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Nikki Beach, the A-list beach club, is expanding its monopoly on chic entertainment to Coconut Grove. The suburban-ish location will probably mean that this version will be a little less of the round-the-clock, drug-fueled, electronica atmosphere that the South Beach annex provides. Instead of cabanas they call the loungers in the Grove “champagne beds,” and the Nikki SoBe touts the mojito as its signature drink, while across town it’ll probably be a cappuccino served up in the European-style deli café. They have happy hours for young professionals, short ribs are on the menu, and dinner is over at 11! Though there will be differences and fewer of the drunken memories that the Ocean Drive outpost provides, I’m sure we’ll be able to find something there that we love.

See for yourself at tonight’s grand-opening, their signature White Party. The party starst at 10:30 and you must wear white and RSVP to party with Alonzo Mourning, models, acrobats, and other VIP’s. So call 305-476-3600 or email coconutgrove@nikkibeach.com and let ‘em know you’re coming. The new Nikki is located at 2889 McFarlane Rd. --Raina McLeod

American Idol came to town this past August looking for some magic from the Magic City for the first time since Season Two. The results, which aired last night on FOX, were less than magical. Actually Miami fared as well or better than many other audition locales this season, with several fine singing specimens, but we don’t watch the preliminaries for the talent; we watch them for the train wrecks.

The heartbreaker of the bunch was Shannon McGough, an 18 year old from the rodeo town of Okeechobee. The producers had shot a bio segment about her, but you never know if that means they’re going to pass the audition. Still, in this case the odds seemed good: Shannon has been singing since she was 3, and her proud parents (who own a carniceria) touted her victories as Okeechobee Idol and even South Florida Idol. As the contestant talked about her life over b-roll of herself grinding meat into hamburger at her parents’ meat market, you couldn’t help rooting for her, even if the boasting about her belching prowess was a tad obnoxious.

To celebrate his decade of success, owner Romeo Majano is offering complimentary champagne this Sunday, and each succeeding Sunday through April. Recently rated in the Zagat Guide as “Top Italian” restaurant in Miami, Romeo’s Café, on Coral Way, distinguishes itself via lack of a written menu. Chef Romeo visits each table of diners (there are just 28 seats), asks their preferences, and follows with a customized meal. The prix fixe three-course lunch is $35.00, six-course dinner is $80.00. And now it includes, on Sundays, Piper Heidsieck bubbly. -- Lee Klein

11 ex-Dolphins will be playing or somehow participating in the Super Bowl this Sunday, which is more than any of the current Dolphins can say. Let's see... Jason Taylor? Collecting Man of the Year Awards. Not bad. But we'd rather he be collecting a Super Bowl ring. Cleo Lemon? At the corner laundromat. He threw his dirty undies in the dryer and the rest of his clothes he threw into some old lady's hamper (see what I did there?) Channing Crowder? Looking for another tree to crash into. Our entire secondary? Still in flames from what Randy Moss did to them back in October. Trent Green? Drawing murals on the wall with his own poop.

Here's the list. Because fuck it, man:

Atlus Co. is a game developer that specializes in weird, off-beat games and they show no signs of changing directions. The developer is currently working on Baroque, a remake of a title originally released for the Saturn and Playstation. The game follows the same twisted, surreal vision as other games in the Atlus Co. catalogue.

The game is a dungeon crawler. There is only one dungeon - just one huge seriously messed up dungeon. The layout changes every time that the protagonist enters, so you are guaranteed to get lost. This style of game is reminiscent of the older RPGs, specifically the text-based ones, where the purpose was to either get the hell out of the dungeon or find your way to the bottom (I never understood the fascination with going to face your ultimate demise at the hands of some three-headed beast on the bottom floor of a dank dungeon).

Nothing says benevolence and charity like a liquored up asshole telling everyone in the room just how much they’ve let him down. But that’s me. I love me an alcoholic beverage or two, and I love to let it all hang out when I drink. So if I’m going to get shit faced and act like a total douche, I might as well do it while supporting a good cause. It’s all about the kids, really.

Just when I begin to come to terms with the fact that Dan Marino may not, after all, be a god, he comes out and announces that he’s now making wine. He’s not a god. He’s the friggin Messiah!

Cesare Santos must have missed the memo on the requisite suspense for the unveiling of his poster for this year’s Miami International Film Festival. Instead he walked to the podium, with the assembled dignitaries, and – oblivious of the planned countdown – calmly pulled the black curtain off his piece. It was a welcome moment of levity and spontaneity at an otherwise staid press conference this morning at Miami-Dade College’s Wolfson Campus announcing the festival line-up.

The veil was quickly replaced and a new countdown ordered for the assembled television cameras.

The fest brims with 163 films and boasts 10 world premieres. Highlights include Academy Award nominee Katyn, recent Sundance phenom American Teen, and the world premiere of a restored print of Sergio Leone’s epic Once Upon a Time in the West. Expected to attend are Harvey Keitel, Kate Hudson, Alfred Molina, David Schwimmer, and Demi Moore, among others touting their work. “They come for their film, but they also come because it’s Miami,” said the festival’s new director, Patrick DeBokay.

Describing the primary challenge of bringing fresh and compelling movies to local audiences, DeBokay explained the 11th hour addition of American Teens to the line-up: “Paramount called at 6 p.m. last night to say, ‘We want to bring you the biggest film of Sundance.’”

After pulling the cover from his poster prematurely, Santos, a local artist and Miami Dade College alum, took the podium to talk about it. “I wish I didn’t have to speak for it,” he said. Really, he didn’t: The beach scene features the Freedom Tower as a movie camera with orange slices for film reels, hoisted into place by a construction crane in the background. “I love the Freedom Tower, that’s why I had to put it there,” he said. “The cranes, I mean, Miami’s full of that.” --Frank Houston

Let's be honest: the mood at the Barak Obama party early Tuesday night at the American Legion wasn't cheery. But the three dozen or so supporters were pleasant, if not understandably irked by Hillary Clinton's recent "fundraiser" in a state where, technically, the Democrats weren't supposed to campaign prior to the primary. (Check out this editorial from the Manchester, N.H. Union Leader for an interesting take on the matter).

I took a barstool next to a smiling woman named Lottie Hines. She wore a white plastic hat with an Obama bumpersticker adhered to the front. Turned out she was a tenants rights' advocate in Miami Dade County and a veteran campaigner for Bill Clinton. This time around, she said, she was squarely in Obama's camp. What that meant this primary season: 10 bumperstickers, 30 tiny round stickers and a homemade t-shirt. "If we had the information we could have put out to the public, we woulda..." she paused. "scuse me for saying this, but we woulda kicked Hillary's rump." Because the National Democratic Committee didn't allow the candidates to campaign here in Florida, supporters received none of the usual flotsam: no campaign signs, no flyers, nothing.

There was a brief flurry of applause throughout the room when Obama's vote percentage ticked to 30 percent, then again when a TV station wandered through with a camera. Ten minutes or so after Hillary Clinton was deemed the winner by CNN, Obama supporter Dave Patlak tried to put a happy spin on the results. All of Obama's votes, he said, were a result of grassroots campaigning. "I want to thank everyone in this room for your hopes and dreams," he said.

At that moment, someone placed a life-size, cardboard cut-out of Obama next to Patlak. Lottie Hines, who had been looking through her purse for her phone, looked up, startled. "I looked up and saw Obama and thought, 'When did he come in?' "

-Tamara Lush
Photo by Marco Kornfeld

If a flimsy “I voted” sticker isn’t enough to validate your participation in the democratic process, G by Guess is offering up a proper thank you. After all, it’s hard to take an hour off of work, stand in a long line, and press a button on a screen, all just to make a difference in our country. Actually, you can get a reward without even lifting a finger. G by Guess partnered with Declare Yourself, is offering a 20 percent discount in the store and online from now until March 1 to create awareness about the election.

The best part? There will be no way to verify if you actually voted or not; everyone gets the discount just for visiting the website. Sounds like a nice reward for very little effort -- a message we here at Riptide can get behind. The nearest stores are in Coconut Grove and Dolphin Mall and have men’s and women’s clothing. Go here for more info and to download the coupon. --Raina McLeod

I want to start the Burn Down the South Dade Justice Building (after everyone goes home) Club. But in the interest of diplomacy, I’ll settle for re-naming the place The Castle of Poop and Inconvenience. Any takers?

Frankly, I feel like all of my constitutional rights and bodily orifices have been violated in that terrible, terrible hole in Cutler Ridge. Here’s why:

"Isn't that the Muslim guy?" a man shouts, smirking from a passing pickup truck on 11th Street near Jefferson Avenue late Tuesday morning. That's where Jon Fontaine holds his Obama 2008 sign.

Fontaine, a 45 year old antiques dealer in aviator glasses and black flip-flops, shrugs off the unfounded rumor. "This is Hillary country for now," he says. "The gays, the Jewish retirees, they like Hillary. But Obama is just what the country needs. I'm tired of the monarchy." Fontaine is Obama's lone supporter near the Miami Beach fire station, where a dozen-plus bored-looking poll workers far outnumber the handful of voters at today's primary.

Fontaine has never been more energized about a candidate in his 27 years of voting. "His desire is really altruistic. The Clintons are about power. I don't know how Bill Clinton wants people to vote for somebody he hasn't wanted to have sexual relations with for 20 years." --Janine Zeitlin

Ready... Set... Ross. Car alarms sounded in the streets as multiple Maybachs made their way down Washington Avenue Monday night in honor of The Boss of the Carol City Cartel, Rick Ross. Celebrating his 31st birthday in ultra VIP SoBe style, the Miami hip-hop star was joined by Jay Z, Scott Storch, Sean Kingston, Trick Daddy, DJ Khaled, and other entertainers. With a VIP section blocked off for Ross and company, White Diamonds was packed tighter than a bootleg case of Ross’ new album, Trilla, which hits the streets March 11.

Cash Money prospect Brisco (“Bitch I’m Me”) along with Slip-N-Slide up-and-comer Quote (“Don’t Wanna Fight” ft. Trina) came out to party along with a few hundred of Ross’ closest friends from the 305. Boston Celtics’ forward Paul Pierce had trouble getting past the velvet rope while Cincinnati Bengal Chad “Ocho Cinco” Johnson practiced prima donna behavior, giving out the cold shoulder to all in his path. The bitter athletes didn’t dim down the life of the party; Ross had bottles poppin’ from 1 a.m. on, with blunts a-blaze every few seconds. The smoke-filled urban hotspot hosted a drama-free night of good company, good times, and a good ‘ol buffet of chicken wings to accommodate a club filled with fans of the chronic. --Tracy Block

This morning on Northwest Seventh Avenue, Main Street Black Miami, guys with Vote Yes on Amendment 26 signs and T-shirts lined the road. One whom I questioned, 18-year old Mark James, said he was being paid $80 for the day to stand under a palm tree and wave the placards -- colored green and orange. (UM colors?) He was unfortunately in a position where no one could see him.

Cars were tricked out to urge a yes vote too. But the electioneering only occurred in the black part of town as far as I could tell. That's sleazy. The gambling boys must think blacks are more prone to vote for the accursed amendment, which would allow slot machines at Calder Race Track, Flagler Dog Track and Miami Jai Alai.

Here's the good news, though. Barbara Lazanne, an African American home health nurse whom I questioned outside the Dunbkin' Donut at NW 7th and 103rd Street, saw all the signs. But she still voted against the proposal. "It's only going to bail out the racetracks," she said. "And the tax proceeds will be spent all over the state, not just here." Hallelujah.

Even James, who's aiming to earn his GED, didn't wave the sign with much energy. When I asked him whether he planned to vote for the amendment, he answered: "I don't know."

Chuck Strouse

There is a certain Jorge Luis Borges twist to me, a restaurant critic, critiquing a show whereby average folks play restaurant critic. I’m talking of the first installment of Check, Please!, the PBS series that has met with great success in Chicago and Los Angeles, and hopes to do likewise here. Michelle Bernstein hosts the half-hour show, which premiered last night and will run through Thursday. It moves along quickly, mostly out of necessity as three restaurants get reviewed by each of three guests, plus a short plug of each eatery by the owner.

Episode one began with Beauty Pageant President Barbara Howard offering praise for her selection, Sheba Ethiopian Restaurant. Skydiver (?!) Robi Brian started off sounding a bit pompous as he criticized Sheba as not being up to par with Ethiopian eateries he has eaten at in other cities. He sarcastically noted that it was “the best Ethiopian restaurant in Miami” (it is, of course, the only one), and went on to suggest there having been a microwave in the kitchen. Ouch.

The Florida Primary has finally arrived, and so has Jesus' endorsement for president. Jesus vetted the candidates for you all last week, and while Rudolph Giuliani and Hillary Clinton got high scores, 4 Crosses and 4 1/2 Crosses respectively, they just couldn't summit the mountain that is Jesus' all important vote. Click here to read the whole Who Would Jesus Vote For? series. Now, without further ado, we present you Jesus' pick for the 44th President of the United States.

Remember in the patented Crucifix Rating System (CRS)®, a maximum five crosses equals a strenuous holy endorsement.