Blogs

Ivon David Rojas

Another rainy weekend didn't stop the people from partying non stop as the Winter Music Conference drew to a close. The Sony Ericsson Open started last week and continues far in to this coming week. Traffic was hell at all hours of the night as you approached Miami Beach thanks to all the parties going on, but again this didn't deter party-goers. And let's not forget the Ultra Music Festival. The hangover isn't going to be pretty. -- Elvis Ramirez

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Lucy Orozco

Traffic before the toll booths on the Rickenbaker Causeway was backed up for almost an hour due to the Sony Ericsson Open. It was interesting to find people with a dislike for certain aspects of tennis at the event. These people developed their own version of the game, beach tennis, because they find it psychotic for people to sit in silence for hours listening solely to the sound of a ricocheting ball.

An area next to the closed court at the Sony Ericsson Open, was set up with sand specifically for the beach tennis game. DJ Sraz provided the tunes for the beach tennis spectators.

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It seems fitting that Miami would be the city to host the world premiere of Twyla Tharp's NIGHTSPOT, an energetic work that fit together in a discordant yet stunningly compelling way.

Splashes of classical ballet, Broadway, Cirque du Soleil, fight clubs and Latin dance percolated constant curiosity throughout this highly anticipated work.

Tharp, and musical innovator, Elvis Costello, collaborated on the piece that was Miami City Ballet's first major commission. Costello's original music, played by a nine piece onstage band along with the orchestra underlined and bolded Tharp's varied choreography, as did costumes in shades of red and fuchsia designed by Isaac Mizrahi.

Grand jetés and pirouettes gracefully transitioned into jazz and salsa steps. Tharp toyed with traditional ballet gender roles in the work as a lusty, principal female became the aggressor and the male dancer was the broken, frail one. The first male principal solo was filled with karate-like kicks that transitioned into ballet leaps, making for a spectacularly bad-ass ballet.

There were only brief moments when the work felt forced. A movement highlighting a swath of long red silk felt like an imitation of an artful circus and, at times, the multiple partner dances seemed too West Side Story. Overall, NIGHTSPOT felt refreshing, cacophonous and cohesive --very much like an evening in the Magic City.

--Janine Zeitlin

It may not be time to take out the aged scotch yet, but you can at least crack a celebratory cerveza this weekend, thanks to a ruling this week from the 1st District Court of Appeal in Tallahassee that said bicycle groups have the right to sue the Florida Department of Transportation for failing to put in bike lanes.

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Report Says Employment Practices Could Have Prevented Child Porn Scandal - According to a report by the Department of Children and Families' Inspector General, the agency hired Al Zimmerman, now accused of luring teenagers to child pornography, and did not go through the proper measures of verifying his background. They did not even fingerprint him to check for a criminal record. The report also says that Zimmerman's computer use was not monitored as strictly as it should have been.

McCain Stands Against Government Aide For Mortgage Crisis - Senator John McCain said Tuesday that he does not believe that the government should bail out people who acted irresponsibly. Using this reasoning, he refutes his Democratic opponents efforts to push for large government packages to help foreclosing mortgage owners.

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I’m ashamed to tell you this Mr. Construction Worker with an East Coast accent and sandy hair but, I usually cross the street when I see a group of hard hats clustered. I won’t again.

You were near last week when, after 25 minutes of circling for a parking spot, I was delighted to see two young girls heading to their car at the Miami Beach lot along Collins Avenue around 21st Street.

I regret that you couldn’t stop the black, luxury car with three, vocal young lads from coming behind my Honda or detain the one who emerged in a Jordan jersey displaying a colorful assortment of body art.

I greatly appreciate that you did hear him not so nicely inform me through my open car window: “I’ll come after you bitch if you take that spot. I’ll beat you.”

Thankfully sir, you stepped in and said, “Don’t talk to her like that.” And, even after glancing at my engagement ring that perhaps led you to the conclusion that you had no chance in my pants, you still moved your truck to free a spot. I will never look at hard hats the same.

Sincerely,
--Janine Zeitlin

P.S. I miss you already. Tuesday when 395 was closed, a muscle head in a pink polo on South Beach backed his car into a man and flipped his body a few feet into the air. The driver didn’t even apologize to the man he splattered on the pavement. I paused to see if the man needed help and a gentleman behind me started honking and yelled, “Nothing you can do about it.”

No details yet, other than that earlier this week Michael Bloise, one of Miami's star chefs, left his position at Wish restaurant in The Hotel on South Beach. Bloise' menus at Wish were as provocative, whimsical, and innovative -- not to mention tasty -- as any in town. Who else served pan-seared foie gras with Cascabel roasted banana, daikon radish, and black pepper marshmallow, or black Chai tea créme brûlée with citrus madeleine and tomatillo marmalade? We wish that Bloise appears somewhere else locally in short time, and are confident he will. And we wish that Wish finds a chef as good, although we are not nearly as confident in this regard.

--Lee Klein

Hello, Kitty

Dear Tex,

Hmmm common problem ya got there. The next time you’re sending out a booty-text, look around the club and I bet you’ll see dozens of other cellys lit up and engaged in erotic exchanges. And I can even put my own two cents in and let you know that this Kitty has gotten slizzzured and climbed up the wrong tree a few times herself, if you know what I mean. So Tex, your question is definitely one that needs to be addressed. Because unlike its prehistoric cousin - the drunk dial, the drunken text is easier to execute under any circumstance. You could be taking communion from the pope himself, texting someone for an ass-appointment, and no one would be the wiser – but that’s between you and God, hon.

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If you saw this coming down the street, nine times out of ten you would run in the opposite direction. The hair do', the sunglasses and the billowing green sheet she tried to pass off as a dress combine to make a horrendous outfit. It does, however, make the perfect costume for any B movie monster.

Click here to see a slide show of the fashion show.

J-Lo's fashion show was supposed to start at the Setai at 8 p.m. It was the first big event of Funkshion Fashion Week, which is in its 10th year.

At 8:05, I scanned the swanky hotel's outdoor courtyard, which was getting its fair share of the ocean breeze. No models, but I did spot three guys in sunglasses, several shivering women in tiny dresses and countless men in white shirts unbuttoned to mid-chest. Everybody tossed back cocktails to warm up. "Who knew it was going to be, like, minus three degrees?" squealed a reporter from
a TV show called "Barrio 305."

Exactly.

At 8:35, my feet started to hurt from standing amidst the pack of waiting photographers. I accidentally bumped into one while shifting my weight from one foot to another. "Sorry," I said. He turned to me and purred, "You can touch me anytime."

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Little did Theo Grimes from Miami Gardens know that when he stepped out of the shower he would come face to face with Jesus. Well, it was the image of Jesus on his bathroom wall, but that was still a creepy sight. Just imagine, you’re toweling off and next thing you know Jesus' visage is staring you down.

Grimes calls the mildew Jesus a miracle, according to the NBC 6 story posted March 25.

I'm sorry, but the fact that a person sees the image of Jesus on a bathroom wall is just not a miracle. Don't you think Jesus has better things to do than show up at random in people's bathrooms, or maybe Heaven is just that boring.

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Last week Forbes magazine named Miami the cleanest city in America.

Yeah, I scoffed too. And so did most people commenting on the Forbes.com article.

The study gave the most weight to air pollution and ozone levels, followed by lesser factors like water quality and per-capita spending on cleanup and waste management. According to the results, Miami is king among metro areas with populations greater than 1 million.

I don’t expect you to believe me. Really. I rode up and down Miami’s streets armed with cynicism and a copy of the article. I told people about the study and handed them the proof. I got the same response every time:

“It can’t be,” said Ana in Hialeah.

Manny in downtown called it bullshit and pointed to an empty can of Busch beer and a Subway cup near the sidewalk.

OK, so there’s litter, but after looking for dirt all day, I realized the rampant filth most of us associate with the city is… well, not there. Some areas are unkempt and could use a grooming, sure. But when you look closely (and shed your preconceived notions) it’s not as bad as you expect. Shit, it certainly isn’t as bad as I expected, and I’ve lived in Miami most of my life.

The article says Florida’s weather patterns blow away pollutants. It credits Florida’s Department of Environmental Protection for tightening the grip on the power companies and lauds Miami’s water management for ensuring there are no spills into public water.

Guess they didn't read our story this week, "Poisoned Well," about how the county covered up a benzene spill in the Northwest wellfield.

Me, I’ll follow sdelgad1’s advice and tip my hat to the Joe Carollo and Manny Diaz administrations for wiping up behind us.

Bryan Falla

Jason Taylor once again kicked some dancy ass on Dancing With the Stars last night. He danced the Mambo and impressed the judges with his nimble feet and devilish good looks. He also scored a 9 from all three judges! Tonight is double-elimination night. Two contestants will be gone by the end of the evening. Also gone: my dignity.

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A piece of a construction crane fell from the top of the 46-story Paramount Bay high-rise, plummeting through a nearby structure and killing two people this afternoon. The building, at 20th Street and Bayshore Drive, was ringed with Fire-Rescue vehicles, while three helicopters buzzed overhead.

“They were loading a piece of equipment onto that crane up there,” said a construction worker who was waiting on a bus on Biscayne Boulevard, gesturing to a yellow crane perched high atop the building. “And it gave way and just came flying all the way down onto that house behind it.” The house was unoccupied but contained a sales office.

Several people were injured in the accident, and rescuers continued to look for other victims as dusk approached. According to the Herald, a ''cadaver dog'' was brought to the scene to assist in the search. --Frank Houston

The next time you are heading south on Biscayne Boulevard look to your right just before you go under I-195 and you'll spot this interesting piece. We've written about the artist and, um, debates surrounding his work. Click here to read that story. -- Elvis Ramirez

Elvis Ramirez