Your Obligatory Dolphins Draft Grade

Categories: Sports

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It seems that the Dolphins scored a pretty nice draft grade across the board from various experts yesterday. For example, the Star-Telegram called the Chiefs and the Dolphins the biggest winners of the draft and awarded them each the highest grades of all the NFL teams. And CBS Sports gave the Fins an A.

Then there's Mel Kiper Jr. He too is a draft expert. Mainly because he says so. So we'd best listen up. Don't mess with Mel Kiper. He'll beat your ass if you get sassy with him. That Todd McShay is just begging to get the shit knocked out of him. Kiper gave the Fins a B. Then remembered that we drafted Chad Henne and downgraded it to a B-. Fuck him. Kiper criticized Henne's accuracy and immobility. And then said he liked Henne's toughness and intangibles. But gave the Fins a B- anyway.

Me? I rather like our draft class. It's not sexy like, say, a poolside margarita in a beachside resort. It's more workman, like a cup of coffee. Which can be sexy. After all, I do like my coffee like I like my women -- black. Or white. Plus two sugars is good too. The draft filled needs and plugged holes. Jake Long is a mountain of a man. And like my Boy Scouts scoutmaster always used to say, a mountain-man is just what you need to plug in holes. As for Henne, here's my take on him. I think he'll be a decent quarterback. I still like John Beck slightly better. But I guess we'll see how it all plays out.

As for which of our rookies have the best chance to start this season, I'll say it's a bit of a toss up. Right now vets Jason Ferguson and Randy Starks look to occupy the defensive line. You've also got Paul Soliai in the mix. Freshly drafted Kendall Langford has a good a shot as any among the rookies to get a starting nod. As does Phillip Merling, if he's cleared to play. On the O-line, you'll have Big Jake at left tackle, Vernon Carey at right and Justin Smiley and Samson Satele in the middle. Then it'll come down to rookies Shaun Murphy, Donald Thomas and Lionel Dotson battling against Ikechuku Ndukwe and Trey Darilek for the final guard spot. That's a Star Wars character and a guy whose name sounds like "derelict." On those two principles alone, my bet is on one of the rookies. Shaun Murphy most likely.

As for our new running backs, I like Jalen Parmele. He seems to have a Marion Barber vibe to him. Only because Bill Parcells drafted him. Meanwhile Lex Hilliard looks to be a fullback but will likely start as a seam-buster on special teams. Either way, it's going to be fun following the adventures of our crime fighting fullbacks Boomer & Lex!

So, all in a all, it's a draft that fills needs and, best of all, it's a draft that doesn't have me wanting to strangle the guys in charge. And that's always a good thing in my book.

Final Grade: B

Take that minus and shove it up your well-coiffed ass, Mel Kiper Jr!

-- Chris Joseph

For more on sports from Chris Joseph go to Finsnation.com.


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