Dan Marino Got Wine

Categories: Sports

Nothing says benevolence and charity like a liquored up asshole telling everyone in the room just how much they’ve let him down. But that’s me. I love me an alcoholic beverage or two, and I love to let it all hang out when I drink. So if I’m going to get shit faced and act like a total douche, I might as well do it while supporting a good cause. It’s all about the kids, really.

Just when I begin to come to terms with the fact that Dan Marino may not, after all, be a god, he comes out and announces that he’s now making wine. He’s not a god. He’s the friggin Messiah!

Marino has announced his new line of Vintage 13 wines – chardonnay, merlot and cabernet sauvignon – will be sold at Publix, local wine shops and his restaurants in Miami, St. Petersburg, Orlando and Las Vegas. The wine will be distributed by Charity Wines and will sell for $13.00 a pop. For each bottle sold, $1.25 will go to the Dan Marino Foundation to help children with chronic disorders.

Never in my life did I ever think I’d be buying wine from Publix. But that's what I once said about condoms. Hell, it beats buying wine at WalMart. So off to Publix I go for some wine, condoms and a frozen pizza! And, hey, I like wine. I like a good merlot every now and then. It's a nice way to wash down a good meal and relax while watching the sunset. Plus, it’s great for getting my lady all loosey-goosey, if you know what I mean.*

Bang it here for more info on Marino Estates Vintage 13 wines. Get yourself a bottle or two and help support Dan’s foundation. -- Chris Joseph
*It means I get her buzzed so I can rub my face between her boobies without a fight.

For more on sports from Chris Joseph go to FinsNation.com

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