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Magic City Kitty - Loser and Water Cooler Cruiser

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Hello, Kitty

Home life and social life, all cool. But it’s my job that is really driving me crazy. First of all, I’m no prude, let’s get that straight. But there’s this guy at my office that harasses every single semi-cute girl on the payroll, including me. And when I say harass, I mean that he leaves “Hey, sexy” on personal MySpace pages, corners you by the water cooler telling you how good you’re looking that day, invites you to dinner and lunch, and just constantly acts inappropriately and gets all up in your personal space. It’s not that he’s a bad-looking guy, but his game is just so damn aggressive and unwanted that every breath he takes is a turnoff. I’ve already told him to back down, but this fool still doesn’t get it! The pay ain’t good enough to stay, but I’m too lazy to look for another job. What do I do?!?!

401K’d Up and Fed Up


Hey 401,

This guy sounds like your standard issue Corporate Creep. Office flirting can be a fun way to pass the time, but there’s a major difference between that cool talking-about-the-boss buddy turned after-work-drinks buddy turned fuck buddy and this dude, who’s trying to cheat and go straight to your bottom line. Didn’t he see the damn orientation video? Not cool, and for so many reasons. First of all 401, the MySpace pimpin’ is soo corny. You’re sitting in a cubicle not 20 feet from his and he has to log on to a website, go to your page, type some shit, and then go through that verification step all just to say “Hey, sexy”? Creep, walk over and say that shit!! Second, cornering you by the water cooler is a fuckin’ violation of the worst kind. You’re over there to wet your whistle, pop a Valtrex, make your oodles n noodles or whatever, and he’s lying in wait to drop some of that creep convo on you? Hell, no.

Third, the dinner and lunch invitation is a touchy one. If he’s actually trying to get you to go out somewhere, he’s out of line. But if payday is two weeks away, the tunafish you brought for lunch smells more like ass-fish, and he’s ordering delivery …girlfriend, I won’t be mad at you. I’d prefer ass-fish, but that’s on you, 401. Just be warned that this will make him think that he still has a chance, something that you may not want, free meal or not. So how do you rub this creep out for good? Tell him that he’s out of line ONE good time. I mean it -- just once, and be firm about it. Tell him exactly how and when he was out of line, and let him know that you will go over his head if he doesn’t chill. And if he ever does anything even remotely creep-y again, go tell HR and have them show his ass the door.


Got a question? Email the Magic City Kitty.




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