the People Decide." Um, okay. I kinda thought that's what this whole election thing was about. People. Deciding. Stuff.

Back to Gravel. Other interesting tidbits: as a U.S. Senator from Alaska, he got the Pentagon Papers published in 1972, married "Miss Fur Rendezvous" and in 2007, declared that he had "zero net worth" as he started his presidential campaign. Sounds like I've picked a winner. -- Tamara Lush

So far this week Jesus has given his thoughts on some of the weaker candidates in this year's presidential race. First he dismissed John McCain and John Edwards, then turned his sights on Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul, and on Thursday, the Carpenter took apart Mitt Romney. Today Jesus has kept it short and sweet in evaluating two of the more prominent candidates, Barack Obama and Rudy Giuliani. Click here to read the whole Who Would Jesus Vote For? series to date.

Remember in the patented Crucifix Rating System (CRS)®, a maximum five crosses equals a strenuous holy endorsement.

It's a known fact that elderly folk don't really care what they put on after a certain age. And honestly, they shouldn't care, they're old and tired. Unfortunately, we are the ones that have to suffer. Take this man in pink and purple, for example. Little does he know that if anyone spots him and stares at his awful combination of colors for more than a minute, their brain will turn to goo.

Where: 2214 N.E. 123 Rd. Street, North Miami; Web site: http://www.saraskosherpizza.com/home.html; (305) 891-3312

What $15 Gets You: Sara's dishes are economically priced across the board, everything from the sandwiches ($6 to $9), to the omelets ($7), and even a 16” cheese pizza ($14) fit the budget.

There are a lot of places in North Miami Beach to get kosher food, and several places you can get good vegetarian food, but Sara's brings it all together under one simple brown-shingled roof.

The Call of Duty series has finally moved away from focusing on World War II. Don’t get me wrong it’s a great series but there are only so many times that I can kill Nazis without it getting repetitive (Note: Nazis are still bad). But the new setting has to deal with many of the same issues of repetitiveness that plagued Call of Duty one through three.

Now, there isn’t a lot of room for innovations in first person shooters, the mechanics are always the same. Point at something and shoot until it dies or blows up, whichever comes first (sometimes an enemy dies and blows up). So the real change has to come in setting, weaponry, and bonus features. Story is not a real factor in the FPS genre, so that doesn’t count. Call of Duty makes an effort to change all of these things, and while I applaud them, it’s still pretty much just shooting at things.

I played the multiplayer game with a couple of friends. We played a couple of normal matches where we ran around and shot at each other in ways that would get any real soldier sniped. But after a while we found ourselves mixing it up to stay entertained.

With Art Basel long gone and New Year’s Eve ’08 far, far away, Miami party hoppers are always looking for the next-best-thing, especially when it involves an elite crowd and complimentary cocktails. Enter the Stoli Hotel, a two-week party with DJs, fashionistas and celebs, with a crowd of boozers and oglers just waiting to get a taste. Wednesday night, famed socialite Kim Kardashian hosted an evening there featuring tracks spun by DJ Jordan Laws and free Stoli cocktails to quench thirst and get the party going. Kardashian strolled in around 11 p.m., posing for cameras and fans left and right with her sister Kourtney nearby. The ladies were later escorted to the spa room, where they received VIP treatment: foot massages, the ultimate pampering vacation from killer pumps. The Kardashians spent some time moseying around in their robes and slippers and then made a B-line for the bar and hung out with admirers. The only unsettling behavior was the sausage fest of males creepily mesmerized, in a shock-like state at the former Playboy seductress. Maybe Kim will make a cameo at the Stoli Hotel Miami Style Battle event on Saturday, featuring eight of the top designers vs. artists from Miami in a live Project Runway-esque showdown... if not, guests will just have to focus on taking down as much of the Stoli open bar they can handle. --Tracy Block

This past October, The New York Times purchased tuna sushi from 20 restaurants and markets in New York City and subjected the samples to laboratory tests. The startling results were reported yesterday: Mercury levels of tuna from Nobu Next Door, Sushi Seki, Sushi of Gari, Blue Ribbon Sushi, and Gourmet Garage reached the “action level,” meaning high enough for the Food and Drug Administration to ostensibly remove the fish from the market. There was so much mercury found “at most” of the places tested that “a regular diet of six pieces a week would exceed the levels considered acceptable by the Environmental Protection Agency.”

Health problems concerning mercury include an increased risk of cardiovascular disease and neurological symptoms. It can be especially dangerous for pregnant women and children as it can damage the developing nervous system.

More from the study: “In general, tuna sushi from food stores was much lower in mercury. These findings reinforce results in other studies showing that more expensive tuna usually contains more mercury because it is more likely to come from a larger species, which accumulates mercury from the fish it eats. Bluefin contains more mercury than albacore or yellowfin.”

But here’s the finding most relevent to sushi lovers in Miami: “Although the samples were gathered in New York City, experts believe similar results would be observed elsewhere.”

And one last, worrisome quote: “No government agency regularly tests seafood for mercury.” --Lee Klein

Celebrating the end to a long, rough football season, a handful of notable NFL players headed out way past their curfews to SoBe’s Tuesday night party in B.E.D. An elite crowd of Miami scenesters gathered as the team finally took some time to celebrate life off the field. The beginning to a great off-season, the not-so All Stars enjoyed bites and late night fun for the ultimate boys’ night out. Dante Culpepper, the quarterback for the Oakland Raiders, treated himself to a private bed while relaxing with some players from the New York Jets, running back Thomas Jones and middle linebacker Jonathan Vilma. Other athletes mingling around the nightspot with competitors nearby included Ryan Sims, defensive tackle for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Larry Johnson and Adewale Ogunleye, who have been partying around town for the past couple of weeks, getting an early start on the end-of-season festivities. Hey, why not drown some sorrows in a round of Grey Goose and Motley Birds while luring some sexy company over to B.E.D.? --Tracy Block